#I wanna get totally lost in this world

[nikibogwater]

Actually while I'm thinking about it, I just wanna say that the more live-action remakes Disney shlups out like shoveled manure, the more amazed I am that Cinderella (2015) exists. It breaks literally every standard of Disney's LA remakes.

It's not a shot-for-shot remake of the original 1950 animated film, though it does include small references and homages to it, but only when such things can be incorporated organically into the story.

The creators understood and respected the cross-cultural significance of the Cinderella story. They didn't want to "fix" it, or add some wacky twist to it, they just wanted to make the best possible version of the Quintessential Cinderella that they could.

Everything that could be done practically was done practically. The carriage was a real, the horses pulling it were real, and all of the other animals (with the exception of the mice and lizards, since their performance was a lot more involved than the others') were real living animals, the lizard footman and goose carriage driver were wearing prosthetics instead of just having their animal features added in post, the Fairy Godmother's dress had little LED lights sewn into it so that it would actually glow for real, the ballroom set was built by hand and included real chandeliers with more than 2000 total candles that were all actually lit for the scene, and I could go on but you get the point.

There's a ton of attention paid to little details that make the world feel real and lived in. Ella's shoes are always a little scuffed and dirty. Her farm dress is faded and wrinkled. When she breaks down and runs away to the woods, she rides her horse bareback (which, once again, was a thing Lily James actually did, no stunt-double or editing in post), because not only is that something a country girl like her would know how to do, but it also makes sense that with as upset as she is, she wouldn't want to waste time with saddling the horse. When she's dancing with the prince, it's visually obvious that he is leading her and giving her cues because of course Ella wouldn't know the latest ballroom dances, and would need him to guide her through it.

Hey speaking of dancing, y'know what else this movie does that no other LA remake has been allowed to do (at least not to this extent)? ROMANCE. Land sakes alive, this is one of the most unabashedly and yet still tastefully romantic movies I've ever seen. Ella and Kit are just oozing romantic chemistry from the moment they lock eyes for the first time. It all comes down to the fact that these two characters both have the same core values of courage and kindness, which makes their admiration for each other feel grounded and believable. Richard Madden also really sells Kit's feelings for Ella with the way his eyes go all big and soft whenever he looks at her. And don't even get me started on Lily's performance as Ella. Her quiet awe that someone as powerful as the prince loves her. The timidity and fear that she's not really worthy of that. The selfless determination to protect him from her family's cruelty, even if it means she'll never see him again, I'm just-- *banging my fist against the table and screaming into a pillow*

Absolutely god-tier costume design. No notes, I think Sandy Powell's work speaks for itself. Btw, in case you were somehow still wondering, yes, Ella's ballgown is fully practical--those layers upon layers of dreamy silk skirts are real. CG was only used to brighten up the blue color to make her stand out from the crowd more.

Wicked stepmother was allowed to actually be wicked. The movie never tries to make you sympathize with Lady Tremaine, or shift the blame off to someone else. And her villainy is given an extra layer of depth with the reveal that she is a dark reflection of Ella. They've both lost people they loved, but where Ella refused to let her grief get in the way of kindness, Lady Tremaine became utterly consumed by it. She views the death of her first husband as a sort of twisted justification for pursuing all her worst impulses. She despises Ella for her ability to flourish even while enduring terrible suffering, for being everything Lady Tremaine was either unable or flat-out refused to be.

Also Cate Blanchet absolutely SLAYS in this role. Hands-down my favorite portrayal of the wicked stepmother character.

Anyways, TLDR: Cinderella (2015) is the only Disney live-action remake that can justify its own existence and that's because it actively defies everything the LA remakes are today.

[pseudowho]

ummmmmmmmmmmm so i really haven’t been able to get that nanami thirst out of my head, the one where he has girls vying for his attention at all times but he only has eyes for you. THAT ONE MADE ME WANNA START KNAWING ON MY PHONE I LOVE YOUR WRITING BTW but can i possibly ask for something like how the reader takes nanami home after a nice, long, and full day of girls falling over themselves to get his attention and absolutely rocks his world to show that he’s yours….. you get my drift 🌚🌚🌚 (sorry if this ask is too long ive just been thinking about your writing and nothing elseeee 😭)

Oh, you mean THIS OLD THING? I get you...it's hot.

...anyway:

"I'm just sick of it, frankly. It's disrespectful. A total wild abandon of even the most basic manners..." Kento ranted as you followed him through the door, biting your lip, your smile barely-there. You had been on Cloud Nine all day. Any time you had looked up, his eyes were on you. Any time another woman tried to touch him, he shied away as if she were poison. Seeing Kento completely lose his mind at Gojo's flirtations had been the final straw.

Kento may have worshipped you, but you were obsessed with him. You burned for him. You would walk through fire, if he would ignore the lick of the flames just to hold your hand.

Kento was so lost in his rant, that he could barely look at you, grumbling to himself as he stripped off his tie. He tossed it to the floor, stalking away, infuriated...before pausing, heading back and hanging his tie up with a huff. You heard him pace into the bathroom, hearing the taps begin to run as Kento drew a bath.

Knowing he was climbing into the tub to try to scrub away the covetous stares of other women, you waited. And thought. And pondered. And stewed. Each glance, each fingertip-brush of his sleeve, each filthy pointed glare in your direction. You festered with the audacity. While you were gracious, and magnanimous in public, in private, Kento was yours. You heard him slip into the bath. You slipped into something darker.

The bathroom door swung open, slowly, thoughtfully. You leaned in the doorway, arms crossed. Kento lay draped in the clawfoot tub in the bathroom, bespoke, and big enough for him to lie down without needing to bend his legs. Those arms that you loved, thick and corded, flipped over the edges, bubbles tracing down the edges of his biceps. He frowned, his eyes closed, deep in thought.

"I'm sorry." Kento murmured, finally. "I don't try to make other women...act like that."

You hummed, examining your nails.

"I know," you purred, stepping over to him, perching lightly on the edge of the tub, "you're just too...just too much, aren't you?" Kento's eyes flicked open at your tone, seeing your unbridled rage behind some gossamer veneer. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, as that hungry, vengeful gaze trailed down his naked body, a soapy Adonis. The bubbles masked how his cock twitched beneath the surface, too primal to restrain itself just for Kento's uncertainty.

"...darling?" Kento asked, swallowing thickly. He may not be in trouble, but he knew when he was in danger. You pressed one finger to his lips, your other hand beginning to trail circles across his chest, your gaze holding his own. The trails scorched, wildfires left in the wake of your touch. By the time your fingertips started grazing light circles over his nipples, Kento squirmed, his lips parting in a humid gasp beneath your finger.

"How could they know how it is, after all?" You whispered, your fingernails scratching lightly down his chest and belly, now. You leaned over Kento, your clothed breasts dipping into the water, bubbles rushing to invade the valley of your cleavage. Kento trembled, his mind going blank as you silenced him, held him hostage, blood rushing to his cock and making him dumb.

"How could they know that you fall over yourself to sink your tongue inside me?" Your fingers grazed through the honeyed hair on Kento's lower belly, and you clapped a hand over his mouth, capturing the muffled little groan in your palm. The tip of his cock, long, thick and ready, bobbed to the surface, pre-cum mixing with bubbles on his slit.

"How could they know the sounds you make when I ride you? The sounds you make when you cum down my throat? Show me them." You released your hand for just a moment, a husky, ragged moan bursting free. Kento's eyes beseeched you, for release from this blissful punishment. You bit your lip again, a wicked smile in your eyes, and god, how he'd start riots and burn cities for you for just one chance one shot for you only yours for your eyes alone--

"Look at you...such a big man. So strong. The truth is, you could pin me down and do whatever you wanted to me. And you do." You laughed, reaching lower to fondle Kento's heavy, aching balls beneath the surface, feeling him cry out, muffled behind your hand again, twisting and arching out of the water.

"But we both know that behind closed doors...I'm the one that has you pinned down, right? You'd drop everything for me...right?" Kento nodded frantically, a bead of sweat dripping down his chest. He saw stars when your hand gripped his cock, the squeeze tight and possessive. You moaned, soft and wet already, just with the silky-steel weight of him in your palm.

"So just remember, when you're dancing away from all those other girls..." Your hand gripped harder, netting Kento's desperate rumbling moans in your fingers, and beginning to stroke his cock, twisting gently from ball to tip until he bucked into your fist. You kept your hand still, letting him fuck upwards into you. You ignored the splashes as hot bubbled water crept over the edge, splattering onto the floor.

"...remember who you're dancing for, Nanami Kento." Kento was lost, overstimulated by your filth, the myriad erotic images you cast upon his vision, the sheer biting ownership you placed upon him...and, god, it was good. You moved your hand faster now, lubricated by the soap, masturbating Kento until he panted, his eyes glazed and hot beneath your hungry cross-examination.

Reaching for the showerhead, still working on his cock, you set the pressure high, and dipped it beneath the water. So lost was he in being wetly jerked off by you, Kento shouted, fucking upwards again to feel you aim the jet at his balls, forcing them to clench and tighten. Kento couldn't think anymore. Being edged so ferociously had him reeling, and his existence narrowed to just your hands on his cock your hands on his mouth the shower jet pulsing hot water at the base of his length.

"--do anything I'll do anything please-- get in here-- let me love you, please-- shit--cum inside you, please, I-- I can't-- can't take anymore--"

He felt his orgasm building at speed, feeling so pathetic, like a desperate rutting virgin, to be spending himself so easily in your hand. You released the showerhead, and he grasped at your thighs, trying to urge his fingers between your legs. He needed to dip his fingers into your pussy to make this orgasm golden, needed that wet heat around his thick digits--

You grasped his hand, licking his forefinger into your mouth, and Kento cursed aloud, crying out in anguish.

"--fuck...darling I promise I promise, I-- I--"

"...you...you...what?" You urged, fisting around his cock harder to drag him towards the edge. With the hook behind his navel, and the lick of your tongue against his fingers, Kento's eyebrows drew together, his thighs beginning to twitch as his balls tightened up, ready to spend himself in your hand.

You stopped, releasing Kento's twitching cock abruptly. Kento gasped, his chest heaving, rendered stupid and confused.

"...remember who takes care of you, yeah?"

Cooler than a winter morning, you stood, your breasts dripping with pre-cum glossed bubbles. Walking towards the doorframe, you turned, and blew Kento a kiss. He watched you with feverish eyes, gasping and twitching, leaned half forwards, white-knuckled hands gripping the tub.

"--don't--don't leave-- darling-- please-- so close, I--I'm so close..."

With one further bite of your lip, you rubbed his pre-cum between your fingers and reached down, dipping them just inside your entrance with a sweet, high moan.

Throwing his head back, cursing, and spitting, Kento came untouched, thick ropes of seed striping up his abdomen. Kento groaned, bucking against thin air and wishing desperately he was nestled, like your fingers, inside your tight little pussy, taken most of the way to heaven just by imagining it as he came.

You touched yourself to the convulsing, jerking image of him moaning your name, for months to come. Knowing Nanami Kento was yours, and knowing Nanami Kento was yours, were two different beasts entirely.

It was only when you heard Kento's hulking form stand from the bath, the water cascading down as if off a demon's back, that you realised it was your turn to be in danger.

[retroaria]

♡ "All the little things..."

⟡ itoshi rin | oliver aiku | michael kaiser ⟡

summary: gn!reader, things that they’d look for/love in a partner! pure fluff! (i do describe something as ‘sexy’ but it really isn't that serious)

˗ˏˋ written for arias 1.5k follower event! ˎˊ˗

he’d never admit it, but rin would want a partner who can take him down a few notches. someone to calm his nerves and balance out his animosity. he can come to you at the end of every match and immediately release all tension and frustration. but also, someone to ground him and his ego a bit off the field. someone who can remind him to take things slowly and relax when he can and should.

he’s secretly very attracted to kindness. it’s a weird thing to be secretive about but rin is a weird guy what can i say. it makes his heart flutter to see you treating others with such grace, it even tugs a small smile at the corners of his lips which he quickly tries to pull back down into his usual blank expression.

rin tends to be a more private person himself, and he likes others that can keep their peace in that same way. he wouldn’t want to tell the whole world about your relationship, not because he wants to keep you a secret, but because he feels like you’re relationship is even more special the more it exists only to serve the two of you. he likes the idea of having you all to himself.

as a runner up for sassiest man of the year (lost to kaiser lol), oliver tends to find that same snappiness attractive in other people as well. he loves someone who can speak their mind and be confident about it, someone who can stand their ground and not let themselves be belittled. he thinks it’s hot, sexy even.

he likes people that are more outgoing then he is. while oliver doesn’t usually shy away from any fun, he can tend to back out of things because he feels it may be “too much” or an over exertion. he wants someone who can push him out of his comfort zone and get him to try new things that he wouldn’t have otherwise done on his own.

out of the whole cast, oliver is probably one of the most comfortable in his own masculinity methinks. he loves doing self-care and other beautification rituals (lol) with you! would let you do his eyebrows, dye his hair, make him smell like a strawberry shortcake; he fucking loves it. “Can’t turn down a bit of TLC and relaxation” he’d say. he totally does call a lot of it “goop” and “slime” or “sticky stuff” and can only remember to categorize it by color. “Babe, come feel my face, that pink goopy stuff made it so soft.~”

similar to mr. aiku, kaiser also loves a bit of sass in his partners, in a more subtle way though. sarcasm and brutally honest humor make him wanna bark like a dog. he loves it. he’s like the girl in a romance manga that falls in love with the cold and stoic upperclassmen. wants to break your hard exterior, but also wants to be the only person who ever could.

he loves being on the receiving end of ‘acts of service’. if that’s your love language, he’s all for it. he already thanks you just for putting up with him on a daily basis - considers that an act of service lol. making him food or planning a date for him would make his heart swell to the point of explosion.

physical and emotional intimacy need to be a huge priority for him. similarly to how rin likes things to just be between him and his partner, kaiser also needs certain things to be private, though he's more than happy to let the whole world know you're the person he loves. as long as he gets to have those quiet tender moments with you, wrapped in each others arms, he's a happy boy.

dividers: @cafekitsune vv cute :3 | header by me !!

@bllk-tv

[l-in-the-light]

Trafalgar Law on touching and being touched

It won't be a perverted post despite the title lol. But I won't stop your imagination, be free!

There's this funny theme going on with Law and Luffy in particular that picked my interest.

Luffy touched him first.

And he later returned the gesture, much more awkwardly.

Again, Luffy grabbed him angrily first.

Law made sure to return the gesture. (btw he also does it with Zoro, who was the first one to wrap an arm around him at post-Dressrosa feast. In Wano Law has no problem grabbing Zoro and shouts at him angrily. Again, it was Zoro who initiated the touch first).

Law grabbing Luffy to teleport them makes Luffy react in a curious way, you wanna know why?

Because it totally feels like this moment. Both Law and Ace, right after getting uncuffed, grabbed Luffy in same way to get him to a safer place. Ace-Law parallel in relation to Luffy kills me. The whole Dressrosa arc's plotline between Luffy and Law is just Marineford Went Well This Time. Ngl I kinda hated Oda at first for that. Now i dig it.

He didn't seem to like that. Luffy says "Let's all get along well!", but Law thinks alliances don't have to "get along".

Mistranslation here. What Law says here, being so surprised, is "nakayoshi ka?!" which means "you two get along?!" or "you two are buddy-buddies?!". It's a callback to Luffy declaring that Law and Strawhats crew should get along (he uses same word then, nakayoku-get along), Law learns here that Luffy's crew indeed "gets along well". You can interpret it whatever way you wish, but I will use it this time to put this scene into context:

The same gesture Luffy did to him before, but Law didn't return it to Luffy - that's because they're not crewmates. But he takes the lesson to heart and "gets along" with his own crew. Omg I can't believe i'm writing it, I make Law sound like this completely awkward adult who doesn't know how to be friends with people.

But bear with me, the shit is only starting. If you don't want to have feels I reccommend you just laugh at it and stop reading here. I digged up a feels landmine by accident. In-depth study starts below!

It's also a possible callback to the "reassurance" Law got from Cora-san. "I'm counting on you to escape" and Law did. He counts for his crew to steer the submarine well in similar manner.

Law's family didn't seem very touchy-feely, so please keep that in mind as well. He's got limited experience with touches and the few touches he did get familiar with were either taken away from him or brutalized.

Law getting patted on the head lovingly by his parent.

Next time this loving gesture happens, he gets thrown from like two-floor building into a pile of garbage.

And then he gets lied to that everything will be fine. We all know it wasn't.

Do you still wonder why he hates being touched on the head?

The sister touches his face gently while showing child Law support and compassion, reminding him not to despair, someone kind will help him.

Corazon doing the same gentle touch to the face while crying for him, thinking of all the pain Law had to experience. Indeed, the world sent Law someone kind. And Law lost him and blames himself for that.

Law holding Lammy's hand while lying to her that it will be alright. He never does that gesture again to anyone.

The sister holding Law's hand.

"Don't come closer! Don't touch us! We will get infected!" even doing the barrier gesture (I guess that's why Law doesn't get along with Bartolomeo). I used only few examples, there is much more, I just couldn't bear posting them all. Anyway, Law's got the message, his touch is unwanted. The body and mind remembers this.

Similar shit said at the auction in Sabaody about Fishmen, we don't see Law's reaction to that, but we can guess already that it was for sure triggering. Those people talking are sitting not that far away from him.

Ever wondered why Law throws people when teleporting? Besides the fact he avoids making contact with anyone unless they initiate it first, because that trauma is still strong in him ("Stay away! Don't come closer!"), there is one other possible reason:

Wonder no more! He does it to people because that's how people treated him as well, even people who apparently loved him.

Now that I have ruined the "Law is just an awkward unsocial nerd" joke for you, let me offer something to warm your heart a bit in exchange:

Corazon made sure to touch Law a lot and hold him in his arms, despite being often clumsy about it. I think he understood Law's trauma about being touched and his fear to touch or approach anyone, and tried to help him overcome it.

Being hugged and trying to return the gesture. Corazon's efforts did bring some results! But it only works for very few people, Law is still wary of people he doesn't know well. He expects to be unwanted and acts uneccessarily cold, distant and unapproachable because of that. But if you scroll back to the beginning of this post, you can see that he is trying his best to overcome it as well, one step at a time. Some things just can't be rushed.

And hey, at least he seems to be actually relaxed and almost like he *enjoys* being carried around. You think it makes him look uncool? Definitely. But suddenly it feels like Something Important, kinda intimate in a way and not just a silly comedy moment. It's a sign Law relies on people when he lets them carry him and that's why he doesn't protest.

Sanji is like "Why are you relaxing like that?! Get off!!" Finally, it makes sense why Law makes such a sour face here. Sanji should be grateful for the rare privileage after all! Anyway, this is anime-only extension, in manga Sanji actually doesn't tell Traffy to get off and Law chooses to scramble by himself, which doesn't taint the fragile trust those two just shared.

For those who made it to the end of this post, have I ruined Law's comedy moments for you forever? Because I sure just did that for myself.

I could also add one more cute thing from One Piece World Seeker Law's dlc, but I will let those interested to discover it by themselves!

I'm also amazed by the consistency of this theme. Both manga and anime never forget that touch is seemingly a big deal for Law.

[zours025]

Zombie apocalypse face au I've been thinking of...

Thoughts/details on the AU and an alt color vers of the first drawing (luring you into my evil cave) ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Face as unrelated parties... All normal humans. Caname and fruk (separately) wandering the world after generic zombie outbreak. Theyre some of the last ones left so they rarely meet people and need to depend on the other party heavily. Blahblah its miserable everyone is sad and hurt and tired. Francis had to cut off Arthurs leg to prevent an infection. Arthur has to learn to lean on Francis for a lot of stuff and they learn to get over past grudges and such... 😇 Alfred is bitten at some point and hides it from Matthew. Matthew knows, but he's basically lost any will to live and is ready to die whenever Alfred turns because. Well. "I'm only living for him anyways..." type of sentiment... They ignore it and it's never brought up but it's like. I know you know that I know that- Anyways. So those two are trying their hardest to live out their last days in relative happiness. Doing fun stuff. Appreciating the simple things, landscapes, each other's company, etc... That is until they bump into Francis and Arthur in a totally horrible state. And it's like "Well... We can't just let them die can we? We have nothing to lose anyways." So they watch over the two and care for them and once they're all in okay health they decide to stick together and move on. But Arthur and Francis are clearly more determined to live than Mattie and Alfred and they're good fighters. So they wanna keep em around, all while hiding that Alfred is slowly dying and is eventually gonna kill them all. Milking Francis and Arthur's good will... Eventually new relationships form between the four and inevitably weird "betrayal!" and jealousy type feelings show up... Francis is tired of just sleeping with Arthur and when he gets mad he flirts with either of the twins... And the like... Well I haven't thought the whole thing through but these are the important emotional bases to the idea I guess...

I wrote a scenario for many different possibilities of first-to-dies (because i find them all interesting and bcuz twitter oomf asked and i have no restraint. lole)

Alfred dies first: Most obvious scenario (like hes already a bit zombified and clearly hes getting physically weaker) Im imagining a terrible scenario no matter what. Matthew probably finds him first all hunched over and stuff womdering whats wrong before realising that it's finally the end of the line. Francis/Arthur aren't far behind and they blow "Alfreds" head off without hesitation. Obviously causes a rift between the two and Matthew, who broke their trust by hiding this from them. Matthew is inconsolable for a few days, he thought he had more time. Despite the lie I think Francis and Arthur would end up feeling sympathy. They try to keep Matthew up on his feet but frankly I think this would end with him blowing his brains out eventually anyways... 😊

Alternatively Mattie has been mentally preparing himself for a very long time and he immediately kills "Alfred" and then himself in quick succession. Francis and Arthur are haunted by the memory of the two for the rest of their trip.

Arthur dies first: Similarly, I think its easy to imagine this. He's missing a leg and mostly needs to be near someone else to survive zombie attacks/ambushes. Would probably accidentally get separated from the group and get overrun... Might use himself as a distraction to allow the other three to get away in a particularly dire situation... In a way he thinks hes just dead weight anyways and he wants to see the other three live knowing that he doesn't have much left to offer them (Francis would disagree). Francis is obviously very upset and he loses sleep over the memory of Arthur, his last "real" link to his normal life before all of this. But I think Francis is stable enough to prioritise the twins he took under his wing. He knows they need someone to keep them together, so he toughs it out. Everything is fine till Alfred turns some many months later. By then, Francis developed a strong attachment to the two and doesn't have any regrets. Would probably struggle against Alfreds strength to allow Matthew to escape or something along those lines...

Francis dies first: I can also see him just getting killed by sheer numbers. I think he grew very fond of the twins pretty fast + had to be Arthurs protection for a long time and so he developed this feeling of "I need to keep them all safe at all costs". I don't think itd be as much of a letting go type thing as Arthur. It's more calculated and would only happen in a worst-case scenario. I think Arthur would be pretty irritable for the next few weeks, a lot of things remind him of Francis. It bothers him since he wants to just forget and move on, but he finds that his feelings are more difficult to control than he initially thought. Yells a lot at Matthew and Alfred and gets into petty fights. Its not pretty, but they have their moments... In the end, it's not like he wants to make them suffer. They're all he has left now. Hes trying his best. Has a lot of days where he just wishes he had been the one to die instead.

Matthew dies first: Honestly I'm imagining a non-zombie related death, like an accident with one of the guns or some unrelated illness or like. Falling onto a branch? Falling from high up in general? Setting off a trap? Lol idk. Something that allows Alfred to hold Matthew during his final moments or at least look into his eyes. I think hes also the most liable to flip out on everyone and just kill the four of them all together idk ❤ Crazy girl ❤ It shocks Alfred immensely. He expected to be the first one to die and he's really upset about the whole thing. Outwardly, he cracks jokes and tries to convince the other two that he's fine but he's very much not. Doesn't really know what tk do with himself. Just goes through the motions every day. Francis and Arthur notice the slight change in behaviour but don't really say anything and pretend everything is fine. Playing at being a normal family. Arthur and Francis try spending lots of time with Alfred but nothing really helps. Eventually Alfred turns without ever telling them he was infected and they all die the end. Alternatively he kills the other two and then himself on like a random Tuesday. ❤

Bonus: Everyone except Alfred dies lol. Alone in the desolate empty landscape. Welp!!! What now!!!

If you saw my first post of this text part no you didn't im editing this and putting it here with the drawing its more organised ❤ okay ❤

[plleeeepppyyyy]

Hi hi hi!!! If you're still doing requests, could you perhaps do Wally Darling and a reader that's always sleepy?

ofc ofc!!! very cute request! (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

(also mind u,, this was not the first request i gotten,, i jus got this one finished quicker (ﾒ﹏ﾒ) )

wally + sleepy reader!!

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂

•every time wally walks around you or sees you, he always sees you sleeping or on the verge of passing out. he finds it pretty amusing, don’t get him wrong he’s pretty worried about you sleeping almost every day. he’s definitely curious.

•he asks some of his friends first if they know why exactly it is why you do this, but they just assure him, “oh y/n is always sleepy!” that answer wasn’t good enough for him tho,,

•he finds you in the weirdest spots sleeping too, like this one time where you were just,,, laying on the ground while holding a plant. he watched you for a bit and just shook you up, he def walked you home as you were back on the verge of sleep.

•another time, you were gone for the WHOLE day, everyone was looking for you, poor julie was sobbing as if she lost her kid just already putting up posters of you,, but nope, howdy found you sleeping in one of the cabinets in his shop. how did you even get there?? you got a scolding for sure, how was that even comfy?

•wally took the opportunity to ask you a question, you were just laying your head on a table, again (for what seemed to be the millionth time) on the verge of hitting the hay. he asked you why exactly were you tired 24/7? he didn’t understand! it was just a silly concept to him, sleeping all of the time. even if he tried, he could never sleep with the house on his mind.

•you just simply replied, “why not?” wally hummed in fascination and watched you for the rest of the time you were about to sleep. but you were a bit talkative that day, so whatever came on your mind you talked about it to wally.

•after that wally admired how much you just didn’t care for much, you were just in your own little world.

•he DEFINITELY wanted to paint you too, you had no problem letting him. he just told you to sleep, definitely wasn’t an issue for you.

•he woke you up for,, maybe about a hour or two? and showed you an absolute masterpiece, you just sleeping. you loved it, and put it up on your wall. he still kept sketching and drawing you from time to time, i mean you were just still, a simple person to draw for sure!

•he also makes sure you don’t end up anywhere to crazy to sleep, its like he keeps tabs on you. its like if you were just walking somewhere, he just tugs on your hand and is like, “no, this way, silly!” he’s like a guide, making sure you don’t end up back into the river situation,,

•he totally wouldn’t mind if you laid your head on his shoulder; or anywhere on him honestly. he wouldn’t bat an eye if you leaned on him and just hit snooze. wally will continue talking to whoever, still making sure you’re fine. he’d rather have this than you accidentally sleeping on the roof or somewhere dangerous.

•wally finds himself giggling at the silliest things you do or say. like; why are you talking about hippos all of sudden? weren’t you just asleep?

•if he wants some quiet time to himself but not be completely alone. he def goes to you, maybe it’s because you’re sleepy but you’re just calm half of the time too. he also likes to ask you for suggestions on what to paint or draw next, you just mumble out the most random of things. you’re like a spinning wheel! to him at least,,

•you for sure were an interesting character in his book, so goofy. a good friend to despite you sleeping daily.

☁︎︎☁︎︎

romantic ver, ( ˘ ³˘)

•wally just adores you,, like why you so sleepy?? he finds it cute, you’re like a sleepy kitten 24/7. for some reason it makes him giggle to himself.

•definitely watches you 24/7, he doesn’t wanna let you go or leave you be. like before, he’s your guide to not falling in a brook. hell, he’ll even carry you around if you’re that tired. the neighbors look at you both and go, “oh look there goes wally and y/n!” as he just carries you around. :]

•theres always quiet moments between you two, you’re probably just snoring on his bed as he sketches,, well probably you. he always has some sort of art for you, pottery, paintings, whatever he can do, he did it for you.

•he’s also noticed how despite you being sleepy, you always try to make sure you talk to him. you’re just on the verge of sleeping yet again as you talk to him about this type of frog you saw early ago. wally really notices the little things. <3

•he gets all gushy and happy whenever you lean on him as a pillow or something. literally he just wants to grab you and just run away. but he keeps it in as he wraps his arm around you. even so, you can still notice the adoration in his eyes. a whole ass gentleman too, he WILL never move when ur sleeping on him. he shushes some people to, likee shhhh my boo is sleeping.

•to be honest, wally sleeps not so often, he definitely does more now that you help him. but whenever he just can’t close his eyes or anything, he watches you. and how peaceful you are, and he gets confused. how can you sleep so much? waking up to wally staring at you with those big old eyes is both scary yet endearing. you ask him what’s going on with him and hes just like, “you’re so peaceful, can’t help but keep this sight of you all to myself.” wit those big eyes,,

(≧◡≦) ♡

•ack,, okay so he for sure def whispers to you or something whenever you’re tired. he just perks his head to you and just whispers ever so softly, as if you’re already sleeping. even when you’re dead asleep he’ll whisper some stuff. if you’re lucky enough, you’ll probably hear him.

•SPEAKING of whispering and such, he def sings you asleep. as if it was hard enough for you to do so,, but still, legit you LOVE it when he sings to you. his voice is soo soft and listening to it is just, hhhhh, makes you malfunction at times.

•he still finds you at random places too, he quickly picks you up and just wakes you up. he’s all like, “oh, what are you doin here :)?” while ur kinda like ,, “hh”

•to him, you’re just admirable. even if ur sleeping in a not so fancy fashion, he admires how you sleep, even if you wake up all jus cruddy, he’s still looking at you with his big lovey dovey eyes.

•if you have any trouble trying to stay awake he helps you def, tries to at least. if you drink caffeine to help you out with it, he’s all for it. but makes sure you don’t over step it, can’t have his lover too hyper! he also tries to have you have a normal sleep schedule (if you want ofc) but if it doesn’t work than it’s perfectly fine,, you guys will find smth to help you out. ♡︎

•calls you snooze bug, literally he’s so corny at times but its cute . <3

•it’s just when it comes to you he’s so gentle wit you,, its very endearing to watch between you both.

•overall he loves you sm,, his sleepy little person. he’s patient with you all of the time, your sleepiness is part of the charm for him. wally wanted an excuse to carry you around anyway. ❤︎︎

____

okay this was rlly fun to do!! im prolly gonna do all of ur guys’ requests based on finishing it earlier than others if thats fine,, (٥⁀▽⁀ )

i also wanna thank all of you guys for giving me a LOTTA notes and positive feedback!! im glad ur all enjoying reading these as much i love making these,, 🫶

literally all of ur guys’ requests are so damn cute , can’t wait to have em all finished and have you guys read them!! (eventually)

ミ★

[bangchansgirlsblog]

my dear! I'm your fan, I love your writing. Thank you for taking us out of our reality and allowing us to enter a world of our own! Could I make a request for a crazy idea I had? An anguished Y/N and Chan fight and he tells her to leave and leave him alone. When Y/N leaves in a daze he doesn't see the car and is run over. In the end I trust you. =) If it doesn't bother you and you can fulfill my request, I would be very happy!

Can we turn back time?

Warnings: blood, tragic, angst, accident.

Summary: ^^ Requested

A/N: hey baby :) not the best :/ butttt I hope you like it. Sorry for any grammar mistakes.

**

Her heart was beating at a fast pace. Why was he not understanding what she was trying to say?

“You always come home late Chan! I thought I could have this one night. This one night to ourselves but you chose to go drinking instead?!” She poured her heart out as she stared at her idol boyfriend.

“Please Y/n now now okay? I get you wanna talk but can I please just go to bed? We can talk about it tomorrow,” he pleaded as he put down his black leather jacket on the couch.

His curls sat neatly on his head and his black shirt fitting him perfectly and his jeans neatly ironed.

“Chan it feels like you don’t love me anymore!”

“Well maybe I don’t, okay?!” He got up and yelled. His anger was now full on visible as he aggressively slammed his hands on the table.

She stood there looking at him shocked. Tears pricking through her eyes. What was this mess?

His eyes softened as looked her scared figure. “I- I didn’t mean too,”

“Save it Chan.” She sobbed. Her hand was fiddling with her promise ring that Chan has gifted her on their 2 year anniversary. It was the most beautiful ring that she has laid her eyes on but as time went on she realized it was just a ring it was a stress reliever because anytime she was sad, frustrated, mad or confused she would play with the ring on her finger.

“Why can’t you see the things you keep doing hurt me Chan?” She sobbed and looked up at him. Praying that somehow she can find answers.

“I-“ he took a deep breathe trying to keep his own tears in, “I’m failing okay? Can you just leave me alone? Please?” He took a shaky breath before taking a step back and grabbing his jacket.

“Am I a burden now?” Her chest tightened. Chan couldn’t look at her. He had no courage, no strength.

“I’m going upstairs,” he simply said and walked past her.

She wanted to stop him, beg him to hold her, beg him to be there for her but the pain in her chest told her otherwise. She looked so silly, like a kicked puppy.

She wiped her tears and walked over to grab her shoes before leaving her house totally forgetting her phone and keys.

**

It was dark and cold. The sun had officially set and people were either out having dinner or rushing home from work.

Y/n couldn’t help but feel bad as she watched the couples sitting outside restaurants talking and laughing.

She felt empty, she felt deceived. Chan was the perfect boyfriend. He made sure of it but when they started becoming a hit he started slowly pushing her to the side leaving her at home and going out to drink and party or he would be locked up in the studio trying to make new songs.

She was lost without him. She had created her whole routine off of him and now she would wakeup every morning feelings lost not knowing what to do.

Her mind was runnning so fast that she couldn’t keep up. The tears in her eyes were were blurring her vision as she took quick steps to the park.

It wasn’t far. That was always her safe space. Everytime she would get overwhelmed or exhausted she would run away and hide behind the big old oak tree down by the river next to the park.

It was a little foggy, she couldn’t see anything but Chan’s loud voice kept playing in her head until she heard a loud screech. She looked to the side but it was too late. A painful scream left her body as she watched the car crash into her body.

She didn’t feel pain all she could hear was a ringing sound then a few sirens before everything went quiet.

**

“199 what is your emergency?”

“I-I crashed into someone, help! Please! I don’t know what to do-“

“Okay sir is she breathing? I need you to calm down and tell me what happened,”

“Y-yes she’s still breathing, I- I was driving and she just stepped infront of the car, I don’t know! It wasn’t my fault,” he sobbed as panic was filling his chest.

He looked down at the frail body, blood was everywhere and yet he still didn’t pass out. He tried to put pressure on the area that was bleeding the most but it wasn’t working. Blood was still gushing out of her.

She looked familiar tho, he thought.

“Sir, I’ve sent an ambulance. I just need you to keep breathing and tell me if she stops breathing. Keep your hand on the wound,” the dispatcher kept telling him over and over again.

“Oh God this is a lot of blood. Please God, please don’t let her die,” he whispered as he looked up at the car that was parked by them.

It felt like hours until he felt like who could breathe. He heard the sirens. They were here. The paramedics were finally here.

**

“C’mon Y/n please pick up,” Chan cursed at himself as he walked back and forth in the living room.

He was now in sweatpants and a hoodie. His hair wet from the shower.

When he had come downstairs he saw no sight of Y/n and at first he thought that maybe she had gone for a breather so he decided to do some work knowing that she wouldn’t pick up his phone even if he had tried to call so he just chose to distract himself.

He felt guilty for the fight they had. It was chewing him alive but he knew it was his fault and he needed to make it up. As time kept passing by; 30 minutes turned into 2 hours.

He started to feel uneasy so he decided to try her phone but she wasn’t picking. He called all the boys at the dorm asking if she was with them but they said they hadn’t seen her then he called her bestfriend and she too hadn’t seen her. That’s when the panic started to set in.

He called her phone over and over again while making sure to text her too. He rushed upstairs to grab his crocs and that’s when he saw her phone on the night stand table.

“Shit, Y/n,” he groaned and rubbed his eyes before grabbing his car keys.

He put on his crocs and rundown the stairs and that’s when he got a call from his manager.

“What is it Soon-hoo, I can’t really-“

“Chan we need to get to the hospital now,” he said in a panic. Chan’s blood went cold as he could hear shuffling in the background.

“W-what is it? What happened?!” He managed to say.

“It’s Y/n Chan,” Chan’s senses came to a hold. Everyhting around him felt like it was moving in slow motion, “she got run over Chan, I’m coming to pick you up,” their manager said as he started the car.

All Chan could hear was a ringing sound as he stared at the blank floor. Tears running down his cheeks as his heart was beating faster.

______

Don’t forget to reblog😋

[formylovetodaryldixon]

"The little spoon." Daryl Dixon Imagine.

(Not my gif!)

During a night of drinking, you let Maggie, Glenn and Carol know that Daryl likes to be the little spoon.

A/N: There is no plot, just a short imagine hehe hope you like it!

You were very drunk.

While Carol, sitting on the couch, in the same state you were in, laughed at a rather funny story, you grabbed the moonshine next to you on the floor, and took a swig before laughing with her again. Night had fallen in Alexandria hours ago, but without the family members there, the two of you took the opportunity to have a good time. Carol loved you like the daughter she could still hold on to, she used to braid your hair, make you breakfast, and after years together, you two protected each other. You loved her just as intensely, because she had been the mother you lost when the apocalypse began.

But the laughter died on your lips when the door opened. Glenn and Maggie entered first, followed by Daryl, and Carol squinted to get a better look at them, because at that point, the alcohol had blocked her vision like a thick fog.

“Hey, guys!” She waved the bottle in the air, smiling warmly. “We were waiting for you!”

“With several bottles of alcohol apparently.” Glenn chuckled, as Daryl bent his knees in front of you to be at your height.

Your own vision was blurry, but you could still see the slight smile on his lips.

“You look familiar.” You tilted your head, looking at him oddly. “Have we met before? Because I don’t usually say this to people, but you are very, veeeeeeeery handsome.”

The others laughed as Daryl gently pushed some strands of hair out of your face.

“'kay, party girl, you’ve had too much to drink.” He took the bottle and set it aside. “We better get ya to bed before ya start sayin' weird things.”

“Again.” Maggie muttered, hiding her laughter.

“Like what?” You asked, frowning.

Daryl chuckled.

“Last time ya got drunk ya told Father Gabriel ya didn’t go to church 'cause ya were afraid of being set on fire 'cause of yer sins.”

Carol laughed a little louder than everyone else.

“That can happen, you know? Besides… we’re all sinners! Look at yourself, trying to get me into bed without buying me a drink first. At least ask me to marry you before you try to get in my pants.”

You tried to grab the bottle from behind him, but Daryl pushed it away.

“We’re already married, sweetheart.”

“We are?”

“Yep.” Daryl took your hand, lifting it up so you could see the ring on your finger. “You’re stuck with me forever.”

“Awww,” Carol said, and turned to look at Glenn and Maggie, who were still enjoying the show. “He said forever.”

“Yep, and I mean it.”

For his part, Glenn helped Carol. But as Daryl placed his arms under your legs and shoulders, to lift you up so he could carry you into the bedroom, a silly thought flooded your mind and pushed out of your lips before you could stop it.

“Did you know Daryl likes being the little spoon?”

Daryl felt the heat rise to his cheeks as everyone stopped to stare at him.

“I like it, so what?” He said embarrassed, but trying to keep a straight face so no one would laugh at him.

You waved goodbye to everyone, your hand in the air before disappearing up the stairs. The moment you two reached the bedroom, Daryl sat you down on the bed, and the world started to spin around you, (even though it was probably you), while you watched silently as he knelt down in front of you to take off your black boots.

“We should totally have sex right now.” You chuckled.

Daryl chuckled as well as he pulled your pants off after.

“i aint gonna make love to ya, sweetheart. Not tonight.”

“Why not?” You asked with some disappointment.

Daryl looked up, and you threatened to get lost in the ocean of his gaze.

“I don’t wanna make love to ma wife when you’re this drunk. Now get yer pretty ass under the blanket.”

Your black t-shirt fell over your thighs, and with your lips turned down in a sad expression, you moved on the bed until the blanket covered your body, enveloping you in a pleasant warmth as Daryl pulled off his vest, shirt, and pants until he was down to his boxers.

You tried not to look for too long.

He laid down beside you, on his right side, his left hand searching under the blanket for your skin beneath your t-shirt, rubbing your back softly.

You sighed at the touch of his hand.

“G'night, peach.”

“Goodnight, love.” You murmured softly before closing your eyes, and within a few minutes, you fell deeply asleep.

[drdtfuitgumies]

the 100th situation!! yippee!

we've officially hit our 100th situation (not counting the pinned post)...!! to celebrate, i drew everyone* for one of my oddly specific, self-indulgent aus with a target audience of one (me); my drdt x digimon au!

version without any digimon

the au is mostly running on vibes (especially as we don't have concrete backstories for everyone, and a lot of interpretation has to be done), but the digimon adventure trilogy is the main inspiration!

disorganized notes: -) i'll be going to more detail in my other acc! linked here -) this takes place in an universe where hope's peak academy and the tragedy never existed. they still have their "talents" but they don't get nationwide recognition or anything. this helps and hurts some backstories -) i'm separating the story to two arcs. the first arc is where mai befriends everyone in the right half of the image and takes them adventuring in the digital world, ending in her untimely and unfortunate death. which was totally not supposed to happen, whoops :( this fractures mai's friend group and only the valiant efforts of a post-character development arei prevents them from completely cutting off contact with each other -) the second arc takes place ~3 years after, where mai's friends' unaddressed drama and hard feelings finally crop up again and two innocent bystanders (teruko and eden) are forced to take front seat and suffer the consequences. everyone left in the left side of the image isn't relevant to the plot and are background cameos at best but i didn't wanna leave them out -) its basically Character Building Playground for me and a way for me to cope about what could've been. but it also means that the most "content" i make up in my head is actually between the first and second arc, because i wanna figure out how awful everyone's coping mechanisms are and the falling outs that ensue...

summary of my unserious thought process behind each partner choice (more detailed in my other acc): -) the characters from hu to teruko specifically have partners who are relevant in the digimon adventure continuity. if you've watched tri in particular, you know exactly why i chose mai and teruko's partners ^_^ -) hu: morphomon. thank you lost evolution kizuna for introducing a butterfly child-level / rookie!! -) ace: patamon. they are both orange. interpreting patamon as a small angry dog was also really funny to me -) david: gabumon. protag assignment. gabumon wears a fur pelt to appear stronger and it's stated to experience a "180° personality shift" -) xander: agumon. protag assignment. they would be BEST friends -) j: tentomon. juxtaposition of cute pink baby form vs very cool and scary looking insects that shoot LIGHTNING. -) arei: piyomon/biyomon. no reason in particular the evolutions i picked just fit really well -) charles: palmon. plant. the idea of charles naming a plant "charles jr" was hilarious to me, and then the idea of palmon wearing matching goggles and a labcoat was very very cute -) whit: gomamon. sea ouppy... commonly characterized as a very laidback and fun-loving partner in digimon media. -) mai: tailmon/gatomon. Kity :) this specific tailmon is also meant to mirror monotv and behaves like it -) teruko: meicoomon. Kity :) sad kity who turns evil and fucked up :( -) eden: solarmon. silly machine digimon. also commonly evolves to the clock digimon -) min: wormmon. bookworm pun. also very vague allusion to ichijouji ken. Min is not plot relevant (for now) and she's actually way better off here than canon!! -) rose: lalamon. no reason in particular i just think they would be friends and lalamon's face is funny. -_- and 0o0 -) nico: loogamon. wolfy :) wolfy who bites -) veronika: porcupamon. spooky monokuma-esque bear -) levi: bemmon. ourple. also the one "unnatural" digimon pick that i thought fit him well. also, also hoping that digimon liberator gives me a shiny new bemmon evolution line that can work with him! -) arturo: jellymon. i had absolutely zero idea what to do with him because hes one of the two characters i cant get a grip on (for writing) so i just sicced Ghost Game's Jellymon on him

[carmenized-onions]

Loosen Your Grip. | R & D

logline; even when it seems counter-intuitive.

[!!!] series history; so many parts, so many words.

Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. 8 hour mark officially! Lets go!

portion; 15k knowing the next chapters, this trend isn't going to change. they have started to line up with the chapter number, to my chagrin.

possible allergies; i think this one is relatively harmless? Stress though. Everyone's stressed. Idk what to tell you man, it's the bear. oh but more things were yoinked from Season 3!! Think that's just gonna be ongoing tbh. also if this is bad don't tell me. tell me it's really good, actually. i've never doubted a chapter more than I do this one.

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader it's so fem. it's so she/her'd it's so girl'd i'm so sorry

kofi; if you’ve enjoyed the series, perhaps you wanna tip!

i'm so sorry for the delays beloveds, can you say 'most high stress but high reward month and a half of my life'? i can!!!

The Monday morning after New York— The first morning waking up in your own bed in a day or two— Comes rudely. Well, not immediately. First you have to roll over and grab aimlessly at your nightstand, searching for your phone to turn off your alarm. Through blurred vision you slide it to snooze, and as you debate going back to bed, your eyes glaze over some texts you’ve received in your sleep, from numbers you never bothered to put in your contacts. It takes a minute to absorb the information and register it as real, but once you do—

“...Are you fucking kidding me?!” 

—You’re definitely not gonna be heading back to bed anymore. You’re wide-eyed and wired— You can probably skip coffee this morning. Maybe every morning forever.

“Oh— I fucking hate this fucking city, I fucking hate Chicago— Fuck this!” 

In lieu of coming to terms with your world shattering news, perhaps this is an important moment to express gratitude, for the things that have gone well in the past few days. 

The rest of the weekend in New York was as lovely as a last-minute trip in a cramped car full of kitchen equipment and four neurotics can be.

Gratitude. Highlight reel?

There’s a bag M and Ms monogrammed with Syd’s, Richie’s, Carmy’s, and your faces in your pantry now. Eva shouldn’t be the only one allowed to have fun. Though snacking on all your cute little faces does make you feel like a slight monster.

Managed to get a good gift for Richie. Thank you Tiffanys. It was certainly an interesting moment when everyone tried to come up with lame excuses as to why they had to split up from the group to definitely totally not go get Christmas presents.

 Carmen’s knife guy wasn’t able to do engravings on such short notice, and you’re not the type to settle for less, especially not with Syd, so that’ll be a next year gift, it seems. You came up with a serviceable back-up while strolling through the MET— Which was a mostly fun field trip, it was very inspiring. You all could've done without Richie's pretentious prattling about postmodern absurdist dadaism. Mostly because you're pretty sure half of it was wrong; but still a good trip, all told.

Still lost on what to get Carmen… You’ve got a week, it’s fine. You’ve done more with less before. How do you subtly ask a guy, ‘hey, what the hell else do you like besides your job?’ You’ll figure it out. Figure it out like you figure out everything else, like you always do. Hopefully.

It's Monday. You've got a week. It's fine. Stop looking at your phone. This is such bad timing. This is awful fucking timing. You’ll figure it out. Stop looking at your phone, stop looking at the texts. Do the Connections, send it to Carmy, he already sent his, be normal… Just such bad timing—

At the very least if you can't bear to look away from the life ruining texts, just shut your phone off. You’ve got to stop ruminating or you’ll rot in bed forever. And you really have to get out on time, today. 

“God wants me to kill myself—” Gratitude. Express gratitude.

The drive back went ‘well’. Everyone had their licenses so the squad took shifts either driving or sitting on the uncomfortable console. Or, in your case specifically, sitting half on Carmen’s lap in shotgun on occasion despite the many complaints from Syd and Richie. You had a good excuse! Neither of you slept for the entire trip just to work on the cocktail and coffee menu. It was practically a sacrifice! It was just easier to sit up front together, okay!? You had to be close, you were scribbling ratios and drawings of glasses into a stolen notepad from the Holiday Inn with pencil crayons bought from FAO Schwarz—

Oh, hey, put that on the gratitude scoreboard, that was another thing that went well. Pretty cool to go to the oldest toy store in America. Might not have gotten the chef in your life anything yet, but the kids in your life are covered— You’re winning best Aunt for sure.

Oh, huge highlight— Didn’t say love you, like some idiot. Got away with that by the skin of your teeth, honestly. Hard to stare up at the Rockefeller Christmas Tree next to the guy and not blurt out something fucking stupid. Thank God for Syd, who stomped on your foot when you seemed a little too doe eyed.

With great pain and bemoaning, you finish expressing gratitude, which hasn’t helped much. You slam your phone screen down on your nightstand and roll out of bed. 

Today’s Monday. Today’s your first day at The Bear. Today that is the priority and there is nothing else to worry about.

You signed your contract last night. Talked to Syd for hours about it, planning next steps and goals and classes and budgets and a million other things. You’re both a little easily excitable, when it comes to lists and plans. Watching you sign yours gave her the ‘confidence’ to sign hers, if you can call it that. Not like you knew she needed the help, though.

“I love my life, I love my life, I love my life…” If you keep saying it while washing your face in the bathroom, it’ll become true, right? …Where’s Sara’s card again?

The Bear doesn’t run service on Mondays, so it’s a good day to do onboarding— Good day to do R and D. …What does one wear to R and D? Don’t need the serving uniform. Don’t need to dress up. Don’t need the jumpsuit… This is the first time you don’t need a uniform and that is bizarre.

You’ll wear your dad’s flannel, at least. Feels illegal to not wear the patch worked flannel. But besides that, you’re just a normal… restaurateur… part of the team…

Your hand hovers over where your necklace sits, in the small jewellery box on your vanity. “Mikey, if you want me to keep wearing it, make my ceiling cave in or some shit.”

You give it ten seconds and nothing falls. With a curt nod to no one, you pick up your book bag filled with loose tools and the menu filled notepad. Leave your bedroom, put your shoes on, grab your keys out of your clay dish tray on the way out.

It’s snowing.

That’s a lot of stuff falling, so to speak.

That’s basically a sign. That’s basically what you asked for.

You head back in, grab the necklace, hook it over your neck, and tuck it under your shirt. Baby steps. You head back out.

…And then soon after, head back in— Forgetting one of the most important things you need today. “The fucking glass, goddamn it!”

There’s a chance that today might be a little bit of an off day for you. No one’s gonna notice that, though.

“Mikey, why didn’t you tell me? You want me to look stupid on my start day, don't you? Fucker.”

You’re good. You’re you. You figure shit out. You’re compartmentalising perfectly and no one’s gonna be able to tell that you’re internally scrambling to figure out where you're gonna live once your lease gets terminated.

“ ‘Sup with you?” Okay, so Tina did immediately notice upon opening the back door for you. She tries to help you with the huge sheet of plexiglass you’re carrying, but you wave her off, stumbling further inside The Bear. Thankfully it’s a slow start to the morning, so the walk way is clear for your fumbled steps.

“I got it, T, just spot me—”

“Woahwoahwoah—” But alas, immediately Carmen is rushing over, making a big deal over nothing, “Fuck are you doin?” And grabs the thick sheet of glass from you. “Wait by your car next time, why do I gotta keep tellin’ you?”

“I am very capable—” You grunt, but you’re relieved when he takes the weight off you. You nod to the table in front of expo. “Put it on the island.”

“What’s it for?” Carmy asks but he follows direction without hesitation.

“Syd’s idea.” You walk with him, sidling up to Syd who’s already stationed up on the island with what looks like way too much paperwork for Chefs. You bump her shoulder as a greeting, she bumps you back. She lifts up the stack of papers and you pick up her deli container of Coke and ice, letting Carmen slide the glass onto the table.

“Unless it’s bad—” You correct, putting the cup down and digging through the tool bag on your shoulder for the right parts. “If you hate it, then it’s my idea.”

Syd snorts next to you, putting the papers back down on top of the glass. “Nice save.”

“What’s your idea, Chef?” Carmen taps his fingers against the glass, bemused.

You finally fish out two lock hinges from your bag, gesturing to them with a little flair like you’re Vanna White as Sydney explains. “For R and D. Thought since we’re like— Constantly changing shit and needing to review, it’d be like, useful to have a whiteboard— But those are huge and inconvenient for a restaurant— Duh— So—”

“Glass!” You come in with the assist as she rambles on. “On hinges— These one’s lock so you can have the glass sort of tilted up like an easel, or on the station— And then when you start service you can just flip it down off the counter for the night. Easy!”

“And—And—” Like a TV ad, Syd points out, “We can put paper under it and still be able to see— So it’ll make editing clearer— I-I think.”

Carmen always takes a nerve-wracking amount of time to think through other’s ideas, but once he nods, you both breathe easy. “Smart idea. Thank you, Chefs.”

You just smile, and this seems to bother Carm. Or at the very least, something is bothering him, as he frowns. “You got a second?”

Your brows furrow, for a moment, worried. You nod, putting your tools down. Glass can wait. “Always.”

Carmen comes around the counter, before he pulls you aside, Syd whispers over your shoulder, “Trouble in paradise.” Making you snort. When has it ever been paradise?

The two of you lean across from each other in the doorway of Carmen’s office, not quite in, not quite out. He looks worried, and his worrying is making you worry. He’s first to say something, concerned hand on your shoulder.

“Are you good?”

Fuck, he caught you too? “Hmm? Yeah, I’m good, do I not—”

You’re halfway through your response when he interrupts, he seems even more panicked by your words. His hand abandons your shoulder. “Right— Stupid, stupid fucking question— I just— Sorry—”

“Woah—” You grip both his shoulders, rubbing down his sleeves lightly. “Are you good, Carmy? You’re right, sweets. You caught me. I’m a lil’ off today. What gave me away?”

“Right, yes— You’re nice.” He’s saying it more to himself than you, like he needs to remind himself. Even so, it still hitches your heartbeat. “I— I’m good, I was just—You didn’t text me back this morning.”

“Oh.” You say it so breathlessly, with relief. It’s cute that that’s what’s got him freaking. “Sorry, yeah, I’ve been trying to not look at my phone, I just got some…” You shake your hand in the air for effect. “Bleh news. Put a wrench in some things for me, that’s all.”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Ah—” You shake your head, waving it off, “Too much to get into. Later, though?”

“Yeah, yeah. Whenever you want.” He nods. “Ah, I wanna get into uhm—” Carmen snaps his fingers a few times, finding the words. “Get into drinks, today. I made all the concentrates and syrups ahead of time—But Uncles gonna come in first with The Computer to go over some numbers shit— Should be here in thirty?”

You nod, squinting. “Is it like… A special computer or something?”

“Computer is a guy.” Carmen says, while Syd yells the same in tandem with him, “Why wouldn’t he be!?” Walking past you both as she carries produce out of the walk-in.

“Why wouldn’t he be?” You grin, reiterating. Your smile soon sobers though, as you finally notice a giant silver blob of machinery behind Carmen. “Baby, what the fuck is that?” 

You’re already walking past him, quickly winding up all over again. It’s a gorgeous espresso machine— “It’s an Ascaso.” Explains Carmen. “It’s the best.” And it’s sitting exactly where your beautiful beat up mistake of a heavily-stained coffee machine used to be. 

“Baby, baby, baby—” you’re looking above and below the station for your rusted companion, hushed and panicked. “Don’t tell me you threw away the old one—” 

“You want the old one?”

Richie’s timing is perfect, as he walks in from front of house, and even from just hearing the last sentence, “Fuckin’ told you, Carm.” He knows the context. He keeps walking— On a mission, seemingly.

“I’m grateful— I- I am.” You kneel down and shove some mixing bowls aside to see if it was tucked in the back of some shelf— It’s not here. She’s not here. “New is good— New is nice— I’ll learn how to use the new one— I will— But— I— I need the old one— You didn’t throw it away, did you?” 

When he stays silent, you turn and look up to Carmen from where you’re crouched on the ground, pleading. “Tell me you didn’t.”

“I— I—” The Chef is nearly sweating from this line of questioning alone. “It— It barely worked—”

“I know it didn’t! That’s the point!”

He blinks. You just seem to be saying all his trigger phrases, today, huh? “That’s the point?”

“I knew how she worked.” You push yourself back up onto your feet. “It’s got an espresso function that doesn’t work, if you tamp the basket the basket literally breaks off so you have to hold it and burn your hand a little— You have to hold the hot water button at the same time as the grind button for some reason or it won’t dispense— It’s literally a fucking nightmare— I covered it in like ten sticky notes of instructions at one point and they became pointless because no one but me was willing to use it. And— And I’ve got it memorized.”

“...And you want that?”

“No one’s gonna know how to take care of her, she’s my baby!” You gesture, albeit a bit too dramatically, speaking with your hands. “If you throw her away or donate her, no one’s gonna take the time to figure it out— They’re just gonna think she’s broken but she’s not, she works! She just needs the right hand!”

A dull silence falls between you, as Carmen purses his lips, squinting. There’s an ever slight chance your ‘I’m totally fine’ facade is cracking. “...Are you sure you don’t want to talk about your thing right—” 

“I’m good!” “...Okay.” “Did you get rid of her?”

“Relax, Handy!” Carmen does not say this. 

You grimace, looking behind Carmen to see Chi-Chi yelling from around the bend, in The Beef’s corner territory. Looking over him with the blue apron calling you your least favourite nickname by far— Well, second least favourite, only to— “She’s over here, Jack-Off. More our speed than rich boy’s ack - queso bullshit…” It’s nostalgic. Bad nostalgic but nostalgic. 

He slaps the top of the machine, you and Carmen both wince as a random spigot falls off it. Chi-Chi clicks his tongue, staring at it in silence. “...Refresher would be good, though.”

You’re already walking back to your damaged darling, patting Carmen on the shoulder as a form of goodbye, he pats your hand back. You don’t get to see him smile, as he watches you get to work. “Don’t fuckin’ call me Jack-Off and don’t touch her, I’ll show you, I’ll break your hand Cheech, I swear—”

The man in question shrugs, a devilish and terrible smirk on his stupid face. “Ey, love a woman in charge. Show me the ways.” 

Even on your most off days, working with The Beef will always be second nature for you. Even when the space is significantly more cramped than it used to be. 

You rewrite directions on how to use the coffee machine while showing them to Ebra and Chi-Chi. Ebra tends not to learn new tricks, so he stops listening by the time you get to syrups. That’s fine. No one ordered syrups in their coffee at The Beef back in the day all that often either.

Mikey really shouldn’t have invested in all those syrups back then. He really only did it for you and the staff. To be fair, when he did convince regulars to try your coffee they always changed their tune. The people don’t know what they like yet. They will like this. You were his proof that that idea was true.

“You gotta toss these, Boss. Slows you down.” You overhear Cheech saying behind you. You turn to see his arm on Ebra’s shoulder, holding the small blue baskets for sandwiches in his other hand. “Just the wrapping is fine. These people are gonna throw this shit out anyways, waste of plastic.”

Cheech turns his head to you, “Right, Handy?”

“...Don’t call me Handy.” Don’t freak out about throwing the old stuff away. Don’t freak out about throwing his old stuff away. You shrug, looking at Ebra over your shoulder. “Maybe just offer them, if they ask for one?”

“Y’know what the people are asking for, babe?” Cheech sucks his teeth, pulling Ebra closer, who looks nonplussed. “They’re asking where the nearest brick is to throw through our window. This rich people shit is getting on their nerves.”

You sigh, eyes flitting to Ebra for confirmation. “Yeah?”

He shrugs, nodding. “Ninety-eight percent, Jack-Off.” Cheech and the gang have been a terrible influence. How are you going to undo this?

“C’mon, E…” You scoff, but nod as you turn around, arms crossed. Gesturing with the frother as you do. “Well, I’ll make note of that. Now back to the fuckin’ hand frother, Cheech?”

“I know how to crank it, Handy—” “I swear to fucking God—”

“Ey!” Tina comes up to your corner, smacking the back of Chi-Chi’s head with a hand towel when she does. “Don’t talk to the baby like that, clean your mouth.”

He puts one hand on the back of his head, hissing, and another up in front of him, in defense. “Ey, T, it’s all love, aright? Playing!”

“Yeah well, you’re not gonna wanna play wit’ this one. ‘Specially not now—” She nudges you, smiling that coy ‘I’m about to blow up your spot’ smile.

You grimace, attempting to interrupt her. “T, don’t—” “That she’s Jeff’s.” “—Goddamnit.”

“Oh! Oh shit!” Cheech laughs, delightfully shocked. “You finally closed on Charmin’? Congrats—” It’s a blessing and a curse that Carmen, the guy you only ever saw in photos and heard in stories that you had a very minor and not vocal crush on, is now your… boyfriend? Undetermined.

You wave a hand in his face, “Shut the fuck up—”

“So where should I send flowers?”

You hate this family. “For the record, I have not closed shit.”

“What’s closing?” Tina takes a half step back, surveying your face, it doesn’t reveal anything. “What’s that? Gramps?” She turns her question on Ebra, who shrugs, equally as old and unknowing. 

“Well Jack-Off’s a little Mother Mary for my taste—”

You scoff, “So not true, for the record—” but Chi-Chi continues his tirade. “So I suspect she just means they haven't had the ‘are we datey-wating carmy baby?’ talk.”

You all but growl, crossing your arms as you wait for the second tutorial coffee to finish dispensing from the beloved whirring machine behind you. You can get the fuck out of here as soon as it’s done, and you’re praying that’s soon, because this interrogation is about to turn terrible. “We are currently unlabelled, if that’s what you’re trying to say.”

Tina kisses her teeth, poking at your shoulder. “Richie told me you spent the whole wedding together and you come back with no label?”

You sigh, composure falling apart. You are not ready for a mother’s disappointment. “We talked out a lot of important stuff—” “Mija, that is important stuff!”

“I just— We’ll talk eventually—” 

Chi-Chi conveniently interrupts you when it looks like Tina’s about to go off into a full rant on the downfall of romance in modern relationships. “So you’re still on the market, Handy?”

“For you?” You smile, then drop it. Pushing your hand against his forehead. “Never. Now froth the fucking milk.”

He mumbles an endless series of expletives, but gets to work. You give him a quick tutorial on the hand frother— You fought hard for the old machine, but you are overjoyed to see an automated steamer and frother on that Ascaso. That part is gonna be a dream. You can make so many new drinks for Carm— The menu. 

When you finish, you take the latte from Cheech to hand to Tina; and when you do, you catch her looking… off. She’s staring at the piled up diner baskets, next to the unused napkin dispensers. 

You put your hand on her shoulder, massaging it lightly. “You good, T?”

Your hand shocks her back into reality, “Yeah, yeah, I’m good, baby.” It takes her a second to remember where she is. She takes the latte, nodding. “I’m good. You good?”

“I’ve got my complaints.” You shrug. “But nothing I won’t survive.” Probably.

Tina takes a sip of her coffee, continuing to nod. She wants to dig deeper into your thing, you want to dig deeper into hers, but the painful groaning from the front of the kitchen, “And when did I fuckin’ greenlight this?” interrupts both your trains of thought. Uncle Jimmy tends to have that effect.

With a knowing nod, you walk together to the front, leaving Ebra and Cheech to continue experimenting with the coffee machine before they open their side of the restaurant. 

You watch from the sidelines as Carmen defends his choices, “The old one was shit, she was burning her hands on it. She’ll need the three groups to keep up.” and you’re able to quickly glean they’re talking about the new espresso machine.

“Okay, I hear that,” Jimmy nods, “but why the fuck did it need to be ten grand?”

“Ten?!” You can’t help but shout, you slap your hand over your mouth. Budget is none of your business. But fucking ten? You part your fingers to mumble through your hand,  “Sorry, continue.”

Carmen cares too much about your drink menu. Berzattos tend to invest too much into your special interests. Though this time, instead of syrups, and in addition to a 10k coffee machine, you see on the stainless steel table your shared sketches laid out alongside all the ingredients needed– Including the concentrates, whips, and other compounds Carmen made ahead of time for you. He’s so sweet. God, you love him. God, that’s disgusting. They have all, of course, been haphazardly shoved aside though, to make room for The Computer’s— Computer. Carmy’s nonplussed by that fact, it seems.

Jimmy gestures to you, deadpanning to Carm. “See, Chip understands the power of the dollar.”

“I’m not involved.” You add, waving your hand, it’s a terrible moment for your favouritism to shine through. Though you do enter the radius of this trainwreck of a quarterly review, kneeling down by the kitchen island to finish what you started with the plexiglass and hinges. “Ignore me, continue.”

The men stand on either side of you, as you bolt down the hinges. Carmen brushes off the dollar comment with a simple, “It’s the best.”

Why do you need the best? You think; Jimmy concurs with your brain, speaking for both of you. “Why do you need the best?”

The question seems to make no sense to Carmen. He freezes, blue-screening. “Cause—”

You duck your head under the counter at just the right moment— Or just the wrong moment? Because you don’t get to see Carmen looking down at you, then back up at his uncle. “Because.” 

You don’t see Uncle Jimmy practically roll not just his eyes but his entire body back into himself, witnessing the puppy love that is going to ruin his credit score. “Chip…”

When you slide yourself out from under the counter, Carmen puts his hand on the edge of the counter to make sure you don’t hit your head— Because you have an awful tendency to do so. You’re too focused on the way Uncle Jimmy says your name like you’re in trouble to notice though. “What’d I do?” 

“You’re you.” Jimmy grimaces, shaking his head. It’s not your fault. Not completely. “F-Y-I– Your boss just cut your bar budget by ten grand.”

“Hm.” You squint, lips in a line. “And what do I do if the budget I was planning was just ten grand?”

“Well respect yourself more than that.” Cicero scoffs, arms crossed. “Take twenty, now you’re back to ten. You’re welcome.”

“Generosity knows no bounds.” You shake your head, laughing him off as you duck your head back under the counter. “Thank you, Unc.”

“Sorry, who exactly are we giving twenty thousand?” 

“Oh fuck—” Despite Carmen’s best efforts, you still manage to bump your head on the roof of the counter, alarmed by the new voice— The Computer, you assume. “Fuckin—Ow— Sorry! Y’know what, hol’ on, let me just finish up here—”

“It’s the drink budget. Tony’s the new mixologist.” Natalie answers for you. “And sommelier.”

“Ah,” hums The Computer. “She’s the one we’re paying Quarter-Master for?”

“Nah, that’s me.” Gary strolls by, calling out to wherever his manager has gone, “Richie, you find that book yet?!”

“I’m taking them too!” You finally pop your head out from underneath the counter, finished bolting in the hinges. “Apparently I need actual W-S-E-T certification and a bunch of memorized google searches, youtube videos, and wine review blogs do not legally make you a sommelier.”

“I think it’s impressive you made it this far on basically nothing.” Syd taps the top of your head, she’s the one who made the call on schooling. She looks to her co-owner. “Classes are coming out of the advanced.”

“So is this.” You tap the plexiglass, nodding up to Carmen as well. “You’re workin’ with like… A thousand left for pre-paid work?”

“Hm.” Carmen nods, looking at The Computer, and you turn your head to him too. “Did you account for that?”

“Did I account for a thousand dollars?”

Carmen shakes his head like a white flag immediately, hearing the sarcastic tone, “Alright, you don’t—”

“A thousand dollars does not take you out of the hole, man.” He’s right, but you don’t love the tone. He tilts his head, reading something off his screen. “Payroll is a little high, for a somme.”

“I don’t disagree—” You try to say, because yeah, your contract does have a weirdly high salary.

But Jimmy, Nat, and Carm all speak over you. “It’s not.”

“That’s not pay for a somme, that’s a pay for Chip, you don’t need to enhance on that.” Jimmy deads the topic then and there. “You’ll see. Just trust me. You were sayin’ somethin about tiny plants?”

“Microgreens.” Says Syd. 

“Yes. Do less of that.”

And you just watch, from the sidelines, as this crew flows into a bit of a repetitive we’re doing this, which gains the response, well stop. Do less, charge more, figure it out, duh, don’t duh– What’s that you’re hearing about a daily changing menu? Carmen seems to be the only one campaigning for it. At a point he just starts pacing, pointing at numbers on The Computer’s screen that he doesn’t understand but pretends he does.

You’ve got a million ideas, but it’s none of your business. It very literally isn’t your business, until Jimmy turns his head just so, grimacing at the non stop debate, to see you standing aside, arms crossed.

He sighs, beckoning you to the table, like it’s a witness stand. “What’s that fuckin’ face on your face, kid?” Oh, for the love of God, why are you so easy to read?

You pfft, shrugging. “I’m not makin’ a face—!” But you come forward nonetheless as he boldly speaks over you. 

“You’re makin’ a face,” — “This is just what I look like,” — “Y’know how I know you’re makin’ a face?” — “Enlighten me.” — “Cause it’s the same fuckin’ face—”

He takes this moment to point at the face on your face. “That your dad makes.” A man that gambles as well as Cicero is a man that knows your dad’s tells. And a man that knows your dad’s tells is a man that knows your tells. 

You bite down on your inner cheek, poorly pretending to be confused, shrugging again, “I dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Come off it.” “I’m not on anything, Unc—” “You’ve got a problem, say it.” 

“I don’t have a problem!” You have a lot of problems, but they can’t know that. That makes you judgy and pushy— You don’t know enough about the business to have an opinion. “I’m just observing, that’s all.”

Uncle looks up, to Heaven, to Mikey, and sighs the world’s heaviest sigh. It sounds painful. When he finally tilts his head back down to you, it’s to say, “C-K.”

“Cicero.”

“Y’know why I’m able to pour mas queso into this fuckin’ kid?” He loosely gestures in the direction of Carmen, who in response seems to bite down a lot of venom. It’s bad to think he’s pretty when he’s annoyed, isn’t it?

You tilt your head, “Honestly, I always assumed some sort of mob association.”

Jimmy holds back his laughter, it comes out as a disgruntled cough. He shrugs. “It’s because when I saw your dad at the table, makin’” —He gestures to you— “That fuckin’ face, I knew to pull back.”

“You don’t need to pull back.” Your reply is a touch too panicked and instant for anyone’s liking, makes it a little less believable. But Cicero smirks, and you know that face as well as he knows yours. Check. He’s got you. 

“Then speak on it.” And he pushes you forward, just slightly, like a slap of support on your back. You grimace, looking to Carm and Syd for permission to have opinions, and they both nod, like it’s obvious. With great hesitation, lips pressed together, you finally allow yourself to come off as judgy, opinionated, a fixer. 

“I think the chargers are kinda stupid.”

A plate no one eats off of, that they still have to clean, that’s on top of another plate? Definitely super necessary. Definitely not some rich people NOMA bullshit.

You look to Syd, apologetic. She shrugs, open mouthed, head tilted, “I– I mean, I didn’t invent them.” 

“It’s presentation.” Carmen nods, to himself. He doesn’t like to budge. “That first look at the table affects everything.”

“Yes.” You nod, directly across the counter from him. “I agree, I just think the plates are stupid.” 

“You got somethin’ better?”

“Think so.” You hum, tilting your body back to yell to the back of the restaurant. “Ay, Cheech! Pass me a fuckin’ basket!” 

It’s without hesitation that you hear, “Hut!” before even seeing the man. You see the blue basket being hurled towards you before you see the man. You catch it, albeit a bit clumsy, but you catch it. 

You toss the basket on the table. Everyone stares. You defend yourself before anyone even criticizes it, “Easier to clean than plates, because you just need to rinse the plastic. Ties together a colour scheme, costs nothing, they’re gonna be tossed anyways.”

“It looks cheap.” Carmen tuts, but he really does seem to be trying to hear out the idea, despite his reservations. 

“It looks purposeful.” You double down, leaning on the counter just so, “It carries a story, that we didn’t forget where we started.”

“Ooh.” Marcus, clocking in just in time, hums behind you. “Kind of a bar, Chef.”

“Thank you, Chef. Morning, Chef.” You fist bump him over your shoulder, not looking. Too focused on convincing the man before you, you let him think in silence for some time before asking. “Think on it?”

“No.” Carmen shakes his head, and you’re a little crestfallen, for a second. “It’s good. Let’s do the baskets, yeah—” He then remembers to ask for permission, he turns his head to Syd, “Yeah?”

“Yeah? Oh, uh. Yeah. Yeah. Baskets are good.” Syd nods to Nat. “Can you look into, uh—”

“Returning the expensive as fuck earthenware shit? Happily.” Nat is far too cheery upon receiving a paperwork rabbit hole of a mission. She brushes past you, excitedly whispering, “Please keep going.”

“Oh, uh—” Are you some sort of thought leader now? “Well, uhm, I think I heard you sayin’” —You snap your fingers at The Computer, “That R and D cost is a little high?”

“A lot high.” He corrects.

“Kid with crayons.” Jimmy tuts, “Need to pull back a little.”

Carmen’s screwing and unscrewing the cap of a mason jar— Marmalade, it’s for Syd’s drink. He made it this morning, it’s labelled down to the minute.  Just let him work on his fucking drinks menu, please God. He’s been dying for this moment and it’s being thrown off by this bullshit. 

He can’t keep biting his tongue, “Hey, uh, why don’t you just tell us to do everything a little bit less so we can skip this and get back to work, huh?”

You hear Uncle Jimmy inhale as preparation to verbally beat Carmen’s ass. You put one hand up in front of the old man’s face, the other hand grabs a dry-erase marker. “He didn’t mean it like that and he apologizes, Unc.”

“Does he now?”

“He does.” You drop your hand, focusing on lifting the glass panel, clicking the locks in place to keep it up. You nod to Carmen through the pane. “Right, Carmy?”

Poor Carmen nearly deflates, “...I’m tryna be the guy.” 

“Not what the guy does, baby boy.” You hum, uncapping the marker with your teeth. You turn your head to Cicero. “Guy had a lapse, he forgot you were his boss and just thought of you as family, so he spoke to you like family, cause he loves you, Unc.”

Cicero nods, tilting his head just so at Carmen. “S’that right?”

Carm manages to shake his head and nod all at the same time, “S’a facet.” 

“....Well, just don’t do it again.” A crisis is averted and an uncle is softened. 

“I love to see a family come together.” You hum, nonchalant, writing on the glass, ‘R & D - Cost: Bad’

“Bring it from bad to good.” The Computer notes very helpfully. “You can cut—”

“Hol’ on.” You put your index finger up, effectively shushing him, “Just think about it first. We don’t have to go straight to cutting. Let’s look at our options.”

“Your options are fucked.”

“Just—” You tut, rubbing the bridge of your nose, man, you really are becoming your dad right now. Loosen your grip, Jack. “Widen the scope. We cut costs through returning those chargers— How else can we ‘return’ shit? Carmy?”

Thank God you’re the guy, because Carm can’t hack it. “Heard? Yes?” And frankly, he doesn’t want to.

“What’s the main cost on R and D?”

“Supplies. Food— Y’know, lot of trial and error.” He nods to a bus tub filled with failed attempts over this morning’s session. But you like that, right? “Trying new things, y’know?”

“...Carmen.” He doesn’t answer, because he can hear he’s in trouble. He is staring at you stare at the tub in what seems like a sort of contemplative, serene, searing anger. “Sweetheart, are those four wagyu filets in a fuckin’ bus tub?”

“Yes, it’s got a blood orange reduction, but– But Syd suggested mint—” 

You don’t let him finish, “Is it poison?”

“It’s not.” “It’s edible?” “It is.” “Okay, so then, babydoll, why is it not being eaten?”

Syd winces from the sidelines, hissing under her breath, fist over her mouth. Carmen cannot help but notice. You’re perhaps… a dash upset.

“We can’t eat everything.” “Did you offer it to the crew?” “Yeah—” “You offered it to Nat, Unc, Cheech— All the servers? Or did you just offer it to the cooks?” “...Heard.” “Did you take a bite of all of these?” “Not all.”

You start writing on the glass again, explaining as you do, “Okay. So then uneaten food from R and D should be sold on one of those fuckin’ food waste apps— Too Good to Go, or somethin’. We advertise it to The Beef regulars, try to get the other side of our city to understand the finer things, prevent any brick through window incidents, how we feel ‘bout that?”

You remember small things far too well. You did make note of the rich people shit getting on The Beef customers' nerves. You make note of the people who live on your block, who cannot afford to eat here. You make note of the fact that Carmen resents subtracting with a passion now, so you find another way. He can still try new things, just needs to handle the results better. 

“...You keep a binder or somethin?” Is all Carmen can think to ask. 

“Steel trap memory.” You tap the cap of the marker to your head, “Good though?”

He nods, “Good.”

“Good.” You take a breath, dragging a hand down your face, practically coming out of a fugue state. Carmen knows your need to have something to do, just as much as him, so he slides the jar of fig marmalade to you from across the table. You take it happily, unscrewing the lid. You’ve also been dying to get to this menu.

But Richie comes up from behind, scratch and sniff wine book in hand— Didn’t Mikey get you that? It  was meant to be a gag gift but it’s actually quite useful. “Chip, can you also tell Chef Carmen the daily menu fuckin’ sucks?”

“Re-lax.” You sigh, pulling over all the ingredients and tools you need for Syd’s drink. “Syd told me ‘bout this though, daily pre fixe, or whatever it’s called?”

“It’s—” Carmen crosses his arms over himself, immediately defensive but trying his best not to be. “It’s an idea I’m floating, for now— It’s what the best restaurants do, and— And even if we don’t have full intent on getting a star, right now, it’s still important.”

“I just think…” You hum, trying to figure out the most delicate way to say it. “It doesn’t exactly give you the most room to collaborate or create—”

“The whole point of it is to collaborate and create—”

“Oh yes,” —As if waiting in the wings for this, Richie pops out behind you again, “What wasssit? ‘Vibrant Collaboration’ and ‘Constantly Evolve Through Eating My Own Head like a fucking ouroboros’.”

“Relax.” You hiss this time, putting a hand up in front of Richie. You can speak for yourself. “You don’t have time to be creative or collaborate when you’ve gotta make decisions in less than twelve hours.”

Carmen tries to defend, he gestures to the one good plate of wagyu with mint that came out of this morning, “But the—”

You nod and hum, knowingly. The sweet sound stops him. You already know the answer, but you ask anyway, as you scoop fig marmalade into your cocktail shaker. “Did you get to try the pop rocks thing yet?”

“Well, no, it’s not viable to perfect that in such—”

“A short amount of time, angel?”

“Oooh…” Richie mimics Syd’s movements, air whistling between his teeth as he takes a sharp breath. He gestures, standing behind you, staring at Carmen as he slides his thumb across his neck. He mouths, ‘Mad mad.’

Carmen’s two closest friends are freaking him the fuck out and one of them wasn’t even doing it on purpose. How do they know that? How can they tell that? Are you gonna break up with him? Are you even dating? This work together thing was a terrible idea—

“You don’t have time to be thoughtful about things, if you do an entire menu every day, you’re gonna have to cut corners on what you’re willing to experiment with.” You reword, more productive, better for his brain. “Plus, prix fixe is a fuckin— In—In my opinion, is sort of a lacking idea, maybe, for a new restaurant.”

Carmen’s willing to give up the daily rotation, he’s not so willing to give up the pre fixe. “It’s what the best restaurants do.” Carmen loves the word best, huh?

“Have those restaurants—” You bite your tongue from what was going to be an immediate catty response.

You try again, measuring out orange liqueur and lemon juice as you do so. “You’re thinking like a Chef and you need to think like a customer— A- A guest, for a second.”

Carmen gives you the floor, mostly because he cannot compute the command. You continue, “Let’s do a little roleplay, alright? Let’s say we’re just average people, not workin’ at The Bear, and we’re goin’ on a date.”

“When?” “...When?” “When is the date?” “No, I’m— It’s— This is hypothetical.” “Yeah but in the hypothetical.”

You shrug, clicking tongs together as you grab large chunks of ice for your shaker. “I dunno, Friday nights? We have like a Friday night date night.”

“Oh, so you’re doing good.” Richie hums, proud of this hypothetical you, “Weekly date night is a cornerstone.” 

“Moving on.” You elbow Rich behind you, shaker sloshing in hand, “I’m not a foodie, you are— In this hypothetical. You’re looking around at restaurants in the area for the date, you find The Bear— You find through their website with an improper hyperlink that the menu is,” —You list off on your free hand— “prix fixe, unavailable online, and changes daily so you can’t go off of reviews either. Also, it’s a new place, so you can’t really ask around for opinions.” 

“Right.” Carmen nods, as does Syd. Uncle Jimmy’s got that stupid smirk he gets when he sees his kids fall in line. You pour the ouzo over the ice, focus on the drink, not Carm’s mopey expression. 

“So, we probably wouldn’t go, right?”

Carmen keeps nodding, eyes downcast— Not upset, just can’t take feedback without keeping his head down. “Prob’ly not, yeah.” 

You pound the shaker shut, shaking it lightly in one hand as you try as hard as you can to sweetly explain. “People are open to like, two surprises on an outing. New place, new food— But they will need a set menu and they will need to have it available beforehand— And they’ll need to be able to choose.”

He looks like a cat in the rain, so you add, “But. Maybe we can do a daily special? Or weekly, depending on burnout, but like, y’know, a semi-frequent one new thing. And maybe on like, Valentines or some holidays we do a fresh prix fixe. That’s how some of the best places do it.”

Carmen’s eyes upturn, smiling with them, at that last part. “You do keep a binder.”

“Syd does. I just pay attention.” You shake your head. “She mumbled about it all night when we got back.” 

Adamu is immediately aghast, she should’ve realized ages ago, you were practically quoting her. “You said you couldn’t hear me!”

“No, I said you weren’t bothering me, and you weren’t.” You can’t hide your smile as you break the seal on the shaker. Syd sucks at sharing her ideas, but you’re happy to act as a good mouth for her good brain. “Hand me a lowball.” 

With a grumble, Syd walks off in search of  the lowball; while everyone does seem to agree this is best practice, Carmen does still seem a little sore about it.

“It’d probably also serve us well to do a seasonally rotating menu, right?” And so you throw him a bone. “Like Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall? Base it on what’s in season with local vendors?”

“What grows together goes together.” Tina says, nearly sing-songy. “Farmer’s market is rough though, Jeff.” 

“Fuck a farmer’s market— With love, fuck a farmer’s market.” Back to writing on plexiglass you go. “We gotta do vendors, maybe f’ like, eggs and dairy we can do farmer’s market, but it’s just not feasible. Maybe for holiday pre fixe or daily specials? But full stock, it’s just not— It’s not it. And I say that while having farm fresh eggs and local honey in my pantry, alright?”

Carmen agrees, like a bobble-head this guy. He nods to Tina. “That cool with you, T?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s cool with me.” Tina is a millisecond off to pipe in, which is really not noticeable– To anyone but you, that is.

“Why’s— Why would T not be good with that?”

“She’s in charge of farmer’s market.” 

“Hm.” You bite the end of the dry-erase marker. “T, would you be cool with rotating that, now and again?”

“Ooh?” She tilts her head, shrugging, “Yeah, yeah, kid. If you wanna take the reins.”

“Not me.” You return to scribbling on the glass board. You point at Carmen and Syd through the glass. “Them.” 

“I’ve paid my sous chef dues.” Says Syd, returning to the table with your glass. You tut, shaking your head. You refocus your vision from your writing to beyond the plexiglass, at them. 

“You need it for inspiration! You fuckers keep forgetting you like cooking, I need you to visit the farmer’s market once in a while to remind you.” You take the lowball glass and tong a few ice cubes in. “Non-negotiable. Heard?”

A soft, simultaneous, “Heard, Chef.” from your cats. 

“Good.” You strain the mixed concoction out of the shaker, into the lowball glass. It’s a very pretty peachy pink. You tweezer a slice of dried fig and place it on top. You grab a toothpick, stick it down the glass, pull it out, and taste the toothpick. Balanced, solid flavour, should be good.

You slide the drink over to Syd. “I can’t drink everything obviously, so first dibs goes to whoever the drink is based on— I don’t care who drinks it, just let me know if it goes down smooth.”

You also in turn hand Syd the recipe card and sketch, and you’re quick to move on as she reviews and sips away.

Ouzo. Dry anise tasting spirit. It’s got a licorice aftertaste, but oddly sweeter for it. It’s strong. Resilient. It’s made from remnants of unfermented wine grapes and a mix of other distilled and unused spirits. Better than the sum of its parts. It goes well with figs. Muddle it together with fig marmalade— Sweet yet earthy, spring-like. Orange liqueur to marry the flavours, lemon juice to brighten. Shaken, pour over ice into a lowball, serve with a dried fig on top.

Syd manages to reserve her reaction to a slow but repetitive nod, like entering deep space. She only comes back to reality when Richie reaches for the drink, wanting to try. She’s quick to pull it away from him, coveting the glass. 

“Ah… what else? Rapid fire.” You knock your head around, remembering what The Computer talked about, and in quick succession, you line up every problem and talk through them, possibly solve them— As best as a newbie can. At the very least, you open the floor to actual discussions as you make drinks all the while. 

“Opening a full sixth day I think will shoot us in the long run, especially if we ever get a kitchen plague going. Maybe we just open for half the day on Mondays going forward, try out breakfast? Stop booing me, I’m right.”

Richie’s. Also served over ice in a lowball. It’s similar to a whiskey smash. Nixing the mint. Whiskey bourbon— A good one, but not too good that it’s a sin to mix. Something with a cinnamon spice, that's warm all the way down, but never burns. Water it down a bit by stirring peach juice over the whiskey with ice for a brief moment. Float blueberry syrup on top. Add a toothpick, spearing two blueberries and one peach halve, balance it over the glass, for stirring. So the drinker can mix the blueberry syrup in and have a cute colour changing experience. 

“Wine pours, me and Gary got that. We can also just start charging by the bottle by default— Whatever works.” 

Marcus’. Simple but effective. A rum and coke ice cream float. Made complex by the fact that the ice cream is on a rotating schedule, based on whatever Chef Brooks is feeling that night and what’s in stock. Right now? Pistachio. So tonight it’s actually rum and seltzer, and it will probably continue to be rum and seltzer, based on the way Marcus’ eyes light up by the opportunity to get weird. More often than not, you’re going to need that neutral base. Served in a milkshake glass, because what else?

“I don’t understand why I couldn’t just grow these microgreens myself in house. They’re just plants you murder early, are they not? Am I missing something?”

Tina’s. Varied take on a spiked agua fresca. Fresh blended mango agua fresca— With ginger, of course. A healthy kick is a necessity for a mom drink. Sweetened with simple syrup, spiked with white rum, dash of agave bitters, top with coconut water. Served in a tall glass, because why would you skimp on portions?

“Why are we shipping flowers from New York? No, fuck that, go to Violet’s Violets— I fixed her cooler once, she falls in love and gives a discount to literally anyone who’s nice to her. Just send Marcus with some dessert and you’ll be set for life.”

And of course, Carmen’s aperol spritz. You go with the cherry syrup rim for now because it’s important to try. You’re almost certain it’s too much though.

“Napkins…” You rub your icy cold hands— From shaking up so many goddamn drinks— Over your eyes. “Why are we renting?”

“Buying is insanely overpriced.” Answers Computer. 

You nod, shrug, but nod, fingers tapping the glass, “Well, it’s like renting over owning right? It might be better to own because, y’know, you might suddenly get told by your napkin vendor, like, like years down the line, after basically paying for these napkins in full through rent, ‘hey, actually, we’re gonna jack up prices or just take those napkins back’ even though you’ve —again— Literally had them for years—”

“Chippy, are you good?” Richie tries to massage your shoulder, tries to break you out of the doom spiral, but admittedly, it was never his forte. Still isn’t. 

“We—!” Your voice hangs and is grating in a way it usually isn’t, ignoring the question. “We can produce our own napkins if we buy linens by the yard and hem ‘em ourselves. We—” You snap your fingers a couple times at Carmen, praying he backs you up. “We can even get The Bear monogrammed on them.”

“That sounds nice…” It’s Carmen’s turn to ease you off the ledge of insanity, gently. “It also sounds expensive, were you gonna do that?”

“Fuck no.” You’re quick to shake your head. “I fucking suck at sewing, my own jumpsuit is covered in my blood— No, my—” Oh. “Hold on.”

Your hand immediately goes for your back pocket, quickly pulling your cell-phone out, and dial one of your first starred contacts. Richie, over your shoulder still, sipping his blueberry and bourbon cocktail, excitedly mumbles. “Oh, put it on speaker.”

You’re annoyed before he’s even answered, knowing the headache you’re about to get. “Trust me, the first thirty seconds minimum will not need—”

“Hey!” It’s impossible to convey how earth shatteringly loud and drawn out his voice is, immediately upon answering. There may be eight seconds of the sustained vowel? Maybe more. Almost everyone flinches, par for Syd, Carm, and Rich. Though for all different reasons. 

A touch grating, in the same way your voice just was. Like father, like occasional daughter, you suppose. “Hey kiddo baby darling sweetheart angel princess—” Oh, he’s mad. The whole ‘slew of nicknames when you’re pissed off’ thing? Yeah, that didn’t start with you. “Did someone die? Because that’s the only reason my darling baby only daughter calls anymore!”

You sigh, immediately exhausted, putting your weight on one leg. “Y’know, once a month is honestly a lot of times a year for a fully grown woman to call their dad, on average. I absolutely call you more than my friends call their dads.”

Richie almost chokes and whispers over your shoulder, hesitant, internally preparing for a dreadful future. “Please tell me that’s not true.”

“Oh, and you should be so lucky that you have a dad to call! Cause I bet those friends are calling funeral homes, aren’t they?!”

“Dad—”

“I should have never taught you independence. Worst mistake of my life to teach you how to be your own person. Richard, never teach your kid how to use a screwdriver, it will be the last day you are a father.”

“Noted, Big C-K.” Richie goes for your dry erase to actually write it down, you pull it away from him. That’s gonna require a long talk down later. 

Carmen mouths to you, across the table, he meant to ask earlier when Cicero said it but there wasn’t time. ‘C-K?’

You mouth back, gesturing to the logo on your very own flannel ‘Chicago’s Kindest.’ He’s not the best with acronyms. 

“Oh— And thank you for bringing that up! And what’s this I hear about you cutting your hours with C-K? I hear this from Tony of all people ‘fore I hear it from you?”

“I got a long-term bartender gig that’s actually gonna keep my bills paid, alright? And I like it. Putting that mixology double trade major to good use. Cicero’s got stock in the place, actually.”

“How you doin’ C-K?” Cicero pipes in next to you, waiting for his moment.

“Ah… I’ve got my complaints. For one, my Jack keeps you more company than me!”

There’s a series of hums and haws, that weird uncle secret language of heavy exhales that manage to say more than any actual words they could say. 

You let the heaving run its course for ten seconds before cutting it short with, “Anyways, I’m still gonna keep the business running, just only in the mornings. It’s not like I brought in that much business anyway, I’m not pulling a foundation.”

“Everytime a small business dies, a rich man laughs, Jack!” 

“It’s not dying! It’s alive! It’s present and alive!” Don’t get flashbacks. “Anyways, speaking of small businesses, I need a favour—”

“Ooh, the truth comes out, princess calls cause she needs bail—” 

“For the love of God, let me get through a sentence, Pops!” You grumble, continuing. “Remember that overpriced monogram machine you bought for no reason?”

“It was not for no reason, it was invaluable because it saved my mitts from hand embroidering all those logos— And and— you have to remember—” You mouth the words along with him, mimicking him, because you know exactly what he’s going to say, “that it all starts in your community— And now you have like eight beautiful outfits, cause of me… And also it’s fun.”

“Well… If it’s fun, would you consider making some linen napkins?”

And it flows like ping pong, because your dad is a repairman— Well, former, but still. He’s simple. He handles negotiations simple. So do you.

“For who?” “Restaurant. The Bear.” “Why?” “Cause they need linen napkins.” “How many?”

You look over your shoulder to Richie, he does the math in his head pretty quickly, “Bout seventy to a hundred covers a night.”

“Six hundred.” “Pay?” “We’ll pay supplies, and I’ll give you like—” You look to Syd, expectantly. She has no answer, so you put your advanced on the line. “A thousand?”

“A thousand!? Less than a dollar a napkin! Is this pre-housing crisis?!” “I work here, okay?! Discount me!” “My God, princess, are you in love with the owner or something?”

That world feels like it's choking, but that's probably just you. You blow hot air out of your mouth, looking anywhere but Carmen. Refusing to see him even in your periphery. Refusing to see his blue screened but ever so slightly expectant expression. Well? Are you? …Or something?

After a long moment, you find a way to avoid the question. “Ah–Uh, Syd co-owns the place.”

“Oh, Adamu?!” 

Syd pipes in, leaning over the table. You hold the phone out for her. “H–Hey, Mr. CK.” She waves, despite the fact that it’s a phone call.

“Hey kiddo. Aw, what a sweetheart. Lead with her next time!”

“Alright!” You bring the phone back to your face— It’s remained off speakerphone this entire time, but he continues to yell loud enough for the table. “I didn’t realize you were best friends.”

“Of course we are. Y’know she brought me this uh– this salmon mushroom risotto the other night? Unbelievable.”

You squint at Adamu curiously, whispering. “You bring my dad food?”

She whispers in return, defensive. “He lives on my block, don’t be weird.”

“For her, I’ll do it for eight-hundred, okay kiddo? I know how tough it is to start up a business, can’t imagine trying to move on top of that.”

Your turn to blue screen. Moving? You’re immediately over the love thing. “...Pardon?”

“...I’ll do it for eight—”

“No– Yes, sorry, yes dad that’s great—” You arch the phone away from your face, focusing your attention on Syd. “Syd, you’re moving out?”

She sighs, “Trying to.”

“Pops.” You straighten up, not looking away from her. “I’ll call you back to sort details later, okay?”

“Sure. You also need to let me know holiday plans, are we going up to Oak Park or—”

Somewhat disrespectfully, you speak hurriedly, “Yeah, we’ll figure it out, love you, bye!” and hang up. Still locked on Syd, you ask. “When you tryna move?”

“Like, soon as possible.” She stretches out her shoulders. “My own dad is sort of… Encroaching on my space.” 

“Right.” Your eyes flicker with too many ideas, and you’re trying to temper expectations. “You wanna live by yourself?”

“I mean, I don’t really know anyone on the same timeline as me, with the same ‘low budget’ as me.”

The Computer attempts to interrupt the interruption of his review, holding a finger up, “And why are we talking about—”

But you hold the palm of your hand up, continuing on, “I need to move out asap and have a ‘low budget’.”

That’s Carmen’s queue to chime in, he loves your place. “What happened?” 

Also Richie’s, “What? Chip, your spot’s like a historical site, ya can’t move.” and this is generally agreed upon by a sea of dismayed voices.

“To make an extremely long story short, I don’t have a choice.” You wave your hand in the air, silencing murmurs. “My sweet old lady landlord— The only landlord I’ve ever respected, got bought out by a fuckin’ big business gentrification ass company— I’m not in a rent controlled zone so they’re gonna keep jacking the rent until I move out so they can tear it down and build a new spot— They also may or may not have found out that me and Loretta— My landlord— Haven’t exactly been keeping up to date on my lease.”

“Meaning?” Carmen knows the answer will be bad. 

But it’s somehow worse. “Meaning I pay my rent on time in cash and she texts me once a year saying ‘do you want to keep living here?’ and I say ‘yes’, and we continue on.”

“Well, hold up—” Richie holds a hand up, like he’s a genius. “Squatter’s rights?”

“I thought about going that avenue, but—” You gesture to Syd. “If you’re already moving, and looking for a roommate?”

She looks up and around, thinking about it. You decide to join her in the brainstorm, scooching yourself just an inch to the right, writing on free space on the plexiglass screen, ‘pros and cons’

“Pro.” You murmur as you write. “I have a better credit score than you.”

Syd sputters, half sarcastic. “Well, that’s just uncalled for.”

“It’ll give you more options for places! Better ones! Ones with in-unit laundry!” You defend.

“In-unit laundry…” “Your eyes just lit up in such a sad way.” “Con. You are an ass.”

“That’s a pro. A real con would be that I have a lot of plants and if I ever go on vacation I’m gonna need you to take care of them, and I’m not gonna have a binder for you, because I water them based on vibes, and if I come back and they’re dying I’m gonna be pissed off and very passive aggressive about it.”

“Violently honest.” “Pro. Mostly direct. Aside from when I’m not.” “Con. I’m not direct.”

“Con. That’s fine but if I get the idea that you’re mad at me I’m gonna act really weird about it until you reassure me that everything is okay and you don’t want to throw me out the window.”

“Yeah. Con. Same.”

“Pro. I’ve lived by myself for a while, which is good to have when you’re moving out of your parents for the first time. Con. I’ve lived by myself for a while, and I’m very used to the lifestyle of big t-shirt no pants, I’m not giving that up.”

Now that one takes Syd a second to unpack, “But, but like, underwear though, right—?”

“No shit I wear underwear!”

“Okay! It’s important to note!”

“Don’t be weird.” Richie grumbles behind you, solidly directed at Carmen.

Who’s whole face really just scrunches up in confusion. “‘Don’t be weird’? You don’t be weird.”

“I’m not bein’ fuckin’ weird—” “Then why are you up in my shit—” “Up in your shit? Oh wow—” “Fully not what I was referencing—” “Don’t be weird, cousin!” “I literally— I did not even move— Not a single cell in my body—” “And— And you only know that ‘cause you had to lock it down, you dog—”

“I don’t remember having kids, why the fuck am I in a Kindergarden?” Uncle Jimmy interrupts.

“I’m just takin’ care of my boy, Unc.” Richie raises a hand in defense, feigning innocence. “Can’t be too careful.”

“You super can, and you super are.” You grimace, elbowing him again. “And also, not important–!”

“Actually, no, very important.” Syd of all people interrupts. “Non-negotiable, like you can’t— …Like you— …When I’m home it’s like— Don’t—” Ah.

You roll your eyes and save her before she just about breaks out in a feverish sweat. “Syd, I wasn’t planning on it. That’s like roommate rule one.”

“Syd.” Richie points to his own eyes, then to hers, ‘watching you’. “Don’t be weird.”

“What the fuck—”

“Everyone shut up, pros and cons—!” You shout, gaining the attention back. “Pros. I have a car, we work at the same place, I have all the furniture for a living room already,  you'd never have to wait for a landlord to fix something ever again, and I could probably do a bunch of D-I-Y renter friendly projects, if you wanted.”

“...Oh my god, a French-door pantry.” “I think I could swing that.” “Pros. You’ll never have to cook again. I guess that’s my only pro, actually.”

“Con. I have been feeding the cat on my fire escape for like a year and if I’m moving I am going to have to adopt her, so we’re gonna have a cat. She’s cute, she has five toes on each paw. Something dactyl, it’s called.”

“What’s her name?” Squid’s not excited per se, but she’s not saying no. 

You shrug. “I never named her, let’s name her together.”

“No, that’s too much pressure—” “No, you’ll do great—” “What do you mean I’ll do great—?” “Three–” “Oh like together together? No! What—?!” “Shut up, just do it, head empty, two—” “No! I’m just not gonna say any—” “Yes you will, Squid. One!”

And together, perfectly in sync, like it was planned all along, you both say on queue, “Calamari!”

“There we go.” You write ‘Calamari’ on the plexiglass. “That’s my girl— That’s our girl, actually. I’m still not sure if she’s a girl.”

You click your tongue against your teeth, knocking your head back and forth in thought as you look at the scribblings on the glass. “Non-negotiables?”

Syd leans forward on the table, chin propped up in her hands. “I need forty-five minutes of bathroom time at the beginning of the day.”

“...Do you have a fuckin’ lactose intolerance?” “It’s my me time!” “Alright! Fuckin’ fifty minutes of toilet time for Syd. Ah, I need east facing windows… and uhm…”

Syd stares at you, and alas, she can tell, “You have a big non-negotiable…”

“It’s not that big… It’s more a group thing than a roommate thing, really…” “What is it?” “I think… It would be fun… If we all started playing Dungeons and Drag—” 

There’s an immediate, staggeringly loud array of groans, you’re still writing it down nonetheless, all the while defending, “I honestly think a little roleplay and math would fix you assholes! I really think it would! I’ll D-M, I’ll make it so easy— Please?”

Syd grimaces, but inevitably nods. “Y’know what, you’re never gonna get a concrete schedule for that down, and no one else is gonna agree so yes, sure from me.” Still a win. 

“Okay.” You hum, capping the marker. “So… Aim to move first of February? You down?”

It takes some time, and you realize as Syd’s brain frozen, that you might be overstepping. “Sorry, that’s going too fast, you think on it—”

“...I’m down.” You make it very easy for her to say yes, by giving her the option to say no. “Yeah, let’s do it. February. I’m down.”

“I’m so happy for you two, but I’m still fuckin’ reeling— Chippy, it’s– it’s— So many memories—” Richie’s being overly dramatic on purpose, hand on your shoulder, really laying on the vocal fry in his voice; but it is true. “I mean, come on, first time I’d ever been stabbed was on your block.”

“Sorry, what?” Carmen was having fun watching his two favourite employees figure out they’d be perfect roommates. He loves to be a fly on walls around you more than he’d like to admit. Richie managed to ruin it with one line. “Stabbed on your block?”

“Yeah,” You suck the air between your teeth, trying to think of some sort of white lie, but slowly shake your head, “I— Yeah, there’s no real way for me to down play it, I was so fuckin’ scared.”

“You were tweaking!” Richie laughs, clapping his hand against your shoulder, to him it’s a charming story— You’d probably be laughing too, if Carmen didn’t seem so… unpleased, let’s say. “You fuckin’ thought I was gonna die!”

“You fucking were!” You slap Rich’s hand away. “It was so close to a cerebral artery— First and last time I’ll administer stitches in my fucking kitchen, hand to God—”

“What’s the story?” Oh, new face from Carmen you haven’t seen before, bewildered annoyance, you’d describe it as, it’s going in your bottom five. “You live in a bad neighbourhood?”

“It’s rustic—” You try, but Richie opts to speak on your behalf. “Oh, Chip lives in a terrible neighbourhood, Cousin. You’ve been there, haven’t you?”

“Yeah but it didn’t seem that bad— No— Hold on, go back, stabbed why?”

“So I heroically defended a boy from crooked—” Richie tries, but you opt to speak on his behalf. “Richie was helping me bring up groceries, we saw some highschoolers shaking a kid down, Richie tried to break it up, one of ‘em stabbed him with one of those shitty switchblade comb things.”

“You got stabbed by a kid?” Syd snorts, but immediately regrets it because she has perfectly set him up for—

“Yeah, and wouldn’t be the last time, would it?”

“Richie, c’mon…” You reach up, patting the guy’s shoulder. “It was an accident and she apologized—”

Richie just raises his eyebrows, interrupting with a simple, “Mm-mm.” 

And so yours raise in tow, “...Fuck you mean ‘mm-mm’?” And your head turns to Syd, alarmed. “Syd, you apologized, right?”

Her mouth just sort of hangs, sputtering noises do come out of it, but nothing that strings a sentence together. You grow more agog, repeating again, astonished, nearly laughing from the shock, “Syd?! You apologized, right?! And told him it was an accident, right?”

Syd takes a beat, but she gets there. “I— I. Am. Sorry I stabbed you by accident, Richie.”

“Hm.” Richie crosses his arms, considering, mostly sarcastically. “Yeah, I’ll take it, I guess. Would’ve liked a card.”

“I am not getting you a card.” “I’m jus’ sayin’ I’d’ve liked one.”

Carmen’s still five steps behind, “Are you gonna be fine living there? In January?”

You choke back a laugh, because this is how men try to show they care, one must imagine. “I’ve been fine for the past handful of years living there, I think I’ll be fine for another month, sweetheart.”

“Crime is bad in January.”

“I was a first responder, and I know that’s not true.” You shake your head, shirking off laughter. “It’s actually in the summer that you see shit go down. Again, I will be fine. But you are free to visit.”

“Point of order.” The Computer finally pipes up again— Might’ve forgot he was here, if you’re honest. “What are we talking about anymore?”

“Point of order— I feel like numbers— Talking numbers is great but it’s all just like— Paper, y’know?” You unlatch the plexiglass, gently settling it back down on the table. “We should be talking more.”

Tina nearly whistles in agreement, nodding by your side. “Heavy that, Jeff.”

“That’s what I’m sayin’, like—” You snap your fingers to the rest of the crew, hand moving to and fro to point at everyone, “Did y’all know until right now that Syd was moving? …No, right? Let’s like— Fuckin’ remember to check in, like y’know, family, Chefs.”

And without calling her out, you can feel Tina’s demeanor next to you change, relaxed. 

“Heard, Chef.” Is the agreement from the crew, however, The Computer nor Cicero seem convinced, so with a sigh, you put on your most authoritative voice.

 “Y’know. Three Cs! Caring cuts costs!” A phrase no one has ever said, but it sounds legitimate when you put it like that. That gets them to acquiesce. 

Thank God, Marcus helps you move the conversation along, “...What’s everyone doing for the holidays?” Alas for both of you, the silence is deafening. “...Or not.”

You volley back for him, “If no one has hard plans I was thinking of having a lil’ Holiday party? Nothing big. Sort of a ‘goodbye old apartment’ party? Come by after you hang out with your families or whatever?”

“Not gonna go up to Oak Park?” Rich leans one arm on your shoulder, nursing his whiskey cocktail in the other. 

“Meh.” You shrug, attempting to push him off you, but he doubles down. “We’re not so intense about holidays since everyone’s aged. I’ll visit my nephew on New Years.” 

“I’m doin’ Eve with Eva, but I’ll be free on the day. I’ll come by. We doin’ gifts?”

“I mean I got you something, so,” You tap the bottom of his glass as Rich takes another sip, making him flinch. “Catch the fuck up.” 

Syd pipes in, sniffing. “Me and my dad only celebrate on Christmas Eve now, so I’ll come.”

“Incredible. Two down.” You gesture to Marcus and Tina across the table. “You guys? Tina I assume you’ve got a loving family and shit?”

Tina smiles and nods, rightfully proud. “I do have a loving family and shit, but maybe I’ll come by late with them too?”

And Marcus tacks on with her, “I’m gonna be with my mom most of the night, but I’ll come through for a couple hours.”

“Perfect, perfect. Invites open to any plus ones as long as you text me first!” You hum, writing names down on the glass board. It’s kind of a nightmare of different lists at this point. “Richie, can you make sure Fak and Sweeps get the invite?”

“Yessir.”

“And us!?” Shrieks Cheech in the back, who really shouldn’t be able to hear you, he should be in the zone, slinging sandwiches.

You yell back without turning to him. “Yes, fucker, you and E can come, if you want! No fuckin’ plus one for you though!”

“Oh come the fuck on, Jack-Off!”

“Oh, make me a fuckin’ sandwich, big man!”

“Oh, I’ll make you a fuckin’ sandwich!”

“Oh, my dick!” A response that makes no sense, consistently the perfect bookend. You sigh, and finally, your eyes flit to the most terrified two in the room. “Berzattos… Holiday plans?”

“I think we’re gonna do dinner on Christmas Eve, and then the morning together? Well, I am.” Sug hesitates, she’s looking between Uncle Jimmy and Carmen. “I was gonna ask what Carm’s plan is…”

“I’ll go. I’ll go.” Carmen has to stop himself from biting the skin off the tips of his fingers. “I’ll go. And I’ll come to the party, after.” 

“I’ll probably just go home with Pete after. Baby’s first Christmas, y’know.” Natalie hums and nods awkwardly. There’s a question both of them want to ask. Neither of them are brave enough to ask it. And while you can sense there’s something dancing in the air, you’re not going to overstep on this front. 

“Mazel. I can buy silly decor with reason now. …Now let’s talk about the important grievances.” You hum, happy to end that chapter.

You turn just slightly to gently slap Richie’s cheek as he stands next to you. “Rich, you need to line your beard up, this neckbeard shit is pissing me off—”

“What’s with the fuckin’ drive by?!” “It’s been on my mind forever— You can’t be wearin’ suits and then be rockin’ that unkempt shit, clean up—” “I’m clean! I’m fucking clean!” “Who said? Who fuckin’ said? Cause I sure didn’t!” “How’m I s’posed to be linin’ my shit up every mornin’—” “You do not grow a beard that fast—” “Oh fuck you, I’m not fuckin’ Carmen, I grow a fuckin’ beard.”

Carmen’s just surprised to hear his name out of any name come up. “What– Now that’s a fucking drive by, what the fuck?” 

“If we’re voicing grievances, I’d like to voice my fuckin’ complaint with Captain Crash-Out over here—” “Who the fuck is sublimating now?” “You’re not usin’ that term correctly, cause you’re not integrated—” “I thought you two worked this out on the road trip!” “We did!”

You only half regret starting this feud with the beard comment— To be fair, you’re right. “This is it working?” 

“This is, in fact, it working.” Syd confirms plainly, her disappointment more than apparent. Rubbing the tips of her fingers to her temples. The fight is out of her, at this point. 

“Alright.” You slap your hands together. “Richie, what is your complaint?” Are you just union rep now? You might be a union rep now. 

“Carmen is fucking killing me.” The cocktail swishes and nearly spills as Richie points at the Chef, emphatic. “He won’t change shit for guests!”

“No substitutions!” It’s almost cultish, the way Sydney and Carmen yell it out together. 

Richie scoffs, head reeling back. “What happened to it bein’ about hospitality?” 

“I mean…” You suck air through your teeth, squinting. “If we’re sayin’ no substitutions, it’s no substitutions— Unless it’s like an allergy or sensory thing— But even then, it shouldn’t be like a major component getting replaced.”

“See? See?” It’s almost maniacal, rabid, how delighted Carmen is that you’re on his side. “Fuckin’ thank you. This is why I lo—” 

Before Carmen can finish his sentence, Richie flails about to suddenly throw the peach and blueberry skewer from his drink at Carmen— Not the pointed side, he doesn’t want to stab the guy. Just wants to save him from running his mouth. The peach slice hits Carm’s chest as Richie stutters out, “F-Fuck you, fuck you, fine. No substitutions— What the fuck am I supposed to say then?” speaking over whatever syllables fell out of Carmen’s mouth, muddling them. 

You cock your brow, but Carmen seems to quickly let the childish toss go, more than eager to move on. So you do too. “...Say some bullshit like, like, The Bear encourages —uhm— explorative culinary experiences where you let your taste buds go beyond your limitations and comforts— So eat a fuckin’ mushroom, you’re not gonna die.”

“If they don’t like mushrooms—” “Then they shouldn’t order it!” “How hard is it to just fuckin’ switch it out!?” “So hard! So hard! I think! I could guess!”

“I could do it.”

“Could you?” You cross your arms, leaning your weight onto one leg, pivoting to Richie. “Okay, roleplay, you’re Carmen, I’m you—” Just as Richie opens his mouth, you hold your index finger to his lips. “I know you wanna be a bitch, I’m askin’ you to just skip that part for me.”

His shit eating grin is only a little endearing. “How am I supposed to be in character if I’m not allowed to be a bitch?”

You clench and unclench your hands in the air, but let it go, opting to move on to your little thought experiment. “Chef, patient—” Instincts never give out, huh? “Christ, patron doesn’t want mushrooms in their anolini, I need you to sub it.”

“Ah, well I’m happy to do that for you, Host Richie, I—” He’s going to go into some scathing spiel, and you love the guy, but you have to rub dirt in the wound for the lesson to stick. 

You speak over him, voice stern, “Chef. In order to keep pace, I need you to make this call in fifteen seconds, what are you subbing it for?”

Richie’s head shakes back and forth as he scrambles to get his brain to work.“Fuckin— Fucking– Eggplant.” 

“Eggplant?” You ask politely, tone unsure. Carmen asks it with you, tone ridiculing. 

“It’s a sauce isn’t it?” You squint, turning your head to the actual Carmen. “It’s like a really thick mushroom sauce stuffed pasta?”

He tilts his head from side to side, but nods. In gist, yes. “It’s a ragout. Low and slow cooked stew—” Carmy’s ready to rave about it and teach you every facet of the dish, but perhaps that’s too romantic for a public setting. God, he’s weird about love. “We keep it going on our back burners all day— It takes an hour minimum to make from scratch, you can’t just sub it.” 

“Yeah, well…” Richie stops himself short of getting snarky for no reason all over again, taking a second to think about it. “Well, I didn’t know that. You didn’t explain that shit to me.”

“I don’t have time to hold your fuckin’ hand—” Carmen stops short of getting catty when you give him a very soft and yet gutting disappointed look. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sniffing. “I can’t explain why I do everythin’ I do when I’m— When we’re in a middle of a rush, I just need you to trust when kitchen says we can’t do it. Trust that I thought it through.”

Richie has to control himself, has to make sure the corners of his mouth don’t upturn just slightly, has to make sure it’s not clear that he is overjoyed that there’s finally middle ground, can’t get his hopes up. He nods. “I just wanna make everyone happy, y’know?”

“I know. You’re—” Carmen’s nose scrunches up for a second, God, he’s never had to say that he think’s Richie’s good to his face. And he’s not gonna start now, “Eggplant would be a good sub, if we had time.”

Richie prods his tongue along the side of his cheek, thinking. “Maybe I could look into knowin’ restrictions faster and estimatin’ their orders, so you can have ‘em on deck?”

And Carmen does think that’d be a waste of time, but he’s learning. He hears it out. “Could give it a shot, yeah.”

“Same team.” Richie reaches across the counter, and Carmen actually takes his hand, a quick dap. Civil.

“Same team.” First time you’ve heard Carmen adopt your idiom; you can’t help but smile, though you’re trying to hide it. You’re too focused on arguably the two most important men in your life to notice the silent conversation Uncle Jimmy is having with The Computer, speaking solely through nods and exchanged glances. 

Pay is for Chip. Cicero nods, and The Computer nods back. He gets it now. Pay is for Chip. Not just the mixologist, not just the sommelier, not just the repairman, not just the not-quite girlfriend, Chip. You’re Chip. You’re the cog, the piece. The grease between everyone. 

You’re the guy. Always have been, always will be. 

The silent conversation and the warm feeling in the room is cut short though, by The Computer. “Can she deal with the butter thing?”

“What the fuck is the butter thing?” You immediately jump onto the case, when Carmen looks down and away from you, you frown, leaning in. “What’s the butter thing?”

Jimmy snaps his fingers at The Computer, he hands him an invoice, which is then handed off to you. Old Major Farms, Orwellian Butter, salted and unsalted. $11,268. You just. Stare. The math comes all too easy to your head. Worth a week? 

“It’s the best.” Carmen repeats as your eyes remain worryingly unblinking. “It’s—”

“Carm.” Syd all but hisses, shaking her head in tight swivels, waving her hand around her neck for him to cut it. “Making it worse.”

“Angel is like, the worst it can get.” Hums Richie. Recalling your barometer of anger. Recalling the times when Mikey would say ‘what’s the point of paying bills?’ And you’d have to pull him aside. “Can’t get much lower than that besides—”

“Light of my life.” You look up from the paper in your hand, and both Richie and Sydney wince. Your voice is terrifyingly delicate as you nod over to the room behind you. “Apple of my eye. Can I speak to you in your office, please?”

Carmy’d like to say no. “...Yeah.” But you already started walking before he even answered, so there’s not much of a choice here. You head in by yourself, and thankfully, the door closes behind you, so Carmen’s got a second before he gets devoured. 

He walks around the counter, and as he nears the door, Richie grabs his arm. He whispers as he hands Carmen what’s left of his cocktail. “You need to lock the fuck in.”

“I know.” Carm returns, shooting down all that’s left of the lowball. Why’s Richie’s the sweet one? Why’d Carmen get the cough syrup drink? That’s not fair. Do you not think he’s sweet? “Thank you for the— Intercept.” 

Richie nods, he’s been unwillingly playing quarterback for Carmen since going to Rockefeller and seeing that goddamn giant tree and Carmen couldn’t stop opening his big fucking mouth after seeing you under the star. “Just think with your brain, not your—”

“Don’t.” “Was gonna say heart.” “Sure.” “Don’t be weird.”

“I know it’s expensive.” Carmen gets it out before even fully closing the door behind him, “But it’s normal prices, for high-end restaurants. I know it’s different—” He stops short when he finally turns around from the closed door, to see you, holding your painting. 

It’s facing you, you’re reviewing it in your hands where you sit in the office chair; the brown wrapping paper freshly ripped and on the floor. Carmen still doesn’t know what’s on the piece. 

“Carm.” You twist the piece around in your hand, turning it to him. He can see the nine squares. The Beef to The Bear. Mikey. “This is not another restaurant.”

Carmen continues to stare, silently, though he takes a step closer, reaching a hand out to graze over the canvas. You keep going, clarifying. “We’re not just another high-end restaurant. We’re us. And so we should be doing things like us. We’re the best, we don’t need the stuff to be.”

He was with you until that last part. His pursed lips say as much.

“It’s—” You smack your lips together, haphazardly handing him the canvas, he’s very quick to grab it with both hands, not wanting it unstable for a second. “Hold on, let me show you somethin’ — I think I left one in here.”

You roll the office chair back a bit, sinking down in the seat to reach far behind a tall cabinet; you have to pad your hand around in the dark nook for quite some time before you pull out— A screwdriver. An oddly shaped one, at that.

“...Has that been here the whole time?”

You nod. “Like threeish years at least, I think I threw it back there while telling it’s origin story. It’s part of the first set I ever got.” You grip the flat wooden handle. “It’s the worst screwdriver on earth, like, by far.” 

That gets a little chuckle out of Carmen. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You look up from it to him. “It’s a handmade set. Dad’s dad made it.” You awkwardly roll closer to him, he leans over, head next to your head as you both look down at it. “It’s got a flat wooden handle, made of poplar— So not only is it fucking impossible to get a good grip on, it’s also so fucking slippery. It’s part of a whole set, passed down from my grandpa to my dad to me.”

“Sounds fucked.”

“It is.” You laugh, and so does he. “It’s purposefully meant to piss you off.” You rub your thumb over the dent marks in the wood— All from the times you threw it at something— Including the very cabinet that it hid behind. “You ever wonder why I took over the handyman gig, bein’ the youngest and all?”

Carmy shrugs, glancing from the screwdriver to you. “Just assumed you were the best.”

That gets another laugh out of you, and Carmen’s overjoyed by the sound. “Yeah, I’m probably the best. But that’s only cause I kept up with it.”

You turn your head up to face Carmen again as you explain, “When our dad started bringing us to jobs as kids, he would make us exclusively use this set of screwdrivers— Sort of as a secret test. My brothers would get pissed off, as planned, and they’d quit and cry. And I dunno, I guess I’d cry and keep going? And I learned a couple tricks, eventually.”

“Tricks?”

“Like.” You pull back in the chair and run your hand across the office desk. The corners of it are screwed into the metal cabinet below it. “It’s really good if you’re screwing from the top down.” Using it as an example, you start to unscrew it. “It’s balanced. And it’s really all in the grip— Always loosen your grip with this one. Even if that seems counterintuitive.”

You get it to unscrew just fine with your loosened grip. “But if that doesn’t work, and you just can’t get it to work—” You lift the screwdriver in front of his face, showing off the sides of the handle. He smirks at the— “Just make your own grooves, it’ll be easier to hold.” Tiny teeth marks. 

“Carm.” You tap the handle to his nose as he zones in too much on it. “I’m the best repairman because I can work with anything. You’re the best Chef because you can work with anything. You don’t need the best when you’re the best.”

He’s the best? 

He’s the best. 

He’s the best. 

“I truly think you could make just as good a plate with Becel as this fucking Animal Farm butter.” 

Carmen’s the best. You think he’s the best. 

He’s gotta think with his head and not with his heart and not with anything else, either. Lock the fuck in, Carmen.

“I dunno bout all that.” He shrugs, bashful and attempting to hide it, trying to shake the praise off his back. 

“Well I know ‘bout that.” You shrug back, “I’m actually kind of a genius, when it comes to knowing who’s good and who’s not.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Carmy hums, and the sound is sweet without reservations. “...Painting is very good.” He nods to himself, on repeat, like a bobblehead. “Or I guess it’s less a painting and more a buncha photo transfers?”

“Yeah.” You set the screwdriver aside on the desk. “Most of them I took.”

“They’re good. It’s—” He pauses, tongue against his teeth. “It’s nice to see evidence he kept up, or somethin’.”

You nod, seeing Carmen’s brain struggle to keep pace in real time. “We took that one I think the day we talked to Uncle Jimmy about The Bear? Had to print out articles as proof we could make it work— Or, that you could make it work, rather.”

Carmen sniffs, crossing his arms, hands in tight fists— Probably too tight— where they hide. “Yeah, kinda fuckin’ up my end of the bargain, hm?” The light laugh that follows is hollow.

“Eh. You both did.” You smile, though it’s hesitant. “ But at least you’re still here fixing it.”

Still here. Still fixing it. That is in essence, the piece. Carmen gets lost staring at the squares, so you speak as he does. “I was trying to like. I dunno, replicate your brain.” He can see it. The messy yet coherent, controlled yet chaos. The love. The grief. The progress. The home. You see him. He can see that you see him. 

“11k for butter,” Carm’s head doesn’t move but his eyes raise to you. “Is a week. More than a week.”

Ah. Carmen can see you too, see your thought process. The Ascaso, worth one of the worst weeks of Mikey’s life. The fucking butter. Worth more than a week of Mikey’s sobriety. 

All you can do is nod solemnly. “It is, yeah.” 

He nods back, tongue prodding his cheek. “That’s too much.”

“I’d agree.”

“I’ll switch to local.” You make it easy for him to fix his mistakes, by giving him the space to realize them. 

“I think that’s the right call.” You nod, smiling. After a moment, you reach for Carmen to uncross his arms, and when he does, you take his fist and uncurl it— Your hand is a very soothing balm to the spots where he dug his nails into his own hand.

“Loosen your grip, Carmy.”

And so, he does. With a laugh and a look to high heaven, he loosens his grip. Really loosens his grip. Well— Not completely, he’s not going to say that, but he will say something that is just nearly as difficult but not quite. He'll bite down a little. He’ll make the grooves, for now, until his grip is good enough.

“Come to dinner with us?”

would you believe me if i said I had to rewrite a bit of this last scene because intially it went so rom-com and I was so disgusted when I reread it in the morning I had to stare at it in the subway ride to work like "what the fuck am I gonna do"

was this chapter good? God I hope so. I felt like with where we're going, it was kinda necessary to do Chip's onboard, set the stage for what work is like for her. I had to loosen my own grip with this one lmao. just allow myself to be a LITTLE messy. if it's bad, lie to me. tell me sweet little lies peach

DAD REVEAL THOUGH EH? MR CK!!! So much did happen this chapter. Chips on board! Squid Ink moving in together era commences! Christmas party!! Also. Would you believe me if I told you no shit syd was gonna move, she was planning it in S2, but I was planning this whole time for Ink to get evicted!! I want those fuckers to be roommates STAT!!!

anyways, i really hope i remembered to write down everyone that asked to be added to the taglist, i might've not. i'm very sorry if i didnt

oh also if you wanna be added!! send in your thoughts!! words for words baby, essay for essay cmonnn gimme ur character analysis!! (oh and also ask to be added, ofc)

@hoetel-manager , @fridavacado @sharkluver , @spectacular-skywalker , @silas-aeiou , @deadofnight0 , @sunbreathingstuff , @anytim3youwant @navs-bhat @whoknowswhoiamtoday @gills-lounge @blueaproncarmy @itsallacotar @catsrdabestsocks101 @popcornpoppin @renaissance-painting @lostinwonderland314 @v0ctin @ashtonweon @mrs-perfectly-fine @thefreakingbear @anytim3youwant

[just-zy]

Lost a letter (I)

pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem Reader!

summary: You have a hard time trying to swoon Wednesday, but having her roommate be your friend? It doesn't always end well.. Maybe..

A/N: hello! been awhile, hasn't it? here's a little something, I've been having writers block for so freaking long, I have this pending Vada fic rotting in my drafts cuz ion kno how to finish it 😭, but I'll find the time to finish it sooner.. eventually.. Anyways! Hopefully you guys enjoy this for the meantime. (Werewolf Reader!)

Warnings!: cursing, I don't know, my writing, lemme know if I have a bunch that needs to be put on warning!

part 2 || Masterlist

It was a random Tuesday afternoon, nothing too serious. Well for Wednesday Addams, it wasn't. Considering it was her writing time, she had no care of her surroundings, no care for the world at the moment, no care at all. Unlike you, you were sprawling, whining, and succumbing into the sheets of your mattress as if it was eating you alive. Enid being with you in your room, wasn't much of a help to your problem.

"Enid! You can't just tell her that I wanna take her out on a date! That's Wednesday Addams, that'd be a total turn off for her.." I fuss with her about that fact. She knows I'm right.

Enid looks at me like I was some kind of stray, "But isn't that what you wanna do? Wednesday likes straightforward people more." The blonde shrugs with a smile. A smug one. "I wouldn't even dare say a word to her, Sinclair." I grumbled in the sheets I was in, gosh I was so done with being in love.

"You know, you have a chance with her. She likes you." I heard shuffling and thought nothing of it, I scoffed at the thought.

Feeling the bottom of my bed dip, I peaked out of the covers and saw Enid smiling at me with a raised brow. "You do know I bite, right?"

She rolls her eyes at me and begins shaking my covered foot. "Why not make a letter? Get your feelings out before asking her on a date! Seems good, no?", looking at me with such hope. I had no heart to say no.

★

"Who... can tell me, how plants convert light energy into chemical energy?"

I wasn't much of a botany student, I didn't like botany, but I do have knowledge about this class. It didn't come off as hard for me as I thought it was. So, I raised my right hand, I did expect a few to try and answer as well, although it was just us three. Wednesday, Bianca, and Me.

"Oh! Yes! Y/N, can you tell me how?"

"Uh– well, through the process of photosynthesis. Photosynthesis is a critical process that sustains plant life and provides the foundation for the energy supply of nearly all living organisms on Earth.."

As I finished my answer, I heard a few whispers. I wasn't much of a talker, much more looked like I was a student in Nevermore considering I was a loner, so it was understandable. And, uncomfortable.

"Thank you for that, Miss Y/L/N."

Though, I couldn't help but avert my attention to my peripheral vision, Wednesday's desk was just right next to me. She was looking at me.

It might've caused me to shudder, just a bit.

★

"Botany class was something.." I said, chewing on the food I was eating.

Enid sat in front of me as we ate dinner. We were currently in the Quad, she insisted I tell her how I felt about what happened at Thornhills class earlier, even though she was present in the class.

"She was looking at you! I saw that!" She presses and starts eyeing me up and down. "Enid. You were asleep, how could you have seen that?" Chuckling at the thought of Enid just peaking at us and pretending to be asleep.

"I- uh- I felt it! I just know it. Honestly, you don't take my conclusions seriously!" She huffs and starts to chomp on her food so aggressively.

"But in all seriousness.. How's the letter going?" She leans to me a little closer, whispering as if what we talked about was something illegal.

"I– I don't know. I mean, I finished it last night, what about it?" I asked skeptically, I didn't exactly like where this question was headed.

"Give it to her!"

"Are you crazy?! You said nothing about giving it to her–!" I shrieked and felt my cheeks get warmer. I knew this girl was trouble. "But it is for her, right?.." She began straightening herself up,

"Enid. Sinclair. I swear to God you won't be able to see the light of day tomorrow if you satisfy that want of yours–"

"I'm sorry! She needs to know!"

She bolted out of her seat right before me!

Being both werewolves had its perks, we were faster, and stronger, compared to mortal strength.

But that doesn't change the fact that Enid's a werewolf as well! Idiot! Run faster!

"Sinclair!"

I didn't care how loud I was, I needed to get to my dorm first before she could. I was able to catch up to her on the hallways, thanks to the adrenaline, though it didn't help that she was a tad closer to getting inside before me.

My dorm was in sight, I pumped my legs faster and grabbed the back of her vest and she slipped to her bum. "Goddamnit Y/N! That hurt!" She stays in place and looks at me so hard I could feel my face grimacing.

I turned away from her and before I could run up to my room first, I felt her seize the opportunity by grabbing onto my left foot, making me fall forward and my face flat onto the wooden floor.

"Oh, fuck! I'm sorry!"

She apologizes and leaves me here? How sweet. I knew I lost, I couldn't move my body considering the painful aching on my face. I whined and winced at the pain.

She had a spare key, which was unfortunate. Although I didn't have a roommate, it was pretty lonely sometimes. Sometimes.

I heard shuffling, lots of shuffling. Does she not see the letter that was unluckily displayed on my desk.

Quietly but quickly standing up, I didn't even care how I felt my uniform started wrinkling. I went inside and saw her standing in the middle of the room, eyeing me menacingly. "Where is it, Y/L/N."

I thought about either telling her where it was or if I'd find it for myself... I fled to my desk where my letter was. Where the letter was supposed to be. Where it's placed. Which wasn't there.

"It's not here."

"I thought we've established that already.." I glanced at her, seeing her arms crossed.

"No– It's supposed to be here! I made sure I kept it here."

Oh no.

...

I've looked everywhere and decided to finally give up and wait until tomorrow. I'm sprawled onto my sheets thinking and recalling where I had last placed that damn letter, I didn't know where it could've went or how it could've been taken. Even Enid was worried about its whereabouts, I let out every emotion I felt for Wednesday on that individual letter. What would happen if someone took it and shared it publicly? I had my initials on that letter, and as well as Wednesday's!

Fuck my life. I should have never made that stupid letter.

I felt my eyelids drop slowly, maybe, tomorrow I'd finally grasp and tear that shit apart.

I'll find it before it finds Wednesday Addams.

★

A/N: bumbumbummm wadya think? I've decided to make this a series 🙀 I guess only a two parts series kinda thing... (I lost motivation and wanted to give u guys something before I lose my mind completely.)

[rebeltarot]

FUTURE SPOUSE ➕ VDay Special - Love Letter from your Future Spouse

“I was, and I remain, utterly and completely and totally in love with you.”

[3 piles] ・ [5 decks] ・ [29-39 cards for each pile] ・ [letters, quotes, songs]

Hello friends! It's almost Valentine's Day, and I am so excited to share this Special with you. What are your plans for this Valentine's Day? Are you spending it with a cherished person, your friends, or are you your own Valentine this year? Definitely let me know. I love holidays that bring people together which is why I dedicated a reading for it. Enjoy.

Painting: Diana and Cupid - Pompeo Batoni (1761)

Helpful Links: How to choose your pile ➕ Request a reading

18+ only - This is not a blog for minors. Warnings: Some piles have sexual innuendos.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

© rebeltarot 2024 - all rights reserved ・ do not steal, copy, change, or redistribute my content.

PILE 01 ➕

Disclaimer: All Tarot readings on this blog are meant for entertainment purposes only. My Pick-a-card readings are based on my knowledge of the tarot and my intuition. Tarot is a divination tool and should not be considered a replacement for medical or professional guidance. It is not intended to be used as such, and any choices made in response to my readings are your own responsibility. All interpretations are speculative, and whether you believe in it is your choice. Readings are for self-reflection purposes only; take what resonates, and leave the rest. My readings are timeless unless stated otherwise.

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

B, L, A, I, N, E, H, blank, 11:33, 11

Quote: Even if the stars fail to shine and the moon refuses to light up the world, I know I have nothing to fear. I have my guardian angel to look after me, care for me and love me forever and always. I love you!

Song: Love Me More - Sam Smith

LOVE LETTER FROM YOUR SPOUSE

Cards: Dear, Always by your side, I want to start a family with you, I am open to compromise, I have an offer for you, I am lost without you, It was always you, My nerves have been getting the best of me, Yeah nah, We have known each other in other lifetimes, I left because you told me to, I was in denial, You have so many choices and options, Make space for it, dance with me make me sway, I like it like that, destined, you cam to me at a time when my heart was selective, I'm a slave for your love, You don't own me, I don't wanna play no games, New beginnings, Feminine moon, Childhood, Wealth, Support, Ego death, Tower moment, Crush, Evil eyes

Hello, Pile 01, and welcome to your reading. How are you spending this Valentine's Day? Your spouse has a message for you, enjoy!

Dear Pile 01,

To us, distance is nothing. You’re right here in my heart, and I love you more than ever. It's impossible to put into words how much I love you or to describe how you make me feel, but that doesn't stop me from trying. You are my home, the person I trust with everything. There is no one else I would rather start a family with. It could just be you and me, or mini versions of us as well. I am more than willing to compromise with you because, at the end of the day, you are all I need and want. And I am not embarrassed to say that I need you, because I do. You, to me, are a want that turned into a need. There is no going back after knowing you. I can't possibly deny myself the magic that is loving you, so I have an offer for you, and that is my love, my devotion, and my forever. It could all be yours; you just have to say the word. I am lost without you, and there is just no one else who could even compare. It has always been you. You. You. You. Lately, my nerves have been getting the best of me. Could you tell? Did you feel my anxiety? I hope not. But if you did, I find solace in our connection. Your energy feels like home. It's like history has threaded us together and made us one. I know you. And I have known you for lifetimes. I apologize for having left you. It wasn't easy, but I respected your wishes. Honestly, I was just so afraid of your rejection that I cowardly believed you when you said I should go. I was in denial. It's intimidating to see how many people see what I see in you. How many other people are willing to risk it all for you! I can't claim to not understand, though, because here I am doing the same. Your light and your energy are just impossible to ignore and unsee. But I am working on myself. I am actively making space for you and us.

There is just no one who does it like you do. Your energy and your eyes compel me to do things I had never considered before. You are the only person—no, angel—that can ever make me sway. For you, I'll second-guess everything. For you, I'll leave everything. And I like it like that. I wouldn't change it, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You have so much power over me, but I trust you. You could do anything you wanted and ask for the world, and I would give it to you. But I know that, despite everything, you will never hurt me. No, you would never take advantage of me. With you, I am safe. And with me, you are safe. We are destined, my love. There is no way around us. When we met, I was selective with the people in my life, but you just made your way into my world effortlessly. Like it was nothing. Like there wasn't any wall built around my heart. It's as if you have always belonged. And you are right; you have. I am a slave to your love. But although I am bound to you, I am still free. There is nothing about you that makes sense, and simultaneously, you are the answer to every question I have. I want to be crystal clear with you. It's you. And I have no intention to play any games or make our journey any harder. You don't have to prove yourself to me. You are enough just the way you are and exactly as you come.

I want a new beginning for us. I dream of a fresh start with you. You are my counterpart, and we are connected in every realm possible. I feel you, always. I understand you, always. I feel honored to see every side of you, and I am so blessed to learn about the wonder of the world that is you. You are a person who is so rich and abundant and so full of life that I just can't stay away from you, ever. I want to help you and support you through everything. For you, I would take on the hardest challenges and the scariest obstacles out there. If it helps you, soothes you, or even puts a smile on your face, there is nothing that could stop me from jumping without being afraid of falling. I am there for you, always. I am around you every second of the day. Because, darling, I love you. I would die a thousand deaths for you. Whatever you need me to do or whatever you need me to be, just say the word. Nothing will ever tear us apart. I love you so much that even Cupid is jealous.

Always by your side, your future spouse.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

© rebeltarot 2024 - all rights reserved ・ do not steal, copy, change, or redistribute my content.

PILE 02 ➕

Disclaimer: All Tarot readings on this blog are meant for entertainment purposes only. My Pick-a-card readings are based on my knowledge of the tarot and my intuition. Tarot is a divination tool and should not be considered a replacement for medical or professional guidance. It is not intended to be used as such, and any choices made in response to my readings are your own responsibility. All interpretations are speculative, and whether you believe in it is your choice. Readings are for self-reflection purposes only; take what resonates, and leave the rest. My readings are timeless unless stated otherwise.

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

P, E, N, T, T, O, O, C, 11:40, message/dm, sirens

Quote: I want to drown with your lips, in the ocean of our kiss.

Song: Lemonade - Internet Money, Gunna, Don Toliver, NAV

LOVE LETTER FROM YOUR SPOUSE

Cards: My dream come true, With all my love, I respect you, Let me hold you, I am absolutely in love with you, I am coming trust, I am healing my broken heart, You light up my life, Love is not fair, I have been distracted, Yeah nah, We have known each other in other lifetimes, I am lost without you, I was always you, I talk about you a lot, You are too far away, If I follow you I could lose everything, We are from two different worlds, Clarity of mind, You make me want to do better and try harder, You like me mad you think it's funny, I hear your messages in songs, Baby would you ever want to be my girlfriend, You touch me like no other, Sexual energy, Who do you love, Follow me into the dark break up a piece of your heart, I'm facing my truth, Do you want me the way I want you, Masculine Sun, Trust, Helplessness, Clash, Unwanted change, True love, Power, Child:wounded, Trauma, Confession

Hello, Pile 02, and welcome to your reading. How are you spending this Valentine's Day? Your spouse has a message for you, enjoy!

My dream come true,

I want to get drunk in your skin, as it glistens drops of love, pouring from our sin. You are the essence of life for me. I respect you. Your thoughts, your ideas, your words, your willpower, and your intelligence. All of you! I am yearning for you; please, just let me hold you. I am absolutely and irrevocably in love with you. Darling, soon. Soon I'll be able to hold you, touch you, and breathe in your scent. I am coming; trust me. There is nothing that would ever be strong enough to keep me away from you. I am healing myself so I can be there for you wholeheartedly. My heart was broken before, but for you, I'll risk another heartbreak. For you, I'll even risk my life. Because you, my dearest of all, light up my life, my entire world, even. Although love might not be fair, when it comes to you, I'll give up everything without asking for anything in return. Lately, I have been all over the place and distracted, and I apologize. Although that is true, and although I am healing and hurting; my mind, my heart, and my energy, all of me still can't stay away from you. We have known each other for lifetimes. You are no secret to me, and I am no secret to you. Without you, I am lost. You are my guiding light, and you are the sole reason why I am finding my way back to myself. You are my only motivation and my only inspiration. It was always you, my love. There is no confusion here. No matter our pasts, it all eventually leads to us. That is the only logical conclusion. The only thing that makes sense. You and me. I talk about you often, you know. I tell everyone and everything about the wonder that is you. But you are still so far away from me. Following you could cost me everything I have. You and I are from two different worlds. Worlds that are not compatible. And although it's everything I have known thus far, I will abandon it instantly. I will sacrifice everything so I can be with you. Because you clearly do not understand that everything I have had is just a fraction of everything that you are. I am not losing. With you, I am only winning. So no, I am not sad about it. And no, I will never regret it. This is something that I will never question, and believe me, I'll make the same choice over and over again. With you, there is no confusion, no doubt, just clarity. Wherever you are is my home.

You make me want to do better. You inspire me to grow, to change, and to open myself up and be vulnerable. I am an intimidating person, but to you, that means nothing. You just laugh when I get mad because you think it's funny. And because you trust me. My god, your trust is just as sweet as honey. It's worth all the gold in the world. It's worth all that I have. We are connected, always. Even if I am not in your life right now, I can still hear your messages. You are in everything that surrounds me, but especially in the songs I hear. You are in the lyrics that capture my attention and in the melodies that move me to tears. It was never hard for you to reach my heart, because for you, there are no barriers. With you, I am open and vulnerable. Would you ever consider being with me? It's a silly question, right? But will you be my Valentine? forever? Until we both lose our breath and beyond that? Everything pulls me toward you. Like a magnet, I always find myself around you, touching you, kissing you, and pleasing you. No one heats me like you do. One simple touch and I am a puddle, water bending at your command. I have never experienced such an attraction before. I am a composed person, hardly shakable. But it takes one single look—the tiniest microexpression—and I am ready to go. I am ready to worship. Who do you love? Is it me? Will you choose to spend the rest of your life by my side? I am aware of other energies. And I have to admit that it startles me. It scares me. The slightest possibility of losing you instills fear within me that rattles my bones. Nothing, absolutely nothing, in existence puts me in as much fear as the idea, the tiniest thought, of losing you. Are you as deeply in love as I am? I want you to be. I want to touch your heart as much as you touch mine. I want to make your body ache for me as much as my body aches for you. Let's get entangled in our passion and stay here forever. I want—no, I need your love. Do you want me the way that I want you? When you are in love, in true, deep love, there is no way around facing yourself. And I am facing my truth right now, so I can be the best version of myself. You don't deserve any less than that.

I want to be strong for you. I want you to be able to rely on me. I want to provide for you. Your trust—it's the only thing I need in this life. No, your love. It's my life elixir. I am helpless without you. We're just like fire melting into ice, and I love the way that we collide. I'm pitch black, drowning’ in your light, and you are the only one who can put me in my place. You are the only person who can set my whole world on fire. My equal. And I would not have it any other way. I know that our paths to each other lead through loss and tears. You have to let go of something to be with me, just as I have to let go of everything to be with you. It's a change that neither of us asked for, but if it leads us to each other, if it leads us to true love, isn't it worth it? You are so breathtakingly powerful. A force to be reckoned with. The entire world trembles to see your beauty, your power, and your intelligence. You are the only person I trust, the only person who will ever know me for everything that I am. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It's all yours. There is no point in hiding it; you see through me so effortlessly.

With all my love, Your future spouse

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

© rebeltarot 2024 - all rights reserved ・ do not steal, copy, change, or redistribute my content.

PILE 03 ➕

Disclaimer: All Tarot readings on this blog are meant for entertainment purposes only. My Pick-a-card readings are based on my knowledge of the tarot and my intuition. Tarot is a divination tool and should not be considered a replacement for medical or professional guidance. It is not intended to be used as such, and any choices made in response to my readings are your own responsibility. All interpretations are speculative, and whether you believe in it is your choice. Readings are for self-reflection purposes only; take what resonates, and leave the rest. My readings are timeless unless stated otherwise.

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

S, U, R, E, B, E, U, I, blank, 11:47, sirens

Quote: I want to make love with my tongue, and whisper kisses, through your mind, until your body comes, undone- Body language.

Song: LAW - Yoon Mirae, BIBI

LOVE LETTER FROM YOUR SPOUSE

Cards: My cherished, Devotionally yours, I don't think I ever truly knew you, I left because you told me to, I hold back because I don't want to be rejected, Other opinions have clouded my vision, I don't want to lose you, Definitely, My surroundings don't approve, I need more time, I was a fool, We are too different, I'm ready, I think we should slow down, It's ok to feel feelings, I hope we can love through the pain after the honeymoon fades, I wanna marry those eyes, Sexual energy, I don't understand, You don't own me, Baby would you ever want to be my girlfriend, don't be scared I ain't afraid, Love making, Judgement, Surprise, Withdrawal, Tower Moment, Support, Privilege

Hello, Pile 03, and welcome to your reading. How are you spending this Valentine's Day? Your spouse has a message for you, enjoy!

My cherished Pile 03,

If there is a parallel universe, I will fight through the stars to find you. Darling, I don't think I ever truly knew you. I don't think I will ever truly know you. You are the entire cosmos, ever-changing, and it will take lifetimes, if not forever, to discover everything that makes you you. I am sorry that I left. I turned away from you and us because you told me to. And I hold back because I don't want to be rejected. Losing you once has nearly broken me; I don't think I'd be able to survive another time. There is so much noise around us. There are so many opinions and so many views that have clouded my vision. I am confused. I don't want to lose you. ever. I exist, so I can live on a planet graced by your presence. Just knowing that you are alive and well keeps me going, and it makes life worth living. Your presence humbles me to the point where just breathing the same air as you feels like a blessing. There are people in my life who are jealous of our connection. People who do not approve of us being together. I need more time to sort out all the thoughts in my head. So many doubts have been planted in my mind that I need space to clear out the clutter that clouds my vision. I was a fool. Such a fool! I regret hurting you. I loathe that I was the cause of your hurt, the cause of your tears. We are so different, yet we get along so well. I am ready for you, darling, but I think we need to take things slow. Rushing into it will only hurt us. It's okay to feel your feelings. Love, true love, evokes so many emotions in us. It makes us feel deeply, and it makes us hurt deeply too.

I hope that we can love through the pain, even if our honeymoon fades, even once you take off your rose-colored glasses. Your eyes. Oh my god, your eyes. I want to marry them. You bring me to my knees with your gaze. I have never met a person before who had me in a chokehold like you. I don't understand it, and it confuses me. When you look at me with your beautiful and hypnotizing eyes, I'll say yes to anything. Whatever you want, it's yours. You don't own me, not yet. I am not yours, and you are not mine. But would you be my forever person? Would you marry me? I know it feels like a big commitment, one that might scare you. But it doesn't scare me; it never will, because I trust you. I yearn for you deeply and passionately. I imagine us making love. I imagine you, naked, looking into my eyes and screaming my name. Don't judge me, please. I just can't help it. The pull you have on me is just as surprising for me as it is for you. I might be withdrawing right now, but it's because I need to collect my power and my energy, so I am ready for the change that is you. For the new beginning and world that you promise. I want you; I crave you. It's primal. I want to support you, I want to be strong for you, and I want to earn the privilege that is your love.

Devotionally yours, Your future spouse.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

© rebeltarot 2024 - all rights reserved ・ do not steal, copy, change, or redistribute my content.

[solxamber]

If you haven’t gotten this already, maybe a part 2 to Idia x sentient npc reader?

Maybe they somehow find themselves in twst? Maybe isekai style (I’m stuck on you villainess fics lol)? Or if you had other ideas that’s totally fine too. (I’m not used to requesting 😭)

I really like your stuff so honestly I wanna give you as much creative freedom. Or if you feel like that fic is over/you don’t have inspo for it anymore that’s understandable too 😊

Keep up the amazing work!! 💖💖

Idia Shroud x Sentient NPC Part 2

Part 1 : here

Thank you for the request, and I'm glad you like my isekai fics <3

The moment you blink into existence in Twisted Wonderland, you’re not sure if this is real life or another game glitch. One minute you were comfortably breaking the fourth wall and wooing a gamer, and the next? You’re standing in front of an overgrown haunted house with a big “Night Raven College” sign. And a certain blue-haired, fire-topped guy is gaping at you like you’ve just sprouted another head.

“W-WAIT,” Idia stammers, eyes wide behind his tablet as he stares at you. “This—This isn’t happening. There’s no way. Did I… did I actually summon an NPC?!”

You take one look at him—tousled hair, dark circles under his eyes, and the way his fingers hover over his tablet like it’s some sort of lifeline—and a grin tugs at your lips. Oh, this is gonna be good.

“Well, well, well,” you say, casually strolling over to him. “If it isn’t my favorite player. Miss me?”

Idia makes a noise somewhere between a squeak and a strangled gasp, his whole body freezing up. “Y-You—! You’re here! How are you here?! Did I—is this some cursed DLC? Am I in a nightmare? Oh my god, is this another event?!”

You lean in, narrowing your eyes playfully. “Nightmare? Babe, I thought you were happy to see me.”

Idia’s face flushes a deep red, and he yanks his hoodie up over his head, mumbling something incoherent into the fabric. “H-Happy? Who said anything about happy?! I didn’t sign up for a ‘real-life NPC invading my world’ edition!”

You raise an eyebrow. “Oh? You weren’t just thinking about how much you’d like me if I were in the real world?”

He stiffens so hard it’s like his entire spine turned into a steel rod. “HOW DID YOU—NO. I didn’t—this isn’t—this is a glitch, it has to be! Or a fever dream. Or maybe I finally lost it after all those sleepless nights grinding for rare drops—"

"You're cute when you ramble," you interrupt with a smirk, enjoying watching him implode. "So, are you going to show me around this place, or should I just assume you’re too flustered to handle me?"

Idia stares at you like you’ve grown two extra heads. “Y-You’re just… okay with this? You’re literally… in a different dimension, and you’re fine?!”

You shrug. “Eh, it’s a step up from my last gig. Besides,” you add, leaning in closer, “I kinda like having you as my guide.”

His brain short-circuits for a full ten seconds. “G-GUIDE?! L-Like an actual dating sim?! Do you think this is a game?!”

You pause dramatically. “Isn’t everything a game?”

There’s an audible groan from behind you, and you turn to find Grim, your new furry audience member, smacking his face with his paw. “Great, just what we needed—another weirdo.”

Idia, still staring at you like you’re some kind of unholy glitch in his life’s code, manages to stammer out, “I—I can’t believe this is real. There’s no way this is real.”

You smirk. “It’s real, all right. And don’t pretend you’re not thrilled. I can practically hear your heart racing.”

His face flushes even deeper, and he clutches his tablet like it’s his last connection to sanity. “Okay, okay. You’re in Twisted Wonderland, fine. But this doesn’t mean you get to start… start messing with the plot!”

You grin. “Who says I’m here to follow the plot?”

Idia lets out a strangled noise, burying his face deeper in his hoodie. “This… this is too much. I’m not ready for this level of immersion. This is like, hardcore VR, but real! And with you here, it’s… it’s… OH MY GOD, WHAT DO I DO?!”

You put a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to look at you. “Easy. You play the game, Idia. And let me show you how fun it can get when I’m the one writing the script.”

The look of sheer panic—and excitement—on his face is priceless. "Y-You're serious?!" he squeaks, not sure whether to pass out or burst into flames from sheer embarrassment. "But, like—what if this is a permanent event?! What if I never—"

"Oh, relax," you say, poking his chest lightly. "I'll make sure we both enjoy this little 'quest.'"

There’s another groan from Grim, but you ignore him, keeping your eyes locked on the flustered mess in front of you. Idia’s practically a puddle at this point, cheeks redder than Riddle’s roses, but you know he’s loving every second of it.

“Okay,” he mutters, glancing between you and his tablet. “Okay, I can work with this. Maybe it’s not a total catastrophe. I mean, you’re here, so—wait, does that mean you’re, like… my NPC now?”

You flash him a rogue grin. “If that’s what you want, I’m all yours.”

Idia blinks. Then, with the kind of realization that only a true gamer would have, he straightens up slightly. “I-Is this… the ultimate secret route?!”

"Could be," you say, leaning in closer. "You think you can handle it?"

He stares at you, wide-eyed and flustered beyond belief, but finally, he nods—though it's more of a nervous twitch than anything. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, I-I can handle it. This is fine. Totally fine. Just… don’t, uh, don’t go rogue too much? I-I don’t think I can survive if you start rewriting my entire life!”

You laugh. “No promises, player.”

The panic in his eyes is real, but so is the smile slowly creeping onto his face. And as you stand there, facing him in this strange new world, you realize you’re both about to have a lot of fun.

"Welcome to the real game," you whisper, before pulling him into a kiss.

Idia promptly drops his tablet.

Masterlist

[lovebugism]

band!eddie and reader finally having some alone time in the tour bus *wink wink*

18+ rockstar!eddie universe <3

It was one of those rare occasions where the rest of the band wanted to go out and you wanted to stay in. There hadn’t even been a show that day, just interview after interview after interview. It left your social battery at an all time low. So when Jeff and Gareth wanted to barhop the night away, you lamented that you were way too tired to accompany them. 

And Eddie, being the nice guy he was, opted to stay in with you. “Someone’s gotta make sure the lady stays safe. Wouldn’t want someone to steal ya,” he’d half-joked.

You scoffed. “Because, god forbid, you lose your bassist, right?”

“Well, if I lost you, I think I’d die, but…  yeah, having to find a replacement would definitely be more emotionally taxing.”

Eddie Munson was the only person in the world who could rival your sarcasm. It was so easy for the both of you to cover up a sweet thing with something so playfully sour. The boy finishes his quip with a stupid, lovedrunk grin that nearly makes you melt. 

“Obviously,” you retort.

The rest of the boys disappear for the next several hours, enough for the sun to have set and stars to sprinkle the sky. If you had to guess, they’ve probably got a running bet on how many bars they could get free drinks from. It’ll go on until they can’t see straight anymore, no winners or losers — unless you count your manager, who’ll no doubt have to escort them back to the bus. 

With them gone, the bus is practically silent for the first time all tour. There is no boyish yelling or tuning guitars or video games. There’s not even the muffled sound of tires on gravel with the tour bus parked. It’s total silence filled only with the faint sounds of Charlie’s Angels coming from the common area. The episode is practically on mute, though, because Eddie knows you’re tired and doesn’t want to disturb you.

The soft quiet ushers you into its velvet arms. It almost lulls you to sleep several times over, but something in the back of your mind refuses to let you slumber. You were annoyed at first. You were squirming in your tiny bunk for nearly an hour until you realized you were filled with a need of a different kind.

You didn’t need sleep. You needed Eddie. Like a child needs their baby’s blanket — you can’t be without him for too long, or you might start screaming. The sudden ache to be close to him hits you like a freight train.

The sliding door of the bunks glides open with a mechanical schlick. You lean against the frame of it, clad only in a too big shirt that probably belonged to all the boys before it got to you, and admire your boy in his element.

He’s all spread out on the leather couch, curly hair untamed and in a messy chestnut halo on his head. He wears a piece of outdated Corroded Coffin merch from back when you only played gigs at The Hideout. The shirt clings to his torso while a pair of old pajama pants hang low on his hips.

Eddie’s eyes are firmly trained on the small television in the corner of the bus. The chocolate of them dart around the screen as Farrah Fawcett turns flips beneath a shoddy cable service. He barely acknowledges your presence, too engrossed in the climax of his show.

“Thought you were sleeping,” he says without looking at you.

“I’m too bored to sleep,” you practically whine. 

Your feet shuffle along the carpeted floor as you walk the short distance to him. You all but flop onto the couch at his side, burying your face into the warmth of his neck.

“What do you mean you’re too bored to sleep?” he mocks with a soft laugh. He turns to press his lips to your head, not exactly kissing you there, just resting against you. His words are muffled: “Why didn’t you go out with Jeff and Gareth?”

“Didn’t want to,” you answer shortly.

“Solid answer,” he nods. “What do you wanna do then?”

He doesn’t necessarily mean it suggestively. He’d probably go lie in traffic if it’d make you less bored, he loves you so damn much — but fuck if a million dirty things don’t pop into your head all at once.

It’s practically the first time you’ve been alone all tour. 

Now that you think about it, every time you’ve fucked Eddie, it’s been at the discretion of prying eyes just behind a door or in a room over. Hotels are few and far between, and you and your boys are the tightest clan the universe has ever seen, so it leaves little room for opportunity time for you and Eddie.

But here you were now, with no one around, and practically all the time in the world (or rather, until sunrise, when the rest of the band shuffled back onto the bus).

“I don’t know,” you lilt, though you’re already hooking a leg over his thighs.

Eddie feels like a teenage boy all over again as you settle onto his lap. A wide grin tugs slow at the corners of his mouth. He doesn’t bother to hide his excitement. “What are ya doin’, doll?”

“Nothin’,” you shrug, feigning innocence, like you’re not slipping your fingers through the hem of his pants. The tips of them inch into his boxers and trail down the thin patch of coarse hair there with a touch that’s smoother than water.

His cock is already half-hard when you take him into your hands, warm and soft and stiffening in your grip. Eddie exhales deeply through his nose at your gentle caressing, his gaze now turned down to where work him harder.

“Keep watching your show, baby,” you tease with a knowing grin as you slip his dick from the confines of his pajamas.

“How can I—” he tries to joke, but the words get lost in his throat when you slide your panties to the side. He goes instantly stupid at the sight of your slick collecting along the manicured thatch of pubic hair just above your pussy. His brain all but ceases to function when you rub yourself along him, drenched folds parting to welcome the bulbous tip of his cock.

You feel like silk, he concludes, or maybe something somehow softer. 

Eddie swallows thickly while his obedient hands settle on your hips to steady you. He continues, this time with a tremble in his voice. “How can I when you’re pullin’ this shit, huh?” his button eyes flit back up to look at you, a smirk forming on his pink lips. “You just wanna ride me, huh? That’s what you need?”

You don’t answer him. You’re barely listening, if you’re honest, too concentrated on positioning him at your opening. You gasp softly when you pierce yourself with him, then exhale low moans as you sink slowly onto his cock. The burn is a minimal one, somewhere in your lower tummy, that washes away with a flood of velvet-coated pleasure. 

Eddie fills you so perfectly, just like he always does, like he was made to be seated inside you.

“Well, this is an excellent way to pass the time, if I do say so myself,” he manages to quip through bated exhales from where he’d been holding his breath. You rock your hips over his lap without warning. His pink lips form a tight line as something short of a growl bubbles in his throat and rumbles in his chest.

You watch with a proud grin as his eyes flutter shut and his head falls back. You push his curls over his shoulder to press open-mouthed kisses along the pale expanse of his neck, occasionally dragging your teeth along the milky white tendon there.

Eddie hums to himself when he feels you mewl softly against his skin. Your hips sway back and forth over his thighs, moving to a rhythm of their own accord — all slow and methodical. It’s a pace that always gets him pussy drunk. A steady rise and fall that forces him to feel all of you and makes him swear that you’re some kind of succubus.

“Oh my god,” he says within a dragged out exhale. He starts to babble to himself while you work yourself over his lap. “Fuck me… This is so… so fucking hot. Shit— your pussy is so good to be, doll…”

He forces himself to open his heavy eyes to watch you mount him. His chin tilts down towards his chest and he shifts his hips so he has the perfect view of you. Your honey coats his lap, leaving his cock and pubic hair glistening with your slick. The sight of him all shiny with you makes him dizzy.

His palm leaves your hip and seeks purchase on your ass, not really thinking about it, just gravitating to hold you there. He grips you with guitar-string calloused hands that encourage you to rock harder against him.

Your hand trails from his shoulder down to where the two of you meet. You start to rub your clit with a lust-fueled fervor that just about makes him implode. You whine when your fingers meet the sensitive button, clenching somehow tighter around him as your pleasure begins to crescendo.

“That feel good?” he wonders through bated breaths. His hand leaves your ass, rising for no more than a moment, only to come down again in a practiced slap that makes you jolt against him. The sting of his palm adds gasoline to the simmering embers of your impending orgasm.

You whine, louder this time, arching your back and keening shamelessly against him.

It makes him grin. “Huh? Feels good on your pretty little clit, doesn’t it, doll?”

“Fuck yes…” you cry through a tight throat. “Feels so good, Eddie— fuck.”

Your hips lose their rhythm as your body fights to find its own pleasure. 

You’ve got his dick locked inside you with a grip so tight it’s got him seeing stars, and it makes him wonder if you’d stop. Like, if the boys barged in right now, would you keep going, too far gone and dumb on his cock not to see it through. 

Something about that, you riding him for all he’s worth, whining while you come on his cock with your friends watching — seeing firsthand who you belong to — makes him want to burst all at wants.

“God, this pussy’s amazin’, baby… ’S gonna— holy fuck… You’re gonna make me come if you keep riding me like this... Shit, yeah, just like that, doll.”

When you come, you do it together.

It’s a borderline spiritual feeling, one that doesn’t happen very often because Eddie’s usually adamant about you coming twice before he has the first time. But now, both of you are sensitive and whining through your orgasms, heaving out incorrigible moans and grasping tightly onto one another.

Eddie takes to fucking up into you while you reach your simultaneous highs. He grips you hard enough to leave bruises while his thighs audibly slap slap slap against your more slick ones. You cry at the oversensitivity — electric shocks that contrasts heavily with the warm feeling of his come spitting into your fluttering walls.

You shake violently in his hold, moaning his name over and over like it’s the only word you can remember. Your orgasm comes and goes, and you’re left whining pathetic Eddie, Eddie, Eddie’s into the mostly silent tour bus.

The boy isn’t in much better shape either. He fights off a cramp in his foot from where he’d curled his toes too tightly and blinks away burning tears that sing the backs of his eyes from coming so suddenly.

Your hips come to a slow stop over his lap, too quickly and yet not soon enough. You rest your forehead over his own, knocking your nose with his before you lean in to press several lazy pecks upon his lax mouth.

“See?” you manage to tease through heavy pants. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“I guess that wasn’t the worst idea you’ve ever had,” Eddie quips with a wide grin and eyes that are still slightly glazed with dispersing pleasure. He rubs his hands over the skin of your ass to soothe where he’d held you too tight. It’s soft, too soft for what he’s about to tell you. 

“Now, how about you spread yourself out on this couch and let me clean you up, ‘kay?”

[elsweetheart]

gm angel!!! i was wondering if u could possibly write abt ellie helping out an inexperienced reader like she has her first time with ellie n what the would be like!!

haaayyyy omg ok

slow burn.

🎀 innocent / inexperienced!reader, very smutty ! ellie being a cocky lil shit …

you knew you’d wanted ellie from the moment you met her.

you were entranced by her, both young teenagers, ellie a year or so older than you when she took you under her wing. you often recalled how she solidified your love for girls almost instantly, the crush on her hitting you flat in the face like a slab of concrete. you think back to her adorable pony tail, the way she dressed, the way she had boy-ish charm and playfulness but could comfort you the way only a girl could. you’d spent a long time following her around like a lost puppy, being known as “ellies shy friend”. over the years she’d forced you out of your shell again and again, dragging you around with your hand in hers, a constant reassurance.

inevitably, now adults, you’d ended up her girlfriend. “slowest fucking burn in the world.” the auburn haired girl often told you, shaking her head recalling the way two of you had grown up crushing on eachother without saying a word. “no seriously, what… the fuck… were we doing?” she chuckled, handing you the watering can as you worked. she found it sweet how you’d only been given the totally ‘girly’ jobs around jackson. tending to the horses, helping out in the garden etc. she couldn’t picture you leading a supply run or hunting like she would, nor would she want you to. your soft hands were best utilised back here, where you were safe.

“i guess i didn’t wanna ruin what we had. i knew you liked girls but i thought it was awfully presumptuous to assume you liked me just because we were close and i’m a girl.” you shrugged thoughtfully, trickling water on the soil. you turned your head to look at ellie for her thoughts, only to find her smirking. you furrowed your brows in confusion.

“presumptuous.” she repeat, amused at your use of such big and unnecessary words. she jumped off the wooden fence where she was sat, leaning forward to ruffle the top of your head. “my smart girl, aren’t you?” it wasn’t mocking, or patronising and yet it made heat rise to your cheeks, something else, another feeling stirring down below. before she had time to notice she was stepping away, stuffing her hands in her jean pockets. “alright, i gotta go meet tommy about some fuckin’ hunt he wants me to lead. i’ll see you later, yeah babe?” she began strolling away and as you lift you head to bid her farewell, hands pushing some new buds into the soil she spun on her heel, finger pointed towards you.

“hey—um,” she began casually. “you wanna come over tonight? i got that movie you said you wanted to watch, the scary one.” she flushed. it was still very early days in your relationship, finally having admit your feelings for eachother just about a month ago. even though you’d known her for years, the two of you were treading on totally new territory. she made you hot and nervous, even more than she did before now that she was all yours. she oozed confidence, and now she had you— her usual flirtiness was dialled up to ten. it had erupted some feelings you’d only briefly touched on before, one’s that would have you laying awake at night frustratedly palming at your cunt trying to dull the ache she’d leave from her lingering glances and gentle manhandling.

later that night, you were smushed up against her side on the couch— the old horror movie buzzing on the screen. the two of you were always affectionate, it was normal. but now, your heart raced when her arm slipped around the back of you, pulling you closer into her. “you know, incase you get scared.” she smirked, and you feel like the butterflies in your tummy bottomed out into your cunt. you stared up at her for a moment, totally unaware of her joking tone and nodded shyly, snuggling into her with your eyes glued onto the screen to hide your face. to be quiet honest, you had no idea what was going on in the movie, you were totally encompassed by being so close to her.

she seemed totally relaxed and in her element, which equally sucked for you as it made her even hotter, whilst easing your mind slightly that she had everything under control. her hand pushed your tshirt up your arm slightly, hands gently stroking and kneading the skin there in an attempt to comfort you. you realised that she must’ve thought you were on edge because of the movie, and not because of how much she effected your body. her hand was cold and slightly clammy, a stark comparison to how warm the rest of her was in her hoodie. you snuck a peek at her, eyes flitting over her profile. she was wetting her bottom lip with her tongue, eyes on the screen. everything seemed to suit her so perfectly, her hair pulled up into her messy half up bun, the freckles dusted over her nose and cheeks, the scar dividing her eyebrow into two. you felt so lucky to have her, and you wished you knew how to express to her how badly you wanted her.

“you know, i can see you staring.” her lips pulled up into another smirk, this one more adoring as she turned to look at you, her eyes moving in a triangle motion— from one eye, to your lips, to the other. you couldn’t help but openly look at her mouth too, glittering with moisture slightly from her own tongue. “hm?” came your delayed reaction, so zoned out— feeling light headed from the way she made you feel. this made her chuckle, low in her throat.

“hm?” she repeat, teasingly. “you want a kiss?” she offered, her hand now stroking down your back from your position, turned to face her. you didn’t even wait a beat, already embarrassed from the way you threw yourself at her. kissing was the one thing you did know how to do, wrapping your arm around her neck, an accidental moan leaving your throat when you did so. she took control quickly, pushing you back with her mouth, hand on your cheek to almost soothe your desperation. “easy, tiger.” she joked with a humble chuckle, pulling away to breathe and laugh at you. you felt your face turn all hot and your lips parted, realising how pathetic you were being. you blinked a few times, turning back to the screen like it never happened.

“sorry.” you blurt out, frozen in your spot from the humiliation. the amused smile didn’t falter on her face at first when she leant forward to look at your profile questioningly.

“hey, wait what?” her brows furrowed, the smile taking its time dropping. you didn’t say anything and she spoke again. “babe? what just happened, huh?” she gently took your chin, urging you to look at her and she nudged you slightly with her shoulder. you looked at her wide eyed and guilty, struggling with your words.

“i didn’t mean to — i just — i accidentally just totally threw myself at you because — i want — i don’t know ellie, i’m sorry.” you covered your face, feeling hot tears in your eyes.

“woah, baby!” she cooed sympathetically, not quite knowing what she’d done to get you so wound up but feeling incredibly guilty for it. “hey, don’t be like that. i liked it. i was just gonna tease you for it, that’s all. you know what i’m like, m’an idiot.” she chuckled reassuringly, both hands on your cheeks. you peered up at her shyly, letting her stroke her thumbs along your cheeks.

“really?” you clarified, blinking at her in the low light as the movie continued, unattended to in the background.

“really.” she confirmed with her classic ellie smirk, she pulled your face close to hers, lips just grazing over yours. “i actually thought it was kind of hot, seeing you all needy like that.” she breathed into your mouth, and right there and then your pussy clenched up, thighs near trembling with the force it had spasmed at just her voice. you worried for the couch beneath you, scared of dampening it from your seemingly abundant arousal.

you couldn’t say anything, just let out a shaky breath, leaning forward to try and connect your lips. she leant back a little, so fucking cocky and amused when you chased her, letting out a desperate, quiet ‘ah…’ as you did so. “uh-uh.” she cooed and your eyes fluttered open to look at her face, analysing you close up. she was trying to get you back to that place she had you before without the embarrassment. needy, desperate, bordering on frantic for her touch.

already without pride, you whispered. “please, ellie.” and she couldn’t help but grant your wish, pressing her lips to yours. the makeout session intensified past any point the two of you had gotten it before. you hadn’t even realised that you were moaning quietly as her tongue massaged yours, and she groaned back— more at the feeling of your chest heaving against yours, the subtle feeling of your nipples hard through your top pressing against her was driving her wild.

you knew she’d been with other girls before, much to your devastation over the years when she’d come back to you bragging about her new sexual endeavours. to you, it felt like confirmation that she would never in a million years like you. you’d spent many nights crying over this, or out right avoiding her when she’d go through these phases. luckily for you, her relationships never lasted that long— no more than a week or two at a time, and the reason behind the breakup was always vague and mumbled, ellie recovering from it almost instantly— clear that something vital had been missing (that being, you— of course.) to ellie, her bragging was a constant display of her worth to you. she knew, but wouldn’t admit that she was only trying to prove to you that she could make you feel good if you’d ever give her the chance, but she was sure she’d blown her chances by that point.

you however, were totally innocent. you didn’t understand half the sexual jokes ellie made, let alone understand the sexual acts she’d describe when she’d return to you after one of her little flings. she’d always chuckle, catching a glance of your wide, focused eyes before patting you on the head “you’ll learn what that means one day, don’t you worry.” she’d mock, amused by your lack of experience.

your back arched into her touch when she finally slid her slender hands up your top, stroking and worshipping your soft skin that she’d always wanted to get her hands on. a whimper forced its way past your lips when her fingers ran over your breasts. you pant against her mouth, before the moment was again broken by her quiet yet obnoxious laugh.

“what?” you whine, openly needy this time.

“nothing, s’just… god, i thought you were fuckin’ innocent dude. you want it so bad.” her lips catch yours again, pulling away ever so slightly to suck on your bottom lip as she groped you beneath your shirt.

“i don’t know how to— i don’t know what i want i just know that…” you began, voice strained and hoarse as she mouthed at your neck, undoubtably sucking a bruise like she did last time (which when noticed, earned you a wide-eyed side-eye from Joel himself the next day.) she pulled away from you, her eyes all pupil at this point, mouth wet and flushed with colour.

“you just know what, hm? s’okay, i don’t bite.” she couldn’t help herself from pecking you again. “unless, you know… you’re into that.” she stole another kiss, gently nipping your bottom lip, voice deep with the smirk laying across her mouth. you drew in a harsh inhale, trying to gather your thoughts.

“you know i’ve never…” you started and she nodded, giving you her full attention now.

“i know, babe. you don’t have to—” she reassured but you cut her off, hands grabbing her by the collar of her hoodie, practically half on top of her.

“i want to. i want you to… i need help. you make me need something and i don’t know what, but i can’t sleep at night and i can’t focus, els. just want you t’make it better.” she could feel you slipping. you were always so submissive to her, even in every day life she knew you’d do anything to please her— and now things were no different, except it had been dialled up, and you were staring at her with big doe eyes and lips that she wanted to push her fingers into and make you suck. she ran her thumb over your bottom lip just at the thought, picturing how pretty you’d look.

“you need me to make you cum.” she state boldly and your eyes widened a little bit. you knew that cumming meant an orgasm, and the thought equally scared you and excite you. you could never quite get there by yourself, mounting pillows and blankets and your hand — yet never quite sure what to do, just rutting against it like some kind of desperate bunny. “i can do that, baby. always wanted to do that.” she whispered in confession, her other hand sliding up your back to reach your hair, tugging gently and slowly to expose your neck more to her, bruising her lips back into it. you bucked your hips against nothing on the seat and she glanced down, hand soothing you against your thigh.

“can i touch you there, pretty girl?” she asked, hand sliding across the thick band of your leggings. her pinky finger grazed over your mound as she stroked you just briefly and you shivered, nodding. “fuck. i need you to say the words, babe. don’t wanna take anything from you that you’re not ready to give.” she was stern all of a sudden, commanding and kind all at the same time the way ellie had always been. it was comforting, your ellie was going to make you feel good.

“want you to touch me ellie. need you to teach me.” you whimpered, eyes glossy with need and glancing between hers.

“alright. alright, i got you.” she dropped another kiss to your mouth before leaning back to look at what she was doing. “‘m gonna take these off okay, baby? just get them out the way.” she muttered, the desperation slipping through in her own voice ever so slightly before she checked herself, gaining better control over her demeanour.

you helped her pull off your leggings, ellie gently easing you to lie down on the couch, leaning on her elbow laying beside you as she shield you from the horrors on the forgotten about movie on screen.

“these are pretty, you had plans to get me in your pants tonight huh?” she joked, running her finger lightly over the waistband of your lacey pink panties. you felt your body flush in light embarrassment, knowing she was totally onto you. you had infact worn your best pair, unsure of what might happen.

“no.” you hid your nervous giggle into your hands and she nudged them away with her chin, rewarding you with more kisses.

“its okay, i like ‘em. they suit you. plus i can’t say i wasn’t thinking about it.” she praises, pushing your tshirt up to grope your soft skin once more. “you ever touch yourself before?” her question catches you off guard and your breath hitches in your throat, thighs tensing a little which she ignores. “s’alright you can tell me. our secret.” she nudges her nose against yours as her fingers dip into your lace waistband, pulling out again to tease you.

“i’ve… tried. just don’t know what m’doing.” you shiver, eyes screwed shut in concentration, her hand setting your skin alight as she continually draws near where you need her.

“poor thing.” she tuts, hand sliding up your thigh to bend your knee, pulling your legs wider open. you feel your drenched folds part and you swear to god you hear a wet sound at the action, a tribute to how fucking turned on you were. you swallow thickly, and ellie kisses your throat. “you’re cute, always wanted to ask you that actually. used to think about you doin’ it, all alone in your room. figured one day you’d come knocking at my door beggin’ me for help. that day never came, you really toughed it out hm?” she was cooing at you, and you felt ashamed at how hard your chest was rising and falling, eyes fixated on her hand stroking your inner thigh.

“mmph— wanted to. wan’ed your help, els.” you whimper and she responds with a hard wet kiss on your cheek.

“and look at us now. see where using your words gets you, huh?” she teased. her hand cupped your mound finally and you sucked in breath, the pressure just enough to make your clit pulse beneath the indirect touch. you rocked your hips into her hand through your underwear, the friction of the lace burning against your button making you sob. “yeah? haven’t even gotten started on you yet, baby.” she digs her fingers in slightly, sliding them up to rub your clit in generous circles. you release a clear moan, grabbing her arm and digging your nails into her tattoo.

“th—feels good, ellie.” you whine and she smiles, nudging your head aside so she could kiss your neck again. “that was definitely the plan.” she mumbles jokingly against your skin.

you huff out in frustration at her teasing. “stop.”

she lifts her head to look at you, eyes dancing between your own. “stop what, touching you?” her fingers slow their motions.

“no!” your brows furrow desperately, bucking into her hand. “stop teasing me. be nice.” you pout, emotions sky rocketed from the vulnerable position she had you in. she smiled sympathetically, her fingers skilfully pull your panties to the side, digits swiping through your wetness. she smirks once more as your eyelashes flutter at the sensation.

“i dunno, think you like my teasing. sure does make you wet.” she closes in on you, latching her lips to yours once more as she pushes her fingers through your soaked folds, feeling the way you jolt against her. “see, i can be nice.” she mutters, circling your clit again, she swallows your moans, dropping her tongue into your mouth and letting it swirl around. she continued to please you, and you felt a growing ache — lower down, where your hole was. it pulsed and clenched around nothing as she gave all her attention to your clit.

“m—more, please.” you swallow thickly, the fast circles on your clit slowing.

“yeah? you enjoying yourself, pretty girl?” she kissed the corner of your mouth making you nod.

“you’re so, mmh, so good at this.” you whimper and she feels smug— knowing no one else could ever know your body like she would. her middle finger hooked round, pushing ever so gently against the gummy walls around your hole. she massaged it, easing your tension slightly and you bit your lip needily, eyes trained on hers as she watched your every move and reaction. she began pushing her finger in slightly, watching the way your body tensed and then relaxed, expression melting as your brows furrowed and your eyes fluttered closed.

“fuck.” she whispered harshly, tearing her eyes away to look down at her finger disappearing inside you. you were tight, and she didn’t want to jump the gun but the thought of you squeezing around her strap had her breathless. “y’need to relax for me, pretty girl.” her free hand stroked your lower tummy, soothing you. you’d clenched around her finger so hard that she could barely move it. “m’not goin’ anywhere. that’s it, there you go.” she praised as you willed yourself to unclench, a whimper at your efforts leaving you.

she massaged the gummy warm walls inside you, watching the way just one finger had you falling apart, sobbing into her mouth as you caught the rhythm, grinding against her hand. “good, yeah. you’re taking it so good babe. my good girl, aren’t you? always been my good girl.” she kissed your forehead, another finger prodding at your entrance. you whine at the intrusion but welcome it anyway, only clenching hard once you’ve swallowed her up to the knuckles. your toes clench at the fullness, along with everything else. her palm that had been knocking against your clit with each movement was making it all too much, and suddenly you could barely breathe.

you sucked in air, overwhelmed by the feeling. “ellie.” you gasped and she was cupping the back of your neck with her free hand, the other fingers stilled inside you.

“look at me, look at me.” she demand quickly and casually, your hazy eyes landing on hers. “breathe, baby i know it’s a lot. i know.” you let the panic wash past you as you slow your breathing, wide eyes stuck on her’s like they were your life line. “there. you’re so fucking good. just be calm, let it come to you.” she kisses your cheek and you nod, eyes fluttering closed again as you nod. her fingers start to move, slow and you moan, free and unabashed. “good girl, baby.”

her fingers curl up, and after a while of doing this they come across a soft spot— one that makes you cry. “oh, gosh— ellie!” you hiccup, tearful and desperate now bucking against her hand.

“right there?” her voice is calm, raspy and low in her throat as she looks straight at you, brows raised in almost sympathy.

“yeah—but— s’too much i feel like— g’nna pee!” you squeal in humiliation and she hides the chuckle that nearly breaks out of her because it wasn’t the time.

“i know angel, s’intense isn’t it? but it’s not pee. i promise you. just let go okay? when you’re ready j’st… j’st fucking let me have it, yeah?” her whisper gets desperate again and it makes you buck even harder against her hand— fingers pressing hard against your spot again. almost immediately, you’re tipping over the edge and seeing stars, brows furrowed and jaw dropped. ellie keeps up her pace, feeling like she could cum herself just from watching you lose it, clenching and squelching around her fingers. “good girl. good fucking girl. look so pretty cumming for me, that’s it.” she encourages through grit teeth, talking you through it. you can barely hear her, white noise deafening you as you hit your euphoria.

it becomes too sensitive too fast and you’re fumbling at her wrist to stop her. she does, of course and she’s letting you breathe right into her mouth— swallowing the pants and catching kisses where she can. years of waiting to touch you, and it was better than she ever could have imagined. despite the sensitivity, you whine pathetically when she pulls her fingers out, her head pointing down to look at the mess you’d made. even in the low light she can see your slick coating her hand and your inner thighs, and if you weren’t so out of breath you might be embarrassed. “god damn.” she chuckled and your eyes flicker open, demure and sweet as ever. she brings two fingers to her lips, oh-so-casually sucking the juices off them with a grateful hum. “taste as good as you fuckin’ look.” she compliments and your lips part slightly, invitingly. she brings them to your mouth now and you welcome them inside, sleepily suckling the remainder of your flavour off them. “shit.” she puffs out a breath, shaking her head. how had she bagged someone so sexy again?

“than—k’you ellie.” you garble around her fingers, greedily savouring the slick on your tongue as she watched, entranced.

“anytime, babe.” she huffs out. “no really. any time.” she reiterates, widening her eyes making you giggle.

you weren’t sure how great of a student you were, but you knew ellie was a damn good teacher.

♡

[borathae]

"He asked for two things. Your strap and to be treated with care. You can't say no to him. Not when he looks so adorable with his pretty, sparkly doe eyes gazing at you and his dainty, little waist fitting perfectly between your fingers."

Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: married life!AU, winter holiday!AU, Smut, BDSM

Warnings: sub!Jungkook, Mommy Dom!Reader, he makes her cum against her will (with consent obviously), and she gives him some spanks as "punishment", that's the only rougher part 'cause otherwise this story is very soft, he dresses up for her in a jockstrap & leather harness, he also wears bunny ears & a tail buttplug, emotionally intense love making, Lotus position, pegging, praise, good boy kink, she calls him slut but in an adoring way, loving dirty talk, voice kink, rimjob, face sitting, oral (f.receiving), 69nin, handjob, nipple play & sucking for both, nipple clamps with chains + choker, multiple orgasms (f. & m.receiving), his orgasms are very intense, he's deep in subspace, subby boy tears, the softest aftercare, they're in love and kinky

Wordcount: 8.5k

a/n: i wanna give him the world. he is my babyboy and i wanna coddle him and love him and give him all the attention in the world! my cutie pookie :( enjoy besties, i fucking love him 🤍 ps: these are two ideas from Kinktober 22 which i turned into one ruining smut :(

You and Jungkook were on vacation. It was a cold destination this time around. Canada in the winter. Jungkook rented a cozy wooden lodge with a view of the mountains and lakes. The bedroom was located at the best spot of the house with one wall being entirely made out of glass and a view of the starry sky. You could also close the blinds, so you and Jungkook have been sleeping in on most days. 

Work has been left behind in Seoul. Jungkook didn’t even take his work phone nor laptop with him and you didn’t even think twice about packing your study books. 

You have been neglecting each other lately, not willingly, but because life is stressful and cruel. So you swore to each other to make this holiday about two things. Nourishing your relationship and relaxing. Both things have been going splendidly. 

You sleep in, cuddle and make out, go for breakfast in the resort’s restaurant, either go skiing or use the resort’s thermal spas and then let the evening play out however you feel like. 

Tonight you felt like going to bed with a good horror book and Jungkook felt like using the bathtub. The book is amazing. It’s scary and totally captivates you.

The bedroom door opens, in steps Jungkook.

“I’m back.”

You don’t notice him at first as the book completely engrosses you. 

Jungkook struts to your side of the bed and stops. 

“Hello”, he coos.

No reaction from you. You are completely lost.

He huffs out air and pouts. He really wants your attention.

He tries by calling your name, then your petname. Both don’t work.

“Mommy?” he tries next, tapping your shoulder.

“Yes Bunny?” your attention is on him instantly. You look at him, “oh wow.” 

Jungkook is wearing a skin-tight jock strap in white which truly accentuates the shape of his dick. He paired it with a white leather torso harness and a pair of nipple clamps. Silver chains are tangling from them, connecting with a white leather collar which he seemed to have pulled tight enough that he naturally holds his head high. 

“Bunny…” you choke out, placing the book aside without bothering to use a bookmark. Yes, this is how truly mesmerised your sweet husband has you. 

A pair of floppy bunny ears is tangling from his head. Jungkook turns for your viewing pleasure, revealing his plump buttocks and the fluffy bunny tail between them. Judging from its position, it’s attached to a buttplug.

“Holy shit Bunny, you look so sexy. Bunny”, you gasp and get on your knees, reaching for him greedily. 

Jungkook turns again, allowing you to pull him closer by his waist. 

“Bunny. Oh my god, Bunny.” 

He giggles, pulling a little pose.

“Do you like it?”

“Do I like it? Of course I like it. I, I fucking love it. Holy shit, you look so sexy. Bunny”, you babble, running your hands all over him. His hips, his waist and stomach, his sides and chest, his arms and shoulders. You can’t get enough of him.

Jungkook tingles from the touches, watching you with half-lidded eyes. This is the kind of attention he wanted from you. All of it and all of it and all of it. He’s so greedy for it.

“You look so handsome. Oh Bunny. Is that what you were up to? Did you even take a bath?”

“No”, Jungkook confesses and snickers, “I lied so I could prepare the surprise.”

“Wow, you’re such a sneaky Bunny. I never would have figured. Gosh look at your ears”, you say, playing with them carefully, "I’m gonna burst, this is the cutest thing ever. You’re my actual Bunny now."

“Mh-hm I am”, Jungkook says, and gets on bed. He does a little bunny jump, making you laugh with it. He laughs himself, doing it again with a cute butt wiggle at the end. 

“You’re too adorable. Oh my goshyoucutieyou”, you lull your words as you press them out through gritted teeth. You squish his cheeks, frowning deeply, “I’m gonna squish you to death”, you growl, acting as if you were squeezing his face even if you apply not an ounce of pressure. The cuteness aggression is hitting you hard. You love this man so abysmally much that you are angry. 

“Mommy, stop it”, Jungkook giggles, stubbing your palm with his nose.

“No, you stop it. You’re so handsome and cute that it’s making me mad.”

“No Mommy, don’t be mad at me”, Jungkook pleads and pouts. 

“You’re so cute. Fuck, I’m done for”, you say, dropping into your pillow with your arm thrown over your eyes, “I need a minute. You’re too much.” 

Jungkook feels so good that it gets difficult to stay still in one place. He wants to bounce around and giggle. It feels so good to be your husband! 

Jungkook loves your attention so much. You give the best reactions to his surprises. Jungkook always imagines how you may react to them, but then you always surpass it. He won’t ever grow tired of being your only center of attention and praise and heart eyes. All of it. Jungkook wants all of it. 

He bounces on the mattress in little movements, closing in on you that way until he can climb on your lap and place his hands on each side of your head. 

You drop your arm from your eyes, looking up at him. The bunny ears tangle, the chains of the nipple clamps do as well. The contrast between his cute headgear and the sexy nipple accessories makes you weak in the knees. And that says a lot because you are currently lying down.

You reach up and twirl the chains. Jungkook shifts, feeling the slight tug. It tingles like crazy.

“What am I supposed to do with you, mhm?” you speak to him in your fond Dom voice. 

Jungkook loves this voice so much, fighting the urge to moan like you trained him to do. Not willingly of course, but Jungkook realised that whenever you talk in this voice and he makes pretty sounds, you praise him even better. 

“You’re looking so cute with your little bunny ears, but then you're dressed like such a slut.”

Jungkook moans softly, arching his back.

“See? That’s what I mean. You’re such a cutie and yet you’re such a slut”, you coo and tug on the chain. 

“Mommy”, Jungkook is arching his back again, sticking out his butt. 

“Mhm, Bunny? What do you want me to do with you?”

“Peg me.”

“Peg you? Is that why you're wearing a pretty tail for me?” 

“Yes, Mommy. I, I cleaned out and then prepared myself for you”, he says and climbs off your lap just to turn around and show off his butt this way. He is resting on his feet, sticking out his butt as best as possible. He wiggles his hips, looking over his shoulder.

“Mhm look at you. The tail fits you so well Bunnybaby.” 

“It’s really deep, but not as deep as your cock could go”, he says and turns back to you. He sits in perfect posture, tilting his head to the side, which forces his bunny ears to flop cutely. He runs his hands up your body until he can rest them on each side of your head. He lowers himself, letting his pretty eyes run over your face, “I want your cock so bad, Mommy.”

You twist the sheets and speak through gritted teeth, “the things I want to do to you, holy shit.”

“Mommy…” Jungkook sighs and chases you. You tilt your head up, meeting him in the middle. The kiss feels so good to both of you. Moans mix with each other, lips know exactly how to move and your fingers dig into his dainty waist instantly. He fits so perfectly between your hands. His skin is soft and warm while the leather straps of the harness are rough. The contrast drives you crazy. He feels so fucking good to hold.

Jungkook mewls into your mouth. He lowers himself to his elbows just so he can be closer to you. His fingers shift from the pillow to the crown of your head, giving you a gentle yet greedy massage. Your touch feels so good. Jungkook became so needy as he prepared himself for you and now his skin is extra sensitive. He hopes that you never stop touching him.

You run your fingers from his waist to his buttocks, feeling them up greedily. The jockstrap pushes them up and makes them feel extra plumb. You need to squeeze them. Once. Twice. The desire is too big. You land a little spank with both hands. Just harsh enough that his butt wiggles.

Jungkook squeaks and flinches, breaking the kiss with a shy giggle.

“Mommy”, he gasps, scrunching his nose.

“My Bunny”, you rasp, gazing up at him as your fingers knead his buttocks, “my pretty, sexy Bunny.”

“Yeah, I’m your Bunny”, he says and cups your cheeks to pull you back into the kiss.

You allow him gladly, giving him a chance to think that he is controlling the kiss. He’s so good in showing you the tempo and level of passion he currently needs. You can busy yourself with feeling him up. That’s so much more fun either way. You intentionally leave out his tail for now, knowing that this will make him impatient in the long run. And when Jungkook gets impatient, he becomes a whiney, squirmy mess and you love that state of his'. You dance your hands to his hips and up his waist. Just to the middle of it, then you run them to his back to feel up the harness there. The straps and metal hooks are so hard in contrast to his soft, perfect body.

You linger especially long on the spot where four straps meet and create a small opening in the middle of them. It exposes Jungkook’s spine and you can’t stop tracing it and scratching his skin on each side of it.

Jungkook breaks the kiss after a few seconds, sighing his words, “this feels so good.”

“You’re so soft there.”

“Oh god”, he shudders, pressing himself closer, “Mommy, I want to be treated gently tonight.”

You smile, running your fingers to his neck just so you can play with his undercut.

“You’re my precious prince, Bunny. You can get whatever you want.”

“Then I want to be fucked and loved and, and get all your attention.”

“You’re already getting loved, Bunny”, you whisper, swirling your fingers to his shoulders, “and you’ve got all my attention”, you add as you feel up his choker until you reach the hook where the nipple chains connect with it.

“Then I want more. More and more”, he says, rolling his hips on your lap, “oh god”, he chokes out, chasing your lips. He is still talking as he is kissing you, resulting in messy, amazing kisses, “I’m imagining that your strap’s already there, Mommy. I want to be filled with you so bad.”

“You’re so greedy”, you chuckle fondly, kissing him back with your heart racing unbearably. Sometimes you wonder if there will ever come a day where it will beat a little less for him. You always come to the conclusion that there won’t ever come such a day. On the contrary, day by day, your heart is racing faster and faster for this man.

You trace the chains until you reach the clamps. You outline them, going slow and careful to make sure you remember the feel of them and get him squirmy in the process. And it works. Oh it works too well. Just moments later and Jungkook arches his back to get closer to your touch. The passionate kiss breaks because he needed to be whiney.

“My nipples are sensitive.”

“I know, Bunny”, you coo, flicking the small hoop which connects the chain to the clamps.

“Please touch them. I, I made the clamps tight for you.”

“For me?” still no touch. Just gentle play with the chains to give him a little stimulation.

“Yes to, ah”, he chases your lips, speaks as he does, “to make my nipples swollen for you.”

“You’re such a good boy, Bunny”, you praise, touching his waist. You give him a little push, forcing him to scoot back on your lap so you could sit up. He is taller than you like this, looking down at you with big, sparkly eyes and his hands on your shoulders.

You give him a fond smile and tug him closer, lowering your lips to his right nipple.

“Oh my god”, Jungkook gasps, throwing his hand over his mouth. Like this, his arm cages in your head, giving you a sense of comfort. He squeezes his eyes shut, moaning into his hand.

The nipple clamps grip most of his dainty nipples, leaving your mouth their very tip to explore. You don’t mind. This part has always been the most sensitive for Jungkook and you can wiggle your tongue between parts of the clamps as well to explore his heated up nipple.

His hips are squirmy on your lap, his back keeps chasing you in small arches.

You abandon his right nipple for the sake of his left. You don’t want it to feel left out. Jungkook wants all your attention and you are hellbent on giving it to him.

“Mommy, oh my god, you feel so good”, Jungkook moans, dropping his hand from his mouth to instead cradle the back of your head. He slings his other arm around you, hugging you gently. He buries his nose in the crown of your head, giving you small kisses between his needy moans. This is better than anything he could have imagined.

His cock is so hard in the jockstrap, his hole keeps clenching around the tail plug and reminding him how needy he is. Your tongue is lapping at his nipple, your lips are kissing it. You change between his left and right, making him wish that he could melt with you. It feels so good.

“Thank you, Mommy. You make me feel so good”, he mewls, trembling blissfully. 

His tail keeps poking your lap. You can’t feel its fluffiness as you are wearing sweats. It’s getting harder and harder to stay clothed. His body is burning up and it is torture not to feel his skin against yours.

“Shit, Bunny”, you lull against his chest, lapping at his nipple greedily, “I wanna feel your skin on mine. It gets so hard not to.”

“I can help you undress.”

“You’re such a good boy”, you croak and kiss his nipple one last time because then you lift your head and arms, “do it quickly.”

Jungkook follows obediently. He takes off your jumper, working carefully in order not to hurt your face. He throws it on the floor, letting his eyes run over the white tank top you are wearing. You are going braless and the top is cut in a way which makes your tits look especially pretty. Your nipples are poking through the material, making Jungkook gulp.

“Yes, the tanktop too”, you say, pulling him back to reality.

“Sorry, your tits look so good in the top”, he mumbles in a raspy voice and begins undressing you. It’s the voice he gets when you affect him deeply in a way other than your touches. When your looks and body mesmerise him and drive him crazy, he talks in this deep, raspy voice. You’re obsessed with it.

He throws the top on the floor and cups your breasts instantly, playing with your nipples gently. His palms feel warm and his skin soft. Jungkook has the most perfect hands, manly yet with the most tender of skin. His touch feels so good.

“Mommy, you’re so pretty”, he is back to whining. How adorable.

“Thank you, Bunny. You’re making me feel so good right now”, you say, arching into him.

“So pretty”, he whispers and leans down to suck on your nipples. He doesn’t stay on one for too long, sucking and licking them eagerly. It feels fantastic. His mouth is so incredibly warm and wet.

“Bunny, my pants”, you are sighing the words, ending it with a breathy chuckle, “focus for me, come on.”

“I’m sorry, please don’t be mad. I love your nipples so much”, he says, kissing your neck as an apology. You roll your head to the side, allowing him better access. He is purring as he kisses you, suckling on your skin every now and then to really make it tingle.

“You’re too greedy, Bunny.”

He giggles shyly, “sorry”, he mumbles, earning himself a little buttocks squeeze and a fond chuckle. He lifts his lips from your neck, crawling off your lap to take off your sweats. You lie down for it to make it easier for him, watching him with fond eyes.

Jungkook throws your sweats on the floor as well, running his eyes over your exposed body.

“Wow”, he whispers, touching your thighs, “Mommy, you are so beautiful.”

“Thank you, Bunnybaby”, you say fondly, wiggling your head into a more comfortable position. Like this, you are resting on two pillows, allowing you to see him better, “get on my lap and turn around for me.”

He follows without hesitation. He is resting on all fours, giving view to his bubble butt and the white fluffy tail between his buttocks.

“Closer.”

He listens, shimmying up your body until his knees are resting on each side of your waist and his toes almost touch your arms.

“There we go, I gotta really bask in you”, you praise, “the tail looks so real”, you say.

“I feel so pretty with it”, he confesses, gasping softly when he feels your fingertips dance up his inner thighs.

“You are so pretty with it, Bunny”, you say, feeling up the jockstrap on the spot where his balls meet his taint. He’s so hot to the touch.

Jungkook twists the sheets, moving his butt closer to you in reaction. The touch is just one small change away from where he needs it most. He is so desperate for more.

You touch the tail, give it a gentle squeeze and a little flick with your fingers. 

“So soft”, you say and laugh softly, “shit, it’s so cute how it’s just sitting there.”

“When you touch it, I feel it move”, he says and moans, “please Mommy, don’t tease me please.”

You wiggle his tail, making him press out another plea for more. He’s so pretty when he begs.

“Such a pretty tail”, you coo and grab it, “can Mommy take it out?”

“Yes Mommy, please”, he allows you, clenching his hole in excitement.

“It’s a shame to take it out though. You look so pretty with it”, you say and tug on it, purring in enjoyment when the plug starts slipping out without resistance. He’s so good for you, “no clenching. You’re seriously the best boy”, you say, rewarding him with a slow fuck. There’s the smallest natural resistance whenever you reach the girthiest part at the bottom, but it’s barely noticeable. Jungkook is stretched out so well for you.

“Oh god”, Jungkook gets out, placing his hands on your shins and arching his back. The plug is big enough that you are fucking it against his prostate and it feels like heaven to him. When he walked, he felt the plug shift inside him and said sensations continued as he sat on your lap and made out with you. It resulted in his prostate slowly getting more sensitive and for the current slow fuck to feel almost unbearable.

“It feels so good”, he moans, dropping his head. His floppy bunny ears tangle weakly, showing just how ruined you’ve got him.

“Come closer for me.”

Jungkook obeys.

“There we go, such a good boy”, you praise and reward him by pulling out the plug. His hole gapes for a second, before fluttering closed. Lube squeezes out and runs down to his balls, soaking the jockstrap in the process.

“Please back”, Jungkook begs, clenching his greedy hole. He spent so long being plugged up, that having nothing inside feels like agony.

“You weren’t lying, Bunny. This plug is huge”, you rasp, eyeing it hungrily. It is the perfect hybrid between plug and dildo. Three inches in length, shaped just like a cock with veins and a bulbous head, it ends in a girthy base and a smaller shaft where his rim sits. The white fluff of the tail is soaked in lube where it was pressed against his hole, “that must have made you so desperate. Mhm, Bunny?”

“Yes”, he mewls, arching his back to get closer to you, “please, Mommy don’t tease me please.”

“You’re cute”, you say and place the toy aside. You grab his buttocks and use your grip to pull him onto your face.

“Ah!” he squeaks, lifting himself quickly, “sorry!”

“You did the right thing. Fucking sit on me again”, you order him, tugging him down.

“Oh go-god”, he falls with a shaky moan, squeezing his thighs around your waist when his hole presses down on your tongue, “Mommy, thank you….”

You are sticking out your tongue, wrapping your arms around his middle to move his hips for him. His hole is grinding on the flat of your tongue, getting cleaned from the lube whilst at the same time burning up in pleasure. He tastes artificially sweet at first until his natural taste begins to linger on your tongue. You love it like nothing else, licking him greedily.

“Mommy”, he moans, falling into pleasure he thought never to experience. Which is quite ironic to say because you made him sit on your face a million times before. He should know how it feels to ride your face and yet he still can’t ever believe that it is happening when it does. It always feels like the first time, leaving him dizzy and short of breath.

“Fuck”, your growl vibrates against his sensitive rim, “you taste so good”, you get out and pull him back down, tightening your arms around him as your tongue begins lapping at his hole. It sounds wet and sloppy, feels like paradise.

Jungkook has to gasp and tremble. His hands slip from your legs against his will, forcing him to catch balance in the sheets. He grabs them and twists them, choking out your name while his nose scrunches up in pleasure. His legs are shaking. It’s embarrassing that they are so quick to shake, but it feels so good.

“I can’t get enough of you”, your voice is like electricity against his hole. It’s moments like this, when Jungkook is reminded that he has the biggest kink for your voice. He clenches his hole rhythmically, feeling you growl into him. His clenching intensifies, forcing you to break away, “relax for me. Come on, be my good boy.”

He obeys instantly. He can’t be a bad boy when you’re talking like this. You slip your arms from his middle and place your hands on each of his buttocks, using the leverage to pull him apart. His hole – once so dainty and small – opens up and exposes itself to you. His rim looked so tiny at first, but reveals its true readiness the farther you part him. Jungkook sighs and trembles, letting you know how good it feels to be so freely exposed. He doesn’t feel embarrassed about being so vulnerably open in front of you. As a matter of fact, it turns him on to be that exposed.

“Shit baby, you’re so fucking pretty”, you lull, inspecting his pretty hole greedily.

It flutters at the praise, his breathy voice whispers a weak “Mommy”. It feels so good to be exposed to you. It feels so, so good.

“Lower yourself for me, pretty boy”, you order and stick your tongue out.

Jungkook obeys, letting out a whimper when it results in his stretched out hole to slip down on your tongue. He tries so, so hard not to clench in reaction even if the rest of his body tenses up. He always tenses up when the pleasure overwhelms him. It’s the only way to remotely control how you make him feel.

“Holy fuck”, he whispers, gasping for air repeatedly while his eyes widen and stare at the ruffled sheets. He is getting fucked by warm, wet tongue. His eyes go out of focus, his head tilts back slightly, “Mommy…holy fuck”, he breathes.

You growl, nodding your head as your praise. He comes into contact with your nose, squishing it slightly. Breathing gets difficult, but it’s so worth it when it means that Jungkook is whimpering and trembling above you. 

You wiggle your tongue, enjoying the tightness of his rim greedily. He stretches so well around you, squeezing you in the best way.

“Mommy, I need to- ah!” he moans loudly, shuddering in ecstasy, “I h-have to be loud, I’m s-sorry. Ah!”

You let him know that this is what you want from him by moaning gutturally and giving his hips a small push to show him that you want him to move. Jungkook obeys without hesitation, fucking his hole on your tongue in small movements up and down.

And as he fucks his soft hole on your tongue, he keeps being loud. His fingers keep twisting the sheets and his head can’t decide whether to roll back or tangle weakly. One second he is throwing it back until it gets too much and he drops it again. It forces his bunny ears to flop all over the place, making him look so adorable.

Not that you can currently see. Your vision is blurred, as are your thoughts. He tastes so good, smells even better. There is nothing better in this world than Jungkook. All of him, every single inch, drives you crazy. You let him fuck himself on your tongue until your lungs protest for air and only then you guide him off of you. Your tongue flops out, his hole clenches desperately. Spit covers your face messily, but you couldn’t give two shits. Not when you need him so fucking bad.

You make up for the loss of contact by sucking and kissing at his rim, flicking your tongue over his sensitive parts as you pant for air.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god”, Jungkook is chanting. His head keeps tangling. Any other position was too exhausting. His thighs are squeezing you so much that it hurts just a little.

“Bunny, mhm Bunny”, you growl, pulling him closer even if he protests at first. It is instinct. He doesn’t want to squish you.

“P-please I’ll suffocate you”, he stutters, furrowing his brows as a squeaky moan leaves him. You are trying to fuck your tongue back into his hole, going obsessively rough with it. It gets him so wet, both his hole and his pretty little dick. There is a wet stain on his jockstrap by now. Jungkook can feel the cool air of the room turn it colder than the rest of the fabric. He wants to cup his cock and rub it, but he holds back because he has to twist the sheets instead.

“Please I’m too, too heavy.”

“Shut the fuck up mon amour, I ain’t made of glass”, you spit in what you lovingly call your street-days-dialect, “fuckin’ sit on me wit’ yo’ pretty hole. Make Mommy happy.”

Jungkook feels even the last piece of his sanity crumble. He can handle a lot, but he can’t handle it when you get aggressive with him. He always wants to be a gentleman with you and then you tell him to be quiet and act up. Jungkook gives up, letting you win the fight and therefore pull him down on your face.

You growl into him, making the wettest love to his little hole while your fingers dimple his inner thighs.

Jungkook mewls softly and shudders. His strength forsakes him. He falls to his elbows, resulting in his hole to leave your mouth for just a moment until you pull him back again. You keep lifting your head to meet him, anger fucking his hole with just your tongue. You soothe the punishment with wet kisses and sloppy licks. Jungkook swears that you are currently rewriting his definition of pleasure with just your tongue.

“Mhm”, his voice sound so pretty when he moans, “mhm, mhm, mhm…ah, aha.”

And he can’t stop doing it. He breathes heavily, gasps, moans and hums and you soak up every little sound of him as your starved mouth feasts on his hole.

His jockstrap can barely contain his cock by now. His velvety tip has already slipped out at the side, dripping onto your chest in a constant rhythm. You can feel the wet mess by now. From all the wiggling and squirming you are doing as you eat him out, it has smeared all over your tits by now, covering parts of your nipples as well. You can also feel the warmed up chains of his nipple clamps dance over your tummy as Jungkook keeps shaking above you.

You slide your right hand from his inner thigh and touch his cockhead.

Jungkook squeezes his thighs around you, almost kicking you in the face as his foot twitches in surprise. He drops his head into your thighs, forcing his hot breath to soak your panties.

“I’m close”, he gets out, mouthing at your clothed pussy, “oh god, I can’t hold it for long. Ah!”

“Shit Bunny”, you tilt your head back, giving yourself a chance to speak. Your hand is back on his right thigh, edging him “we gotta stop this or I’ll keep going until I’ve got you cumming.”

“That, that wouldn’t be bad”, he stutters, chasing you while his fingers try to tug your panties to the side, “please, Mommy”, he begs and drags his tongue through your folds. He couldn’t help himself. The scent of your warm, wet pussy was in his nose and it is so close to his mouth, “please”, his voice sends vibrations through you.

“Fine, fuck”, you lick your lips, rolling your hips up as his tongue keeps lapping at you, “I can keep going or I’ll fuck you. You decide.”

Jungkook lets out the first sob of the evening. Even now – when you sound so ruined by all of this – you find strength in yourself to tease him and mess him up. You are so cruel without even doing anything. Jungkook wants to keep sitting on your face so fucking bad, but the thought that he could miss out on orgasming around your strap makes him hesitate.

“I want Mommy’s cock”, he decides in the end, lifting his lips from your pussy, “please.”

“Very well. Do you have the strap here?”

“Yes, your red suitcase”, he answers you and buries his tongue back between your folds. He keens happily, lapping at you with a hot, dripping tongue.

“Okay, Bunny. Good boy”, you are keeping him with you as you run your finger over his rim, “get it for me.”

“I don’t know if I can. My legs are so weak”, he confesses and whimpers, kissing your clit as a weak apology “I’m sorry, Mommy”, he adds, drawing quick circles.

“Fine”, you give in, “get off of me. I’ll get it.”

“Mommy”, he mewls, burying himself deeper between your legs.

“Bunny”, you warn, swallowing down the gasp he almost licks out of you. What he does feels fucking amazing, but you have to stay strong. It’ll be so worth it.

“Mhm mhm”, Jungkook hums, sucking on your clit while his nose is buried between your folds.

“Fuck”, you hiss, arching your back, “Bunny, come…on”, you give his buttocks a soft spank, “don’t be like that. Come on, get up.”

“Mh-hm”, he shakes his head, pushing your thighs apart as his mouth laps at your pussy more vigorously. Your panties dig deep into his fingers as he keeps it pulled away from you, your hips smother him as they thrust up against your will.

“Bunny, listen- ah”, you gasp and moan, dropping your hands from his ass to instead twist the sheets. He makes you feel so good that it’s impossible to function, “Bunny-ah listen to, to ah fuck, listen to me. Fuck, ah.”

Jungkook moans into you, connecting his tongue with your clit as he keeps sucking on it. It results in a mixture of rough sucking sensations broken up by the hottest wetness ever. Mixed with his needy moans and his pretty nose fucking your dripping hole and you are quite frankly, done for.

You roll your eyes back and drop your back.

“You fucking brat”, you choke out, orgasming on his tongue with such intensity that you forget how to moan.

Jungkook whimpers needily, licking you through your orgasm until a sudden harsh spank to his ass forces him to throw his head back.

“Ah!” he lets out, clenching his hole aggressively. A spank on it follows. It stings and forces tears to Jungkook’s eyes.

“You little, disobedient brat”, you spit. Your voice is distorted from the pleasure he made you feel, raspy and deep. Jungkook feels his senses blur. Holy shit, he has such a kink for your voice. You spank his hole again, forcing the fire to burn deeper by pressing the pad of your thumb against it and applying pressure.

He writhes on top of you, struggling to stay on his elbows.

“I told you to listen. Is it so hard to follow a simple order, mhm?” you growl.

“I’m sorry”, he whimpers, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Oh god, Mommy.”

“Good. I fucking hope you are”, you spit and give him one last spank to really get the message across.

Jungkook shudders, leaking onto your tits.

You soothe the burn with a gentle finger, changing your voice as you speak.

“Now get off of me”, you say in a sweet voice, messing with Jungkook’s poor heart.

“Mommy, please”, he begs and rolls off of you. He drops to his back, licking his lips hungrily, “wanted to make you feel good, oh god”, he whines, exhaling shakily as his hands come down to play with his cock. He does it instinctively, writhing on the sheets with one of his legs propped up.

“Don’t you dare make yourself cum”, you warn and stumble out of bed with weak knees. You manage to walk to your red suitcase and squat down even if you are dizzy. He’s got you really good with his mouth. You don’t have to look for long because you keep your toys organized.

“Where is the lube, Bunny?”

“I forgot it in the bathroom. I’m sorry, Mommy oh god. I, I can get it.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll get it”, you say and leave the room.

You decide to slip on the strap in the bathroom, using a grinder on the inside to make it enjoyable for you. You look at yourself in the mirror for a moment. The strap is similar to your skin colour and curves just right to stimulate his deeper pleasure spots. It looks so good on you. And with that thought in mind, you hurry back to Jungkook.

He is kneeling on the floor when you come back, keeping his head lowered. His cock is stuffed back into the jockstrap and his hands are on top his thighs with their palms facing up. His bunny ears, although only fake, look so sad as they tangle from each side of his head.

“What are you doing down there? Gosh, Bunny”, you gasp, hurrying to him.

“I want to apologise. I, I should have gotten the strap and, and the lube. I’m sorry, Mommy”, he says honestly and bows.

“Gosh, you stupid noodle stop that”, you say, pulling him back up with nothing more than two fingers under his chin, “you’re my precious prince and Mommy’s here to treat you, yeah?”

“So you, you won’t punish me?” he asks.

“Of course not, Bunnybaby”, you reassure him.

Jungkook releases a shuddering breath, “Mommy”, he chokes out, gazing up at you with sparkly eyes.

You give him a playful smirk, “unless you want me to punish you, mhm? Didn’t have enough of getting your hole spanked?”

He giggles, lifting his shoulders to his ears, “yeah, that was fun”, he confesses, scrunching his nose up.

“Cutie”, you say, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Jungkook moves into the kiss with closed eyes, opening them when you pull back. They shift to your cock for a second and linger.

“You like it?” you ask him, gripping it by its base while your other hand still holds his chin.

“Yes”, he gets out, parting his lips, “you look so pretty with cock, Mommy.”

“Thank you, Bunny.”

Jungkook closes the distance between his lips and the tip of your strap, kissing it while his devoted eyes gaze up at you.

Your breath hitches in your throat. He looks so pretty like this.

“I love Mommy’s cock”, he whispers and flicks his tongue over the tip, ending it with a droopy smile.

You feel yourself melt, ruffling his hair gently enough not to rip out the clips from the ears.

“Get back on bed, Bunny and let me fuck you.”

“Can you fuck me in lotus position?”

“Of course I can. Everything my Bunny wants, my Bunny gets.”

“Don’t say that”, Jungkook mumbles and giggles. He is so happy. He feels especially soft tonight and you know exactly how to handle him to keep him in the headspace.

You take a step back and walk to the bed, climbing on top of it. You fluff up the pillows so you can rest back into them. Once you are comfortable, you move your legs into the right position. Jungkook followed you as you did all of that, climbing onto bed after you. He is now waiting for you to get your legs comfortable.

Your eyes meet.

“Come closer”, you order as you spread a generous amount of lube on your strap.

Jungkook follows excitedly, positioning himself on top of you. He places his hands on your shoulders, looking down at you.

You smile up at him, connecting your fingers with his hole to spread the lube. He shivers, sighing softly.

“My pretty Bunny”, you whisper, “I can’t get enough of you in those ears.”

“They’re connected to my hair.”

“I know, I felt the clips”, you say and push a finger into him, watching in delight how his eyes go out of focus and his lips fall open.

You curl your finger as you fuck it in and out of him, gazing into his eyes as deeply as possible. 

“You’re so soft inside”, you praise, poking his walls, “my pretty Bunny’s soft everywhere.”

“It’s hard to concentrate”, he confesses, scrunching his brows.

“Want more?”

He nods his head, “yes please.”

“Shit, you’re such a good boy”, you mumble and slip your middle finger into him as well, “the shit you pulled before wasn’t like you. Mhm, why did you act up Bunnybaby? Mhm?”

“Wanted Mommy to feel good”, he lulls his words, finding it hard to look into your eyes. Your fingers fill him out so well.

“You wanted me to feel good”, you repeat, massaging his prostate.

“A-ah.”

“Shit Bunny, when you say it like that it almost makes me feel bad that I punished you.”

“No, it was so…good, ah holy shit this feels so good, ah”, Jungkook gets out and moans, closing his eyes.

“Mhm, I know”, you purr, slipping your fingers free just to make him mewl desperately. You grip his hips, giving them a gentle tug, “take it at your pace, Bunny.” 

Jungkook grabs your cock and lowers himself. He manages to get as far as the tip and then moves up again.

“More lube”, he says.

“Hurts?”

“Yeah, it’s too dry.”

You lube up your cock more, spreading the access on his hole, “try it again.”

Jungkook lowers himself. Your tip slips past his rim easily.

“How’s that?” you ask him, caressing his tensing buttocks.

“Mh-hm”, he lets out, furrowing his brows. His frown worries you.

“Are you okay? Bunny, take it slow if it hurts”, you tell him.

Jungkook frowns harder, sinking down more.

“Bunny, take it slow for me.”

“Mommy, please be quiet. I need to concentrate”, he whines and pouts with big eyes.

“Oh you-”, you laugh, throwing your head back, “you little brat.”

“I have to concentrate”, he murmurs and sinks down the last inches. Now he is sitting on your lap with you cock all the way up his ass, “ah”, he lets out in a sigh, dropping his head in the crook of your neck. His arms hug you, his legs wrap around you. He begins rocking himself on your lap, moaning into your neck quietly.

“Is that better?” you ask him, caressing his lower back. You can feel his muscles shift and tense under his skin. Just as you can feel his thighs tense as he moves on your strap.

“Yeah”, he mewls, nodding his head, “oh god, you’re so deep.”

“I know, Bunny. You’re taking all of me”, you speak softly, grabbing his pretty butt to help him with the movements, “you’re such a good boy taking me like that.”

“Oh fuck, ah fuck”, he whimpers, hugging you tight against him, “I’m so stuffed with Mommy. Ah! Ah”, he shudders, increasing his movements. He still keeps you deep inside, grinding on your lap as his legs tremble around your waist. He doesn’t need to bounce. As a matter of fact, what he is currently doing feels so much better than any bouncing ever could. Because your cock is so deep and really stays at one area, it can stimulate all those sensitive spots inside and Jungkook has way too many of them. And they are way too fucking sensitive on top of that. Every second with you feels like ecstasy even if he hasn’t orgasmed yet.

“Yeah, you are. So filled with me”, you whisper, squeezing his buttocks, “so filled with me. Such a good boy for me. Such a good boy.”

“Mommy”, Jungkook whimpers, falling into you. It forces your back deeper into the pillows and allows him to grip the edge of the headboard. It hurts his nails, but he barely notices it. Everything feels way too good. He is so far gone. Not only in the pleasure, but also the safe headspace. He is on your lap, he can feel your naked chest against his, smells your warm scent, has you holding him and on top of that, his leaky cock grinds against your stomach while your strap stimulates every single spot inside him. There is not a single thing which isn’t right currently. This is perfect and it’s ruining Jungkook to the point where he genuinely has to sob.

“Breathe Bunny, it’s okay”, you soothe him, closing your arms around his torso whilst burying one of your hands deep in his hair.

The hug soothes him so much and makes him sob again because he is so close to you.

“Can I cum? Please”, he begs squeakily, “make me feel…so good. Everything feels so good. Oh god”, he gets out, ending it with a high-pitched whimper and his body trembling in your lap.

“Whenever you are ready, Bunny. I’m right here”, you allow him, hugging him safely.

“Now”, he gets out, “oh god, Mommy now”, he moans and feels how your strap makes him cum. It starts deep in his ass. Right where the silicon toy kept grinding against his pleasure spots. Describing the orgasm as hot wouldn’t be enough. It is so much more than that. Jungkook feels it everywhere and he feels it so deep that it gets very hard to stay conscious. His body twitches and convulses on top of you and you know that he has no control over it. His cock doesn’t release, but throbs so aggressively that it slips out of his jockstrap again. And his voice sounds so consumed by his orgasm that you feel yourself gasp for air as well. You know exactly how good he feels right now, holding him through his high until those shakes slowly die down.

“Good boy, oh my good boy”, you praise him, hugging his waist with your left arm while you let your right hand slip to his cock. You pick it up to jerk it off.

“Ah”, Jungkook arches his back so he can press his chest closer, his trembling arms close around you as his fingers grab a bundle of your hair, “ah, ahm, ah, o-oh.”

He didn’t cum with his cock. He knows that he didn’t, so getting touched by you right now, forces him straight back to the start.

“Oh god, ah, fuck. A-ah, ahm, ah”, he is struggling with producing moans, resulting in them to sound just a little strained but so fucking honest. Only you can make him moan like this. Only you can get him that ruined so it is even difficult to make sounds. And yet, he still tries to because it’s the only way to handle you.

“Good boy, my good boy”, you praise him as you jerk his cock, rolling your hips up to keep his hole stimulated as well. You don’t want any of that sweet, sweet pleasure to die down. You need him ruined and you are going to do it in the gentlest of ways. This kind of way always hits the deepest.

It’s easy to ruin someone with a rough and fast fuck. You just got to pound them hard enough and they’ll feel destroyed.

The proof of a good fuck is how well you can destroy someone with minimal movements. That’s where the real talent lies. And you? Oh you. You are one talented motherfucker.

“Feels so good”, Jungkook is whimpering even if he can barely produce moans. Your shoulder is wet because he keeps spilling tears. He thinks his eyes might be stuck after you made them cross, he can’t seem to find his focus again. His head is dizzy and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. You are ruining him with nothing but a slow handjob and your hips grinding up into him.

“Yeah, feels amazing”, you agree, “I’ve got you Bunny.”

Jungkook sobs, convulsing on top of you as if you just thrusted into him with all your strength. His cock throbs between your fingers, his fingers grip for your desperately. He doesn’t know where to touch, what to hold of you to make all of this easier to bear.

“Mommy”, he tries to call your name, maybe that will make it easier, but it doesn’t.

“I’m here, Bunny. I’ve got you”, you soothe him, sliding your left arm down his waist until you can press your fingers against his hole. You massage his stretched rim, giving him a reminder that he already orgasmed once and that he is terribly sensitive now.

“I can’t do this”, he sobs and convulses, “oh god please”, he pulls you closer, needing your warmth to survive.

“Break? Or need it closer?”

“Closer ple-please.”

You hug him strongly, tightening your grip around his cock just as you increase the pressure on his hole.

“Closer.”

The hug gains in intensity. You can barely move your hand up and down his cock, deciding on putting your attention on his tip instead. You massage his wet slit, giving it just a little bit of a stretch as you fuck the pad of your thumb into it. Your fingers are around the base of his tip, massaging it in rhythmical squeezes.

He begins panting, releasing loud noises each time he breathes out. He can’t stop. They leave him in sync with his body convulsing on top your lap. He drops each time he exhales, sagging his shoulders with it before his harsh inhale forces them to lift again and with it also Jungkook. Just a little, but it’s so intense for him that he is a little scared.

“Good boy, my good boy. You’re my good boy”, you praise him and kiss the shell of his ear.

Jungkook climaxes. He can’t tell you that he does, he also can’t change his voice before it happens, it just takes over. It starts at his slit this time around. The gentle fuck you gave it was too much. From there, it took over his whole cock until your strap did the rest.

Jungkook thought that the first orgasm was intense, but this is on another level. He claws at you in hopes of making it easier, even buries his teeth in your shoulder as his body shakes uncontrollably. But nothing helps. The fire feels endless. It is as if Jungkook never orgasmed before.

“Yes baby, my good boy”, Jungkook can hear you choke out and judging by the sound of your voice, you are orgasming with him. The thought makes it even more intense for him and by the time it finally starts to get easier, Jungkook has to sob.

“My Bunny, oh my Bunny”, you speak shakily, holding him so tightly while your lips litter him with kisses, “good job, my good boy. You did such a good job. I know Bunny, let it all out. You did so well.”

“It feels so good”, he presses out, “so good, Mommy”, he wails, pressing you closer with his fingers deep in your hair.

“I know Bunny, oh I know. My good boy, you took all of this so well.”

“Oh god”, Jungkook shudders, “oh god.”

“My good boy”, you keep praising him. It makes it so worthwhile to come back to you, “I love you so much, my good Bunnybaby.”

“Oh god, Mommy”, he gets out, trembling uncontrollably one last time before some of his clarity comes back. It’s difficult to come back sometimes. Jungkook loves being in subspace, so sometimes it’s hard for him to accept that he has to get back to reality again. It would make Jungkook feel really awful to be forced out of it entirely the moment the sex ended and you never make him feel this way. You always help him come back in such a nice way. You make him slip out of it far enough that you can do aftercare with him, but also allow him to stay in it deep enough that he can feel fuzzy even long after the main sex act ended.

“My good boy, you’re such a good boy”, you praise him, rubbing his buttocks gently, “how’s the stretch?”

He shakes his head.

“Doesn’t hurt?”

He nods his head.

“Then we’ll stay like this for a little, yeah?”

He nods his head again, hugging you tightly.

“And once you’re ready, I’ll give you a nice warm bath before we’ll have yummy dinner and lots of snuggles in bed. Yeah?”

He giggles, nodding his head.

“Yeah Bunnybaby, let’s do that”, you say, giving him a gentle squeeze, “fuck, I adore you.”

“I adore you too”, he whispers, “thank you so much for everything.”

“Mhm Bunny”, you sigh, kissing his shoulder as you pull him closer with the harness twisted in your fingers, “mine.”

Jungkook sighs in overwhelming happiness, pressing himself closer as his heart bursts for you. Yeah, you really make it so worthwhile to come back.